Is approaching overrated?

puaCurveBall · 2014-04-19T06:51:15+00:00

where you could have 100% gotten them through other means.

how the fuck are you going to get them without talking to them?

how does this lead to anything but you being alone???

nwzy · 2014-04-19T04:07:04+00:00

You're in the city walking, you see someone you want to have a connection with walking in the other direction.

Other means in 3... 2... 1...

throwawaynodos · 2014-04-19T06:25:34+00:00

What are examples of other means? I'm a bit confused.

bk15dcx · 2014-04-19T08:14:38+00:00

Approaching is fine as long as it is sincere and with genuine interest.

If you are just playing the odds and approaching for approaching sake, you may hit 1 out of 50, but it probably only pays off 30 cents on the dollar.

Gamble at the tables where you know how to win.

Allen_Yuan · 2014-04-19T04:22:14+00:00

Here's why I think approaching should be a niche tactic as opposed to what you generically use.

It tells the girl relatively little about YOU. Approaches are contrived, at best you come off as good looking and fun. There are plenty of good looking and fun guys. It might also give the impression that you lack the personal honesty to be confident in every day situations and that you build it up for approaches. Even if your approach is successful, if you're hitting 'above your weight' in that moment she'll be let down later. What's the point of getting a date or whatever it is you want if you can't pull off confidence consistently right.
It's hard to get really attractive girls that way. You don't get any chance to stand out from the crowd, it gets exponentially more difficult to get a yes when it doesn't need to be that way.
It puts them on the spot. Even if they like you or have a crush on you or whatever it immediately increases their 'value' and decreases yours which makes a no trebly likely.
And here's the main reason I don't think newbies should start telling loads of women how beautiful they are and asking for a date, its because there is no good exit strategy. You're always going to look at least a little dumb (for noobs, probably a lot dumb) and its going to make things awkward with the girl the next time you meet. Almost no exceptions to this, unless she is that exceptional chica that just pops up in ten thousand.
And here's the main reason I think you shouldn't do it in general, it's because whats your end game? Relationship, friendship, casual sexy times? One of those three, because numbers and dates are useless. They're actually negative factors if you have the mindset that they DO have some inherent value beyond giving the girl a way to know you better, moles and all. And as for those 3 'goals' (I hate that word), you can only get the last from approaching.

Allen_Yuan · 2014-04-19T06:06:04+00:00

Jesus Christ you guys are irritating. 1 proper response and all the rest you guys can do is make stupid ass condescending insults.

Fuck this thread, there's no point to it.

Title	Is approaching overrated?
Author	Allen_Yuan
Upvotes	0
Comments	18
Date	April 19, 2014 3:51 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/23evf4/is_approaching_overrated/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-approaching-overrated.1369457 https://theredarchive.com/post/1369457

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