If I were a girl, I wouldn't want to date me. How do I start to like myself?

2013-04-26T01:12:21+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTjww638BM8&feature=related

You're welcome.

zoso471 · 2013-04-26T02:43:47+00:00

Man, this question really hits home, I'm exactly the same way. I felt like I had to drink a lot to be interesting, when I just turned into a douche. I've gotten much better, not quite there yet, but here are some things that helped me ,

1) Meditation - really helps me live in the present. I used to get a lot of negative thoughts. I used to think about all the times I fucked up in the past, and I used to think about how I might never find a girl in the future, I'd end up being alone and depressed. This all really affected me in the present. I still have these thoughts, but less than I used to, and I"ve started meditating which really helped me clear my mind and get these thoughts out of my head.

2) Be transparent - I used to really lock myself away for periods of time. I just liked being alone. People were always saying how I would "fall of the face of the earth" for periods at a time, because I just would spend days without really wanting to talk to anyone. I started to change that by getting into social media more, actually inviting friends and planning things to do (instead of always waiting for an invite), letting people know where I was, tried to take on more hobbies with my free time so I didn't have time to lock myself away. I really wanted to be held accountable for my actions and if there was a time I didn't have anything to do, I would let people know and ask if they want to do something. You'll find that you'll meet more people this way and be able to like yourself more as others like you more.

3) Take up hobbies - the best way to be interesting is to take up hobbies (and let people know you're taking them up). I decided to try and learn spanish. It not only takes up free time but it's a good conversation topic. The more you're involved in, the more you have to talk about. I'm involved in alot of sports, part of a few clubs, and have taken a few interests. Having a wide array of interests really allows you to open more avenues to go down during a conversation.

and most importantly...

4) Believe in yourself. Because if you don't believe in yourself, no ones else will give a shit about you. I truly believe that we are given certain few opportunities in life, and the rest we have to make for ourselves. Just start acting confident. Start pretending to love yourself. Then other people will start to like you which will lead to you liking you. What don't you like about you? Change it. Who do you like - act like that person. Just be someone who is always looking for a good time, don't take things too seriously and you'll be golden.

PISS_IN_THEIR_KETTLE · 2013-04-25T22:55:38+00:00

As Dale Carnegie says; "In order for people to become interested in you, you must become interested in them."

I'm no life coach, but write a list of the things you like about yourself (however small that may be) and then create a list of things you would to add to the above list.

When you compare the two, you might just be able to form a plan of action!

And don't forget man, girls aren't the answer to your identity, they're just a by-product.

Nebula829 · 2013-04-26T10:22:10+00:00

I don't think anyone else can help you with this answer. Ultimately what you're looking for is going to be found deep within you. It sounds like maybe seeing a doctor/psychologist might help if you're experiencing any social anxiety or depression.

That being said I will offer some insight. I found a lot of pressure left me when I started realizing women are people too. Sounds funny but I would always read how to be a "perfect alpha male" then psych myself out thinking I had to be James Bond just to get laid. But looking around I saw a lot of guys who sit on their ass playing video games who landed 8s and 9s. On the outside they had just as much to offer as I did, but I didn't know get what these women got from these guys that I wasn't doing. Ultimately I found out it's just about giving her a good time. Offer a good time and be a guy who gives her something to talk about to her friends. It's not about anything physical, it's about making her feel more alive by offering adventure and excitement. Sometimes it even involves unhappy emotions but to a girl it's all good. Putting girls into emotional states is really the only way they can start to feel anything for you. It sounds like it's something you can't do (that's how I felt), but it's a lot easier than I thought. I don't have to be a base jumper or world traveler. I just have to stay silly, be upbeat, tease her, put her in some mildy embarassing situations, etc. Just have fun and lose yourself in the moment.

2013-04-25T22:54:09+00:00

you just need to change your way of looking at things. when you look at the millions of people in this country as a whole, our lives are all fairly routine. but crazy shit happens at points all throughout your life. and we get little hobbies and do little things to stimulate our brains a little bit. so what I mean is most people aren't super interesting every day, but the little things that happen are. so talk about those things. ever hear or see something hilarious, scary, absurd, sexy, or idiotic happen? what do you talk to your male friends about, or girls you are unattracted to? those are great places to start thinking of things you would say.

main point: you are probably more interesting than you give yourself credit( and stop thinking negatively about yourself unless you put in work to change the issue)

ThrowawayPUA · 2013-04-25T23:51:26+00:00

Look at what you're doing right now. No I don't mean reading seddit. Generally what you're doing today, this evening, this hour. Would you want to hang out with a guy who does that?

You don't have to change your life completely, overnight. Just add some things to your life, stuff you wouldn't normally do. Like maybe just once a day, go out of your routine. Go somewhere you wouldn't go. Even the library or an art gallery, or a coffee shop, some place mundane. But that's the sort of place you'd probably like hanging out with someone.. like yourself.

StaciNJake · 2013-04-25T23:55:33+00:00

What kind of hobbies do you enjoy? or is there something that you've always wanted to learn, like how to play the guitar, etc.?

Find something that you've always wanted to do, get passionate about it, and when someone/people see how excited you are about it, they will think you're interesting. I wouldn't do something that someone else is doing just because they're cool or interesting, do it because you like it. It will come across big time to friends and ladies. Confidence!

new_player · 2013-04-26T00:59:11+00:00

What brings you joy in life? Focus on that. Remind yourself of it when you're about to go out; let it charge you up. How close are your personal relationships? Build on your friendships.

jofke · 2013-04-26T02:19:27+00:00

The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden

nittutt · 2013-04-26T10:20:37+00:00

Read more books. Find more interests. Have more experiences.

Title	If I were a girl, I wouldn't want to date me. How do I start to like myself?
Author	throwawaysedq
Upvotes	4
Comments	14
Date	April 25, 2013 10:40 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1d4537/if_i_were_a_girl_i_wouldnt_want_to_date_me_how_do/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/if-i-were-a-girl-i-wouldnt-want-to-date-me-how-do.1351235 https://theredarchive.com/post/1351235

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