So I'll make this quick I guess, first FR.

  • Going out with my roommate tonight. He invites a girl he likes but she doesn't bring friends.
  • We go to a dance bar and they are dancing while I look pretty lame but I try to get into the music anyway.
  • A bunch of different people I know show up and say hi, I feel like a badass, but they don't hang out long and go back to their friends.
  • Roommates leaves me to go home with the girl he brought
  • I try to go hang out and meet their friends but in environments like a dance club I can't keep anyone interested or get a girl to dance (I'm for some reason terrified of dancing)
  • Find some other friends but I can't hear them very well and when I do get a chance to talk to the girls I freeze up and don't know what to say.
  • Leave and come home frustrated.

I had a few good interactions with girls but we talked only about the things we already knew about each other and I wasn't able to make the conversation more interesting or escalate.

Right now however, I want to think positive. I went out and at least tried and that is something I have trouble doing. Now I think I know the hurdles I need to get over: Fear of physical interaction (dancing), and finding ways to keep the conversation going. - I'm swear I'm not afraid to approach any girl, as long as that's the end of it. The problem is, when I do I never have anything to say and the conversation nosedives. This makes me really reluctant to approach at all. So frustrating!!

I want to make a fucking change in my life and I think I'm making progress, even though it's baby steps.