Inverse of the most annoying question

joshsway · 2013-09-19T19:56:17+00:00

I posted an article on my website about oneitis and the 'standard therapy' I've copy pasted a chunk of it for you if you don't feel like clicking. This is just the basics, but the basics take care of 90% of the cases (yea yea, everyone thinks their case is special)

First, cut off contact, facebook stalking, and other similar activities. You do not need to defriend them, delete their number from your phone, or anything like that; simply disengage all contact.

Second, go out and interact with other women. It is common to believe that a particular woman, especially a “one-itis” is “special”. I am sure she is, but there are millions of other special women. She is not unique. Go out and meet other women and you will learn this quickly. If you are not learning this it is because you are still suffering from illusions as to this particular woman’s value.

Third, do not expect results over night. Getting over one-itis takes time. By time I don’t mean days, or even weeks; it could be months until your obsession is just a tiny footnote in your mind (or perhaps an embarrassing time in your life you laugh about). Accept that it will take time for your feelings to dissipate, but they will.

In your case, the first point might be tough, but if I were you I would try to ignore her/only casually say hi to her etc. (basically, minimal contact that doesn't appear like you are actively avoiding her) in lieu of cutting off all contact as that is unrealistic for your situation given she is in your friend group.

The full article is here: http://www.joshsway.com/articles/view/one-itis-and-the-standard-cure

HarfNarfArf · 2013-09-20T06:05:40+00:00

Everyone has covered the main points but just to add to their great advice, one thing that really helped me a few years back getting over my first serious girlfriend:

Anytime you find yourself wallowing in dread and getting sad about her (or even just thinking about her), you should immediately get up and move and get active. My personal suggestion is take up an activity that will improve your game, seeing as you are on seddit.

It's essentially a mental change of topic.

zzonked7 · 2013-09-20T11:48:50+00:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GdnYedTpToA

rotating_pencil · 2013-09-20T18:11:19+00:00

Are you me? That is spot on what happened to me last year. It was ridiculous, and worse is that she knew but still hung out with me. She told my friends that I wasn't her type.

At the end of the day, I began talking to more people and having other interests, only talking to her if SHE initiates. Since she still wanted my friendship, I accepted that and moved on, occasionally hanging out with her. Without stopping contact, it definitely took more time for the feelings to subside, but I can say for certain I'm completely over it and onto new things. The best thing really is finding new girls of interest. She's become a close friend, and I couldn't be happier with the result.

HappyJerk · 2013-09-19T20:15:46+00:00

she'll be around my group of friends for awhile, and I'd like to be her friend

Sorry, if you have actual, real one-itis, you have to reject her completely and start getting over her. So that means y'all can't be friends, and you might have to dump your mutual friends if she's gonna be around there.

ackshunpact · 2013-09-20T00:57:37+00:00

Cut her out completely. Find something new to take your mind off her (hobbies, sports, etc.) And give it time. Most important is to cut her out though.

Title	Inverse of the most annoying question
Author	thetempy
Upvotes	10
Comments	6
Date	September 19, 2013 6:55 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1mq7m6/inverse_of_the_most_annoying_question/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/inverse-of-the-most-annoying-question.1358623 https://theredarchive.com/post/1358623

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