Just got out of a 6 year relationship. Need advice for moving on.

maverickhunter · 2012-10-15T06:48:53+00:00

My advice for you would be to develop your self-confidence by doing the things you want to do. From my experience with long term relationships you pour a lot of energy into spending all that time with the other person and miss out on those things you otherwise would've been doing.

Meeting people should come second to you becoming a better person. Learn to be awesome and meeting people becomes easy.

jjjericho · 2012-10-15T02:42:17+00:00

7 years, welcome to the club. Flying solo on a Fri and Sat night consecutive weekends helps. Dive in, force yourself to adapt. Just going out alone changes your perspective and boosts your self confidence. Guys from long term deals tend to let friends fade and always go out as a couple for years. Going out just as you makes a world of difference. Biggest enemy hands down is your own mind. Nothing but changes in behavior and repetition can alter that.

Solacee · 2012-10-15T13:55:09+00:00

I think the most important step people tend to forget when trying to get over a long term relationship is that you need to:

Abolish all feelings of comfort and familiarity you built with this girl. During the relationship you probably got comfortable not dressing up nicely around her, leaving your hair undone, etc. Remove all of these notions immediately.
Along those lines, STOP all communication with her. And I mean ALL. No texting, no calling, no Facebook, no meeting up. Nothing that could possibly bring back the feelings you had for this girl. It's worth it in the end, trust me. You know why.
Hang out with your friends, a lot. When you're out with your friends, try and meet new ones. When you're out by yourself, try and meet new ones. Everybody has a story to tell and by surrounding yourself with new people all that oneitis will disappear soon.
Avoid sitting at home moping around and feeling sorry for yourself. It gets you NOWHERE. It's detrimental to your success, and its easy to fall into that mindset. Do not fucking dare do that.

If you have any other questions, feel free to ask me. I've been where you are and I wish I knew then what I know now.

w0lfie7 · 2012-10-15T15:28:10+00:00

[permanently deleted]

maestroni · 2012-10-15T01:02:09+00:00

You are at the same position as any other guy who hasn't been dating for a long time (some people haven't dated for their entire lives). Read the basics, go out, and start practicing. That's the only way you can possibly succeed.

In your situation you should probably try extra hard to get rid of any oneitis you have for your ex, but otherwise it's the same.

2012-10-15T02:31:46+00:00

I recently came out of a 3 year relationship. I was a little hesitant the first month, but I've found that my confidence and self-value have sky rocketed since the last time I was single. I never remembered it being this easy in the past.

ilovemodok · 2012-10-15T05:03:30+00:00

I'm in the same place, man. Recently out of a 6 year relationship/ marriage.

Maybe it's not for everyone, but I've been travelling and it's helped me lots. I work online though, so I've been travelling SE Asia for 5 months now, but I'm sure even 2-4 weeks in Thailand would do you wonders.

Not just meeting wonderful Thai women, but there's plenty of wonderful women from around the world. I've made lots of new friends from all over too. Best is, you are travelling town-to-town and country to country, always a fresh start to try new things.

Not only has this helped me with women, but it's helped me make many friends and build confidence too. Plus, you read a lot more when on the beach (and get a nice tan), so I'm reading more confidence building/ game related books.

2012-10-15T10:48:29+00:00

TrippAdvice has a nice thread about moving on, use the search function to find it if you can, or if someone can link it (I'm on the phone atm)

Freevoulous · 2012-10-15T12:59:28+00:00

pick up new hobbies (like guitar, tinkering or something)
take a martial arts class, dancing classes, rock climbing
Approach at least 5 women every day. Daygame, nightgame, whatever.
Get in touch with female friends, espacially single ones, or "old flames".
sign up on several online dating websites, remember to snap some kickass photos first!
if possible, find a wingman or a wingwoman (see the advice #4)
hit the gym, work out, follow a proper diet (Paleo diet rules).

Use the anger/anxiety after the breakup, as energy to pull a real transformation into your best self. Imagine what kind of a guy would be too good for your ex, way out of her league, and become 120% bettter :D

Title	Just got out of a 6 year relationship. Need advice for moving on.
Author	w0lfie7
Upvotes	11
Comments	16
Date	October 15, 2012 12:50 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/11hk6l/just_got_out_of_a_6_year_relationship_need_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/just-got-out-of-a-6-year-relationship-need-advice.1341201 https://theredarchive.com/post/1341201

Comments