Question to all of you who believe in "Mind over Matter" - should I do meditation or visualisation to improve my confidence?

Heizenbrg · 2013-11-07T14:34:23+00:00

Meditation helps, but meditation by itself doesn't improve your confidence. Going out and taking action will improve your confidence over time.

I'm sure the average meditator can remain calm and relaxed in quiet room without much external stimulus. Would they be able to keep that state of calmness when they go out to a loud venue blasting music while trying to pickup girls? Probably not.

Don't get me wrong, meditation is amazing. But it's only a dessert. Going out and taking action is the main course.

wintermuteprime · 2013-11-07T14:35:03+00:00

There is some science behind the whole MOM business. I cannot cite any studies offhand, but it's well-known that athletes will visualize themselves doing tasks over and over and over again, to help streamline and perfect their actions. Ex: Shooting a free shot. Passing across the middle. Vaulting over the bar.

By doing this over and over, they are able to improve their performance by visualizing what they're about to do. I wish I could cite you some sources to back it up, but google is your friend.

Anyways, visualize yourself doing approaches. Visualize yourself calm, cool and collected, walking into a place, and hitting the first group to your right, and saying hey, and engaging all of them in conversation. And not dropping the ball, and smiling, and putting off a good vibe. And everyone feels it, and they return the smiles and friendliness. And then you're off to the next group.

If you have any one sticking point, go over it again, and again in your head, seeing yourself doing it, again and again. NOT quickly...slowly. And in your vision, make sure YOU speak slowly, with a loud, clear voice. See everything happen as you want.

If you do this, you're essentially going through 'test runs'. Your subconscious really can't tell the difference when it pulls upon it for background. If you get the visualization down, it will help a lot in calming your nerves, and making more of your actions come naturally...because you'll have done it a million times.

All that said amigo, make sure to actually GO AND DO IT...because if you don't the visualization is pointless. You have to cement it in reality at some point. Good luck!

joshsway · 2013-11-07T15:01:06+00:00

Improve your confidence by going out there and meeting people etc.

Richoman25 · 2013-11-07T20:29:15+00:00

Affirmations with visualization every day can help create the 'you' that you want to be.

thredditsowaway · 2013-11-07T15:06:51+00:00

You should at least give meditation a try. But meditation doesn't magically kill your fears on its own. It's a tool to develop your ability to listen to yourself and understand where your fears/motivations/etc are coming from so that you become better able to dismiss the irrational feelings and keep you in a good frame. It keeps you from getting stuck in your head, but at the end of the day, you still have to take action to truly build confidence. Meditation just helps you recognize and dismiss the barriers you're giving yourself.

I see this link thrown around a lot... http://www.audiodharma.org/teacher/1/

A bit of a time investment, but it's very good... you can speed up the talks to about 2x to save time and still get the point of it.

sedditdee · 2013-11-07T19:46:44+00:00

GuruDev1000 wrote: The question says it all.

Yes, it does. They're both fads (when seen as "Mind over Matter") that come in and out of fashion on a regular basis.

You can visualize while you meditate (in fact, some meditation styles like Zen are designed to prevent this as a kind of "mind-wandering" or "monkey mind") or you can use visualization as a meditation practice (like the Tibetan use of complex mandala imagery).

As ProfessionalJerk noted, neither of them have anything to do with getting rid of fear or "ego", necessarily. There are plenty of arrogant jerks who meditate and visualize (not including Ahnold, of course) -- and many of them sell products and services that have built "mindfulness" into the biggest fad since Transcendental Meditation (which has been shown not to work very much better than any other form of relaxation training).

Whichever one you choose, do it consistently for a few years (meaning, on a daily basis without "speeding up" or skipping through any recording you're listening to, since that runs directly contrary to the purpose) and it will probably help you equally well.

rmbarnes · 2013-11-07T21:26:08+00:00

Confidence is the expectation of competence. Go out and do things, become competent in them, and confidence should follow.

Tenmagnet · 2013-11-07T22:42:23+00:00

I totally think that meditation is a great way to improve confidence, though it doesn't replace TAKING ACTION.

I made an inner game meditation page that has some meditation specifically for dating related anxieties, if you guys are interested. Usually you have to sign up for my mailing list to get this link, but whatever.

http://www.tenmagnet.com/inner-game-meditation/

PrettytiedupGNR · 2013-11-07T16:39:47+00:00

I've realized that pillows and imaginary girlfriends can be better than real girls.

Here's why:

Since I was young, I've taken long, soft slender pillows and cuddle and kissed them in bed, pretending they were pretty, slender blue eyed girls who love me.

I've realized why it's better than real girls. First of all, I get that same oxytocin rush. That's when you feel that warmth in the middle of your chest, the "love" feeling, well I get that very strongly.

I can make them be exactly as I like. I can make them look however I want, and make their personalities anyway I want. I can make my absolute perfect girl.

I can create perfect stories, perfect situations, and perfect memories, things that would never happen in the real world……Like last week, crystal and I went to fiji and had a lovely week there. We had our own private island, had coconut smoothies, and I ate her out on the beach for hours.

Best of all, I can make her love me as much as I love her. A real girl might not like what we're doing, or everything about me, but an imaginary girl (i call them spirit girls) agrees with me 100% of the time

Title	Question to all of you who believe in "Mind over Matter" - should I do meditation or visualisation to improve my confidence?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	9
Comments	28
Date	November 7, 2013 2:09 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1q3n49/question_to_all_of_you_who_believe_in_mind_over/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/question-to-all-of-you-who-believe-in-mind-over.1361185 https://theredarchive.com/post/1361185

Comments