Becoming extroverted

mixmate · 2012-10-15T11:12:30+00:00

From my understanding, the difference is that introverts recharge batteries while being alone, whereas extroverts do it when with others.

So you can totally be an introvert and be very social, but after a while, you might want to look for some alone-time to be able to get new energy.

It's a pure assumption but I doubt that you fully can switch sides. My guess is that whether you are an introvert or an extrovert is hardwired in your DNA.

In your case the question is if you maybe always have been an extrovert, without knowing it.

terzog · 2012-10-15T13:39:08+00:00

I have a question for you.

For someone so introverted, how did you bring yourself to overcome approach anxiety, and just go and approach?

Im still having diffculty doing my first ever approach! It drives me nuts and I am not really a shy person in general.

leodoestheopposite · 2012-10-15T16:06:52+00:00

I will give you 3 answers:

It's complicated
The book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain changed my life, by making me understand better myself (I am VERY introvert) and the world around us. Highly recommended.
It's not really black and white, we are not either introvert or extroverts, but there's a continuum from one to another; and each one of us is extrovert in certain situation, and extrovert in other; but surely one or the other is prevalent.

Then there's the being shy issue, the book explains it much better than I can. In a nutshell, not all introverts are shy, most of them yes, but not all. And some extroverts are shy as well.

So, maybe you got over your shyness (I did) and now you might be introvert or extrovert but highly functional in social situations whereas before you were crippled due to your shyness.

Age, experience, reasoning, and seduction/PUA literature help.

2012-10-15T17:29:29+00:00

It takes a concerted effort to change your personality, but humans are very good at getting used to things. Take going to the gym for example: once you go about 3-4 times you start getting into the habit and enjoy the feeling of going, and then if you miss a day it feels unnatural. Pickup is the same.

I find that the best metaphor for it is Starcraft 2. It takes a great deal of effort to hit the Find Match button and start laddering. Once you do, the rush is extraordinary (and really really weird because it shouldn't mean anything). After forcing yourself to play a few more games, you get more used to it, and it becomes a fun sort of challenge to ladder. It's not as hard to get into.

I've found the exact same thing with pickup. At first you can lap clubs time and time again and lose the nerve to talk to anyone. Even when you're used to it you still sometimes have bad nights like that. Then other times, when you force yourself to do it, you realize you enjoy it and it's not actually that hard. Rejection just is what it is, and the game itself can be enjoyable simply for the challenge of it. I've only scratched the surface myself and this is how I feel.

For me, my main challenge is becoming more assertive, present, and comfortable with people (so that I'm better able to build attraction). This has taken me a lot more effort because it's a day-to-day, moment-to-moment change that requires a full overhaul. It's very easy to slip back into old habits. Eventually, you start to recognize times when you're being unconscious or unassertive, and it's much easier to jump back to the present and/or make an assertive decision. This has helped me in all social situations let alone pickup, which is why I love the game and can't wait to see where it will take me.

Dan-Man · 2012-10-15T09:09:52+00:00

I think the way that most people say how intro/extroversion works is wrong. It isn't some set defined thing. I think it just depends on a persons mood and habits and what they become used to, be it in a social setting or alone.

So as you become more confident in yourself in social environments and aquire more skills and be around more extroverts and all that energy, you are naturally going to feel more of an extrovert.

But other times where you feel you are out of your element and unsure of yourself you might feel more of an introvert and tell yourself as such. But look to the situation you are in and the people around you as a cause, not necessarily just you switching back to an introvert.

So yeah basically i think its an ever shifting process all dependent on the countless factors effecting us throughout our daily lives.

2012-10-15T13:26:53+00:00

Im right about in the same position as you ( i was never shy though ) and im leaning towards yes unlike what many people in the mbti subreddits would like to admit. The reason why i say this is because im starting to notice -- little by little, that im leaning toward a more extraverted response in my daily reactions with people. I also believe that style went though this transformation during a portion of 'the game'. I wouldnt say that he was introverted ( i have no proof) but i think it is highly likely that he was IMO. Anyway remember that part where he goes back to meet some of his writing buddies from college?? This is after he is becomes a skilled pua. He describes not being able to fit in their conversation thread anymore. He mentions how he would lose interest and would prefer small talk and such. I think that this marks his conversion from introvert to extravert. My extraverted friends behave the same way during conversation with some of my hard introvert friends. Ive managed to fit in because ive studied their behavioral patterns and made some serious social changes to my life, plus my friends grew to like me for who i am. I dont think ive changed as much as style yet ( and im not sure if id want to ) but im on my way there.

spaceclown · 2012-10-15T15:15:42+00:00

You don't have to change to an extrovert to be happy with where you are in your interactions with women. I can't tell if you're confusing introversion with shyness/social anxiety (kind of sounds like your are), but here's a link to a post I did about being comfortable and confident as an introvert a while back for you or anyone else that didn't get a chance to see it. I was thinking about making another post regarding introversion in this community; it seems that there's a large number of introverts around here that might be under the impression that they have to become an extrovert to be successful, and that's not the case.

You-Awesomer · 2012-10-15T23:30:32+00:00

"You become what you repeatedly do". Just keep putting yourself in social situations and act extroverted until it becomes natural to you.

Title	Becoming extroverted
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	9
Comments	13
Date	October 15, 2012 7:39 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/11i4dp/becoming_extroverted/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/becoming-extroverted.1341193 https://theredarchive.com/post/1341193

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