For those of you who transformed into a better man, was it worth all the struggle?

2013-03-05T03:42:54+00:00

Before: I wanted to kill myself

After: Life is too damn enjoyable to even remotely think such thoughts.

I'm not swimming in sex, but I have people that genuinely want to be in my life. I have friends that respect me for who I am. I know girls who crave the D. When I pass by a girl, about 30% of the time, she'll check me out or shyly blush or get flustered (and I'm an average looking dude).

These days, I'm only alone if I choose to be alone. And guess what? I'd consider myself as just an intermediate.

Was it worth it? Well, I didn't kill myself, so yeah.

IceCream_Social · 2013-03-05T02:58:15+00:00

Completely, I'm not saying I would qualify myself as a PUA by any means but the work has totally been worth it. I've been going at game for 3-4 months maybe? First three months were super awkward and miserable and at times you don't feel like you're making any progress but rest assured you are. I'd go out to bars and talk to girls and crash and burn everytime and be bummed about it and think I wasn't making progress. The reality of the situation is that a month ago I WASNT EVEN TALKING TO GIRLS, so even though they were shooting me down I was still making huge strides in my ability to socialize and be comfortable around women.

Fast forward to now and I've become decently proficient at meeting women and conversing with them. It's much more exciting going out now because I know when I go to this party Im going to meet some cute girl and talk to her, dance with her, and maybe more ;)

As far as motivation went, the setbacks WERE my motivation. If I got back from an evening where I didn't open any girls or didn't talk or dance I would immediately get back to my room and study the situation and figure out what I did wrong and could change. Feeling sorry for yourself is THE WORST thing you can do. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back in the saddle.

2013-03-05T03:33:37+00:00

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General_Awesome · 2013-03-05T03:11:11+00:00

Yes it's worth it, and it's never over. It's not a struggle, it's a journey.

sexypirates · 2013-03-05T03:16:53+00:00

Honestly, it's completely dependent on viewpoint. I welcomed both successes and failure. I'm thankful for every single girl that has rejected me, because each taught an indispensable lesson about societal rules, psychology, and even economics, to a degree. Once I promised to myself that I would learn something new every night, to work on my shortcomings and never repeat the same mistakes, eventually my successes began outnumbering my failures.

Since picking up game, I've lost 40 pounds of fat, rebuilt it into muscle, am able to, at a glance, calibrate the receptiveness of my target, obtain feedback on how I'm doing by observing how she is communicating with her friends in my presence and determine the response or direction of the conversation to meet my desired objective.

Eventually you will get to the point where social proof will be enough to get you to meet new people, but this won't be possible until you've obtained basic skills outline above. Keep your head up, and treat every interaction as a chance to test out new theories or practice what you've learned from previous outings. If it helps, you can imagine a persona of your perfect self and play the part when you go out. Don't say anything out of character, and one day it will click for you. If you begin doubting yourself, remember that excellence not an act, but a habit.

flirtgeek · 2013-03-05T03:34:31+00:00

I'm telling you dude that it is WORTH it, no matter how many times some people don't seem to "like" you. Who cares?! Don't take it personally, they're probably having a bad day, not your problem.

There's other people out there you can be friends with and accept you for who you are and want to be. Whether you want to be "The Most Intersting Man in the World" or the local Casanova, you have to be true to yourself and as long as there's people who like you for you and respect you, especially women...what more can you ask for? :)

Ebon_Cobra · 2013-03-05T06:59:17+00:00

This is a stupid question. No one is going to say it wasn't worth it. A better question would be to ask men whose transformation took a LONG time if it was worth the potential time investment, given the other things they could have been doing with the same amount of effort in the same amount of time.

pigggybabe · 2013-03-05T14:59:11+00:00

What motivated you to push forward after setbacks and how do your feel about the future?

Some day I woke up and realised something...

I got rejected by 2 girls in the same year. I had no friends, no social life. I got rejected again, then had some kind of mental "crush", I was a wreck. I had problems with sleeping, I felt this fking hole, black fking hole in my life... terrible feeling. One morning I found reddit.com, I started browsing subreddits and I got here. I kept reading and reading and reading.

Then I started talking to random people, I started to be more outgoing person, my confidence started growing. I stopped moaning about my boring life or how fked up I am and started to like myself.

Now, I am still not a good PUA (if I can call myself a pua) but I have no problems talking to random people, more people started to like me, I actually made a friend and I'm dating a hot girl.

how do your feel about the future?

Only good things.

But mostly importantly, was it worth it?

HELL YES.

PS It might be a little chaotic, if you're having problems trying to understand my post, leave a comment and I'll work on it.

nufli · 2013-03-05T05:29:36+00:00

if anything, it'll get you out of your shell, the fact that you want to keep improving yourself is a good thing, use that to any aspect of your life and it will be better.. i've personally become an extremely happy person, i dont game like anyone else in here but i can now enjoy people just because i can talk to them.

ass_fungus · 2013-03-05T05:40:45+00:00

No, I'd rather be back where I was, 20 pounds heavier and spending weekends eating Dominos while playing Fallout 3.

RandianHero · 2013-03-05T17:26:49+00:00

Clearly. Being successful and having genuine confidence is far better than the alternative.

Title	For those of you who transformed into a better man, was it worth all the struggle?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	5
Comments	20
Date	March 5, 2013 2:39 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/19oj1l/for_those_of_you_who_transformed_into_a_better/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/for-those-of-you-who-transformed-into-a-better-man.1348468 https://theredarchive.com/post/1348468

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