Building Confidence

bajing · 2012-10-08T02:38:00+00:00

Even seen the 40 year old virgin? If so you're a lot like Steve Carell, you're putting the pussy on a pedestal. I see this problem in so many of the guys who I do consultations for.

The solution? Love yourself, learn to the love the ever living shit out of yourself. The outcome is dependent only on the capacity of your inner self to fill the void you currently have.

Think of some activities that make you feel like the fucking man, things you do that you're so passionate and good at that no one else in the world can top you. After you've identified those things DO THEM, listen to pump up music, go over to /r/fitness and lift some weights. EVERYONE has room to improve, go over to /r/malefashionadvice and learn how to dress better.

Look at yourself in the mirror after you've done these things, style your hair, maybe wink at yourself and that's when the outcome don't matter anymore because YOU are better.

tl:dr: Be better and the women will come, first learn to love yourself. If you're in college and need some more advice check out my blog at www.collegepua.com

dt1234 · 2012-10-08T15:24:02+00:00

woooooooow

man I wish girls would give me 1/8 of the attention that you're getting...

jimjoekelly · 2012-10-08T08:37:53+00:00

I suggest watching this, it did a lot for me.

Kidcurry · 2012-10-08T03:08:43+00:00

I'm 30 and haven't had a girlfriend or been with a girl in any manner in over 8 years. And I know for a fact that women find me attractive. They have a way of letting you know, either directly or indirectly. I have my own place, a nice car, a lot of money, and am in great shape from sports. I have had a total of 1 girlfriend my entire life. I am so pathetic that I honestly go for months with essentially zero female contact. Yeah, I'm the man. BTW, I suffer from bad anxiety issues as well. Maybe you can build confidence knowing at least you're not me! =D

SupperTime · 2012-10-08T04:17:38+00:00

I am exactly like you.

I've had an exgf come over to my res late at night at around 3am, and she basically laid on my bed, while I slowly got on top of her. I quickly told her I was tired and for her to leave the room.

I've done moments like this over and over. And I play those moments over and over again in my head thinking of what I would've done, and thinking of different sexual outcomes - all of which weren't possible at the time.

I grew from that. I just picture myself as an 80 year old man on my death bed, thinking back... will I have any regrets? What things would I have done differently? I harness that ultimate fright to overcome all other fears, it makes me invincible.

Or hire a hooker just to break that ice.

Redsigil · 2012-10-08T07:50:36+00:00

I was single most of college. I did not have girls "throwing themselves at me" for one because I am probably not as good looking additionally because I seem to telegraph a lack of sexual intrigue in my behavior. My point comes in that towards the end of my college career I sort of got involved with this girl and I have to say - self derrision aside - I fucked every possible thing. We were not sexually compatible (not that we made it all the way), we did not have great conversations and we simply didn't click. The whole thing was silly to the point of being ridiculous. So bad was out communication that she did not understand I was coming back to the city after I graduated (a semester before her). So after a while we broke off our non-relationship.

There are two points I want to make from this whole story. The first one is that as ridiculous and nearly embarrassing and non-functional the whole thing was, it was fine in the end. I felt stupid, I laughed at myself and moved on. The second one is that even a comedy of a situation like this served a purpose. I was so comfortable and relaxed the day after I decided the whole thing needed to stop - THE DAY AFTER - that when I met the most beautiful girl I had ever seen at a bar, we hit it off, made out and she wound up being the first girl I ever loved.

So bottom line, don't worry about making a fool of yourself for a little while. There are worst things and YOU WILL LEARN FROM IT. You WILL get better and bit by bit you will allow yourself to be closer to the person you want to be.

Idontlikekarmawhores · 2012-10-08T08:31:22+00:00

Holyshit OP. ARE YOU ME?

jewfro667 · 2012-10-08T14:24:20+00:00

I'm like you in a way. You're basically scared of the awkwardness if you're rejected right?

Honestly man, just take chances. Every little step counts. Don't worry about fucking up, just do it. Easier said than done, I know, but you have to try.

2012-10-08T21:25:49+00:00

You know what's the good thing about making mistakes?

You can learn from 'em!

I have read so many different resources, and nothing has really worked.

Stop reading, start doing. Even if you logically understand, "I am a sexy motherfucker for <x> and <y> reasons", you won't internalize it without the real-life experiences. You won't FEEL confident without the real-life experiences.

When you look back on this experience, don't put yourself down for not escalating. It may be a decent motivator, but you want to focus on the positives, not the negatives. You should take it as, "A bunch of hot chicks were into me, sweet! I made a minor screw up, but it's all good."

It's a good thing you made these mistakes. Because now that you know how you're fucking yourself, you can learn how to unfuck yourself. You already have the information inside of you. Just act on it. You have a big (metaphorical) penis, use that shit.

Title	Building Confidence
Author	Kidcurry
Upvotes	19
Comments	13
Date	October 8, 2012 1:21 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1144y8/building_confidence/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/building-confidence.1340852 https://theredarchive.com/post/1340852

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