If I'm being honest I've read a lot of tips on here and know what I'm supposed to do, but have problems being mindful enough to implement it. Any ideas?

ThrowawayPUA · 2014-05-26T22:15:10+00:00

It is probably good that you forget all this stuff, in the moment. Focusing inward, thinking of routines and techniques, distracts you from the moment. Mindfulness means you are paying attention to what is happening before your eyes. You are not thinking about what could or should happen as a result of your actions. This PUA stuff is supposed to help you have better informed decisions on what actions to take, but this should not override your sense of presence in the actions you are taking.

Let me give an analogy. It is sort of like studying a foreign language. At first you have to translate everything in your head before you can say it. You're nervous and make lots of errors. But at some point, you start thinking in the foreign language. It just comes out naturally.

I remember a moment when I went out and was interacting with a girl. As usual, I went out with just one idea to implement, I studied it a little before going out, and I had to make a conscious effort to apply it. But this time, I was in a conversation and I did a little qualifier, and I thought "holy shit how did I know how to say that? It's the old BHRR routine and it worked perfectly." I didn't have to think about it, it just came out on its own.

You'll get there. It's easy to get familiar with the basic approach and initial interactions, once you get some practice and see the common patterns, and where you stumble and blow a set. But absolutely do not focus on pickup techniques during your sets, it keeps your focus inward and you become self-conscious and have poor interactions. Think about it later, in retrospect.

2014-05-26T21:35:35+00:00

keep on practicing. you can learn the theory to pretty much anything, being able to use it info well practically takes practice

*don't expect change overnight either

bl1y · 2014-05-26T21:58:48+00:00

The way a habit is broken is to notice the problem as soon as possible. In your case, you're noticing it after the fact. That's normal. Just keep trying to spot it in your behavior and soon you'll notice problems immediately after they happen, then you'll notice them as they're happening, and eventually you'll realize you're about to do something stupid before it happens and you can prevent it. You just have to keep plugging away at it.

EternalOptimist829 · 2014-05-26T23:13:38+00:00

If you're struggling with AA, set yourself a goal like talk to 3 girls you don't know a day. It helps to build social momentum and gives you a goal to work towards.

Stop worrying too much about theory, yes it's all great stuff, but whats the point in it if you're not approaching and enjoying life?

dj_bizarro · 2014-05-27T01:22:10+00:00

Damn some of these responses are long as shit.

Talk to everyone. Talk to fat girls or girls you wouldn't normally be interested in. Practice your approach on everybody you see and it will be much easier.

It sounds like you're putting the hot girls on a pedestal and messing your own head up.

FatGuyGamer · 2014-05-27T01:41:33+00:00

Just be natural and use the stuff you're talk when it comes to mind during the set. Just have fun out there, a lot of this stuff is just about being open with girls. It's not a cheat code you put in. So just be natural and be yourself and the tips you've heard on her, use them when you feel it's right but don't be driven to use them.

Merica911 · 2014-05-27T02:51:27+00:00

You might be talking to much because you might be nervous, and girls can sense that..

A good book to read is, "How to win friends & influence people"

DaveO1337 · 2014-05-26T21:44:19+00:00

I went on tinder for the first time yesterday and asked the first girl "why haven't we had sex yet?" I'm banging her this week.

You just need to learn /r/howtonotgiveafuck.

Nerves and apprehension all come from caring too much about the possible negative outcomes.

Just get in there and do it. It's always a numbers game.

Title	If I'm being honest I've read a lot of tips on here and know what I'm supposed to do, but have problems being mindful enough to implement it. Any ideas?
Author	EternalOptimist829
Upvotes	14
Comments	16
Date	May 26, 2014 9:19 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/26jvhd/if_im_being_honest_ive_read_a_lot_of_tips_on_here/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/if-im-being-honest-ive-read-a-lot-of-tips-on-here.1371340 https://theredarchive.com/post/1371340

Comments