I'm currently dating a girl that is way out of my league. I fear she will leave me and I don't want to ruin what we have right now because of these issues. What do I do?

IAMTHEDEATHMACHINE · 2013-06-04T20:53:35+00:00

This isn't the place for this question, friend.

However, you need to demolish your idea of "leagues" and which one you fall into. If you think you're dating up, you'll act like you're dating up, and it'll make you look weak and needy.

Since you're already dating her, think of it this way: she chose to date you. She didn't drunkenly make out with you or dance with you at some crowded club. She chose to date you. She obviously thinks that you're good enough for her.

Now go work on yourself and become really good at something so you don't feel shitty.

recyclablebantha · 2013-06-05T10:33:16+00:00

I'm currently dating a girl that is way out of my league: I fear she will leave me.......

Obviously I have low self esteem. How can I improve this aspect?

This is a Seddit/Relationships 1st World Problem if I ever saw one.

You're CURRENTLY DATING her, for fuck's sake. That means that if the idea of league even applies, by fucking definition, you are IN her league.

Do yourself a favor, the next time thoughts about her being waaaaay out of her league surface, tell those thoughts to go FUCK the hell off, because they're flying in the face off reality. It's necessary that you do this for yourself. No one can do it for you. And it will help your self-esteem.

__Cyber_Dildonics__ · 2013-06-05T10:31:31+00:00

In addition to all the other advice here it is unlikely a woman will leave you if she sees progression. Start working out and learn about building muscle. Eat way less sugar. Learn fashion and get clothes that fit better. Wear clothes that are interesting. Do something cooler with your hair. Improve your hygiene, improve how clean you keep your place. Get a better place. Clean your car. Study for a better job. Start seizing opportunities and tell her about it. Learn to speak better. Make new friends. Stand up for yourself. Smile more. Better posture. Speak slower. Learn a new hobby or skill. Not easy but it is simple.

Hotdogbunz · 2013-06-04T20:23:29+00:00

Improve your lifestyle and if you're astute enough to locate the psychological problem underlying maladaptive behavior, you can begin to address it systematically. I reccomend the cognitive behavioral therapy workbook titled "Feeling Good" by Dr. Burns. The cover is cheesy as hell, but it's practical CBT condensed into a single volume. Best of luck in your progress.

puntingbaxter · 2013-06-04T20:25:46+00:00

This probably isn't the right place for this...

definez · 2013-06-04T21:01:32+00:00

As people probably have told you before; DO NOT put women on a pedestal, this will only fuck shit up.

When it comes to your low self esteem.. who will tell you that you are awesome if you don't believe it yourself? Because you are. You landed a girl that is more attractive then yourself, at least in your eyes, so that must mean you're a pretty awesome guy. Tell yourself this and believe it.

ThrowawayPUA · 2013-06-04T22:08:45+00:00

If you're dating her, you are in her league.

banalredditing · 2013-06-04T20:34:09+00:00

Do something to be worth something. If you can't look in the mirror and see a goal you have, or want, then you're not ready.

And don't worry about it, as long as you're workign towards someone, it will be attractive. Thats how starving artists work

2013-06-05T01:25:40+00:00

The question isn't are you good enough for her; rather you should be asking is she good enough for you.

and i dunno Why are people saying this isn't the place for this question? This guy needs game and what this subreddit offers more than ever now: he needs to realise he is good enough and believe in himself.

mate, she is just a person. and if you are here askign for help, it means you have standards, and if you have standards than anyone could be yours. so well done for asking. it's the first step unna.

just be yourself unapolagetically. don't try to impress her, there is no need. the moment you start trying to impress her, or looking for her reactions and validation from her, she will sense that you feel she is better than you. so don't suck up to her, because she will feel you are a challenge.

__Cyber_Dildonics__ · 2013-06-05T04:58:53+00:00

In addition to all the other advice here it is unlikely a woman will leave you if she sees progression. Start working out and learn about building muscle. Eat way less sugar. Learn fashion and get clothes that fit better. Wear clothes that are interesting. Do something cooler with your hair. Improve your hygiene, improve how clean you keep your place. Get a better place. Clean your car. Study for a better job. Start seizing opportunities and tell her about it. Learn to speak better. Make new friends. Stand up for yourself. Smile more. Better posture. Speak slower. Learn a new hobby or skill. Not easy but it is simple.

PowerSeductionWar · 2013-06-04T21:32:14+00:00

I hope you were paying attention to what you did to get her, that way you can always get another girl "out of your league" if this one doesn't work out.

What you did should put you in a position to do so that you can keep doing.

2013-06-05T02:22:43+00:00

Yea dude get over yourself if shes not in your freaking league then what is she doing with you . Yes even you admit you have self confidence issues. What you gonna do now is to try to figure why your confidence is so damn low and do it fast. Shes gonna see through you like your a mudafucking ghost

FredFredson · 2013-06-05T06:17:58+00:00

The title of this thread is exactly the reason why she will end up leaving you.

neversleep · 2013-06-05T06:35:29+00:00

Guys thank you all for your advice. Im doing great actually. I have more perspective now. I still might have some issues but i wont let them wreck my relationship with other people. You guys gave me a lot of confidence, im glad i posted this here.

mescalineeyes · 2013-06-04T21:51:00+00:00

This might come in helpful: http://heartiste.wordpress.com/the-sixteen-commandments-of-poon/

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