Seddit veterans frequently advise newbies to talk to everyone. I wholeheartedly agree. I thought it might be useulf to provide some examples of this in practice.

  • Today at a coffee shop there was a girl sitting at the table next to me who was writing furiously in her notebook while listening to her iPod. After observing a bit, I noticed she seemed to have a pained look on her face. I signaled for her to take out her earpiece and said: "Excuse me for interrupting, but are you writing as therapy? And BTW feel free to tell me to buzz off if you'd rather not say." She smiled and said, yes. She had a tear coming out of her eye. I said "A recent breakup?" Yes. We talked a little about relationships and using writing to process them. She showed some interest int talking to me further by asking questions, but after a while I could see her getting distracted, so I said "I'll let you get back to processing your emotions on paper. Nice talking to you."

  • Last night at a strip club, I bummed a smoke off a stripper who I've flirted with and bought a couple lap dances from over the last few months. While standing there smoking I mentioned that there is a one-night-only showing of Pulp Fiction coming up that I was stoked to see. She said she loved that movie, so I asked if she'd like to go with me. She did. Then I mentioned a new project I'm working on that involves the film industry. She said she had some friends she could introduce me to. So I got her number and sent her a text asking her to hook me up. She replied later that night with "Definitely."

  • (As an aside to the above, today I bought tickets to the show and posted an event on Facebook. I also posted it on a movie meetup group I run. So far about a half dozen people have RSVP'd.)

  • Before that I was eating at the Whole Foods food court. Noticed a woman at the table next to me was reading a book by Carlos Castaneda, an author whose name I hear a lot but whom I've never read. "Just curious, how do you like that book?" Led to a discussion about how he compares to Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Didn't try to get her number because I wasn't that attracted.

  • While checking out at Whole Foods, the cashier asked me "how are you?" Instead of saying "fine," I said "I feel great. I just finished a yoga class and a salsa class and I'm in a great place right now." She perked up at the mention of salsa, asking where I did it. I told her about the classes and the place I go every Thursday night. She clearly was interested so I made her promise to come out sometime. Didn't try to number close because I wasn't that attracted to her.

  • Countless times at a coffee shops, restaurants and retail establishments, when the server opens with the standard "how are you?". I always answer either "I am awesome!" or "Oh, I'd say about an 8." This has led to a lot of giggles and many interesting conversations. A few times they've said "that's the best answer I've heard all day."

  • Also at coffee shops, when ordering I sometimes say "I'd like a big-ass cup of coffee." Always gets a laugh.

  • Another time at a coffee shop I noticed a girl had an iPad, back when that was still a rare thing to see. "How do you like your iPad?" Ended up f-closing her two days later.

These examples skew heavily toward women and coffee shops because they stand out in my memory, but I talk to guys too when I see an opening.

If you see something that interests you, verbalize it. When the girl above was writing in her journal, I seriously wondered what she was writing. Instead of keeping it to mysef, I just asked. Same for the girl reading Carlos Castaneda. You can do this with observations as well. "That's a really cool scarf" or (if she's wearing, say, an I heart NY shirt) "NYC is awesome, did you go there recently?"