How have you changed? Before and after learning pickup.

bmduffy · 2012-07-10T07:43:42+00:00

I have changed so much from this subreddit.

Back in high school, people liked me. I wasn't your quintessential dorky kid, but I wasn't your super popular jock either. Think something in the middle. People would talk to me, but I wasn't the first person that people would want to invite to a party. I'm not sure why this was either. I considered myself a really cool guy to get to know and to hang out with.

I also considered myself okay with women. I had a few girlfriends throughout high school, but nothing really fiery in the way of hookups. Sure, there was the occasional make out with a woman, maybe have some casual sex every now and again, but I found pickup boring. A means to an end, basically. The goal was always sex, and women could sense that.

My friend and I actually found this subreddit together. We both were basically in the same mindset with women, and we basically just wanted to get better. The first thing I learned from reading any of the articles that were on the site was that the art of seduction should be enjoyable in its own right. You are trying to talk to someone and to gain their trust and basically befriend them. Physical contact does not have to be the end result. Find solace in the fact that you are having a conversation with another human being.

Now, in college, I am the person that people call to go to parties. I have now earned the nickname of "Stark". I talk to both men and women to talk to them and to get to know them better. Sex doesn't have to happen, and I am not disappointed if it doesn't. I find renewed excitement merely in the attempt to get to know new people.

TL;DR: Yes.

keikenamarinai · 2012-07-10T10:17:31+00:00

Before: classic case of "nice guy"/white knight. I knew nothing of how to flirt with girls or how to gauge their interest. I bought into the "girls only like jerks" nonsense and resented plenty of guys who now I understand were just confident (or even lucky; I hated them too.) I wanted to rescue someone or be rescued.

After*: I'm flirting and understanding how to pick up girls. I'm pretty comfortable talking to women, doing light kino, and making eye contact (for many years, making eye contac with anyone was extremely difficult for me.) I'm pretty optimistic about my future and I've got a few dates/mixers scheduled for the next couple of weeks. It's going well.

*Disclaimer: I'm still pretty new; my after section is a reflection on the last few months.

couduction · 2012-07-10T11:41:52+00:00

Before: SAP. Afraid to talk to girls because all I can think about is sex.

After: I'll talk to girls just for the hell of it. I still have AA, but I'm more confident in general and have many HB9/10 friends who help me in my confidence to attract more women. I still have yet to F-close, but I love my new confidence level. I no longer put HB7+'s immediately on a pedestal.

askywalker · 2012-07-10T08:50:26+00:00

I actually changed before finding this sub-reddit and am just here to share any helpful knowledge I may have. I find that doing so makes me think of new ideas, reminds me of old ones, and of course I learn some new ideas from others.

I really really think people need to examine their whole lives rather than just trying to learn some "tricks" to get women. Really, a lot of these tricks would just organically come out of you if you were a confident and happy man.

I hadn't slept with or even kissed a girl until I was 21. She became my girlfriend for 1.5 years and we lived together. However I was depressed, had a negative attitude, and did nothing to change it so she eventually left. That was the wake up call for me and I went about changing everything I could. There were a lot of ups and downs for the next year but I eventually emerged a very changed person. A happy person, a positive person, and a person with more attention from the opposite sex than i thought was possible.

My top 3 suggestions would be:

Be positive. Stop talking about how bad the movie was. Stop whining about your sadness and loneliness. Stop saying bad things about other people, friend and foe alike. All of this colors your attitude, it colors the emotions you feel, and it colors how people think of you. When I freed myself of negativity I felt so much better.
Go to the gym. It is so rewarding. I feel great. I look great. I have goals. It proves a point to myself that I have control over my body. Men and women alike give me compliments on my physique. It is much much easier to act and feel like an alpha male when you look like one.
Find a creative outlet. Take up art. Learn a new language. Participate in a sport. Something that you REGULARLY participate in. You will feel so accomplished at every milestone. You will feel like you have not wasted time. And other people will find you interesting.

The jist of it is that you need to realize that you only have control over yourself. You cannot control women. You cannot control other men. Most people spend their lives trying to exert control over others and ignore exerting control over themselves. Once you have left go of other people and stop wishing for the world to bend over to accommodate you, you will be at peace. You will be free to take control over yourself. And other people DO notice.

coyotelime · 2012-07-10T15:57:04+00:00

1) Talk to everyone with confidence. Smile, banter, kino. Tall, short, black, white, 80 YO, baby, don't give a fuck. Get used to interacting with strangers and the hot chicks will be just another one of them.
2) DGAF mentality regarding what others think. I am awesome and don't need others' approval. For me, this has been the most important lesson from seddit.
3) Reading body language. It's fucking awesome when you analyze others' just as well/if not better the female friends you're with when people watching.
4) Doing things for me. Eating well and working out because I want to improve myself, not because some girl in 3 years, call her HB10, is gonna blow me away and I wanna look my best. Fuck it, I look my best for ME.
5) When that HB10 does come, I want my game to be so good that she will just be another girl to banter with (but hopefully I'll know she's the one).
6) Learning new things. I learned how to ride a fucking bike (I'm almost 22) 2 weeks ago. I learned how to iron a shirt properly. I learned how to tie a tie, shower properly(I used wikihow. I wasn't washing in between my toes before :P)

Epicureanist · 2012-07-10T17:43:04+00:00

[permanently deleted]

FecklessPhilanderer · 2012-07-10T15:50:30+00:00

before: Life is so scary, nobody likes me, nobody wants to hang out with me, bitter, constantly missing opportunities in life due to shyness and neediness

now: Life is easier, I go into any situation knowing I'm awesome and believing i'm worth it^tm. Coincidentally I now get invited everywhere and girls are all over me constantly.

Also I should note that my looks barely changed, except for better body language and more confidently wearing the clothes I already owned.

Title	How have you changed? Before and after learning pickup.
Author	Wild-card_bitches
Upvotes	5
Comments	15
Date	July 10, 2012 7:30 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/wbglo/how_have_you_changed_before_and_after_learning/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-have-you-changed-before-and-after-learning.1335493 https://theredarchive.com/post/1335493

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