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[–]Lead ModeratorThrowawayPUA 25 points26 points27 points 13 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
she said she didn't want to have sex because she just got out of a 3 year relationship.
[facepalm]
That was predictable and avoidable.
[–][deleted] 13 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebantha 15 points16 points17 points 13 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
I am by no means an expert, can you elaborate?
He is probably referring to the fact that you can avoid engaging a girl's defenses like that or if they are triggered, you can always patiently wait it out, while reassuring her that there's no pressure to do anything (and that you don't want her to do anything that she'd be uncomfortable with). If you had kept the conversation going a little more instead of assuming nothing more was possible, then you would have probably have seen that you could have gone at least a little further than you did. (I've been in several situations where taking a girl literally would have meant that nothing happened, only to patiently and reassuringly wait things out and find that a lot more was possible than I would have thought.)
But on the other hand, if you like her, then waiting a little won't hurt anything. Especially if what /u/Zonert found was true. Just take care to keep your head on straight through all of this. She was attracted to you in part because the new you wasn't a puppy dog for her. If you start fawning over her, you'll be giving up your new sense of self, and with it, part of the attraction.
[–]Bombe_Bombe 7 points8 points9 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you start fawning over her, you'll be giving up your new sense of self, and with it, part of the attraction.
Wisdom. This exact thing happened to me; I broke out of the friendzone because I stopped giving a shit and started parading my success with other girls around in front of her. Then it took about two months to completely revert to my old needy, obsessive self. She dumped my ass, and I had my heart broken. That's actually what led me to the seduction community in the first place. So I guess the net value of the experience was positive, but I wouldn't recommend it if you can avoid it. Just be careful.
[–]Lead ModeratorThrowawayPUA 11 points12 points13 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
/recyclablebantha has some of it downthread. But I am saying that you plan ahead to prevent last minute resistance. Like if you go for an extended makeout, you're giving the woman stimulus, that's what she wants. But if you tell her something like "just one kiss, that's all you get," then she has to become the aggressor to get the stimulus she wants. Similarly, at the last minute when she resists, the freeze-out works wonders. She says no, you have to stop. So you stop completely and don't whine or pout, you take it in stride. Go get a glass of water or check your email on your phone. This is a state break and if she wants to resume the pleasurable state she had, she must re-initiate.
[–]puncakes 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She got you.
Is what I think he meant.
[–]RandomassDude 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I was recently in a situation where a woman said this to me (two years, not three) and said she didn't want to be in a sexual relationship. Long story short, we're not currently in a sexual relationship. Are you saying that's a situation that should just be avoided entirely?
[–]neronate55 10 points11 points12 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Although this was more of a success story rather than a field report, it was a great read.
Its already been said, but watch your steps with Sally. It sounds like the insecurity caused by ending a 3 yr relationship coupled with the jealousy of your success with the girl at the bar caused her to use you (maybe unintentionally) as a rebound. If your ok with that, go for it! If you want a relationship with her make sure you talk it out with her so she knows.
Also I really enjoyed your follow up to opening the girls at the bar. Especially how you followed up with a funny story about yourself. Good job!
[–]Geckel9 points 13 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
Everything sounded like a fine, fun night. Building attraction is always half the fun anyway.
With Sally though, I'd just say be careful. All this talk about jealousy, and not being overtly sexual makes it seem like she moved you from a friend to potential relationship material. I'd have that conversation, about where you guys stand, sooner rather than later. Just let her know that you enjoy your single life and that you see yourself this way in the immediate future. She is your friend after all and being honest pretty important, even if it means you don't sleep with her.
[–]Mooninites7 2 points3 points4 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I have to say I really liked your opener for that group of girls
[–][deleted] 13 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Kanaro 2 points3 points4 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The term friendzone is used appropriately here. It means he turned from being 'not very Alpha' to someone desirable. It's not like he tried to get out of the friendzone or pursued her, and that's exactly the point here. He accepted it. But he felt there was more in for him, so he went for it. And this is the perfect 'anti-friendzone' mindset.
The term is a leftover from his earlier times and shows from where he came and where he is now.
[–]Gelnn 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don't think your boy alienated anyone here, did he? WTF?
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[–]Lead ModeratorThrowawayPUA 25 points26 points27 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebantha 15 points16 points17 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Bombe_Bombe 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Lead ModeratorThrowawayPUA 11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]puncakes 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]RandomassDude 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]neronate55 10 points11 points12 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Geckel9 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Mooninites7 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Kanaro 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Gelnn 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link