Where some very shy girls are afraid to open up to you, and will go cold because of that very fact. This might be the very reason that one girl who was sort of demure and you could tell was into you, not very into meeting up in isolation. A girl I was with and really having a very sexy vibe going, just went cold on our date we planned.

She finally told me that she was afraid to open up to me, because she thought I was going to hurt her, I used my social savvy to get out of it and get another date, but I'm looking for some prevention for this from you guys' experiences. Because fixing that was honestly a big leap in skill for me, lots of the right things needed to be said and done. She told me when I asked her, "What do I need to do or say to make you feel comfortable opening up to me?" I played myself down a little, and she said, "What you're doing right now, having this talk with me. Other guys would never, ever do this."

Maybe you need to be more attainable around those girls, maybe more warm in your conversations. But to fix that kind of situation, I've seen by pulling it apart something like this:

  • Enter the situation calmly, not mad at all, even if you're so bitter you don't want to look at her.
  • Be warm in your conversation, talk softly, be close, and dig deep for the root of the problem, take clues that set you off track, explain to her how there might have been a misunderstanding. And don't be needy in the situation of if she's flaking on you, it could be that she actually doesn't like you all that much, in which case I told her "What's the big shakes about getting together? There's no problem if you aren't interested, I have options, and you can keep living your life if you want nothing to do with me that way." but you can't say this in an angry tone, like I just said, you need to have a soft, warm, voice.
  • Once you hit the problem, (e.g. "I'm really just very shy, and I have a hard time going out with people in public and opening up.") you disarm it, self deprecate, cover up your emotions with logic in the conversation (e.g. "I don't see how you're afraid to open up to me, what am I going to do to hurt you with what I know about you?" "I really genuinely do want to get to know you, let's do just that and see what happens. There are people out there who connect with the deepest things inside you, and when that happens, it's a beautiful thing.")
  • Let her know you're picky and the very reason you want to do this with her is because you like her enough to do so. Given you can already tell that she's very interested, like this girl, just scared.
  • Give her some sort of affectionate touch at the end after you part ways and get the date, maybe a kiss, or a very romantic hug. To set her at more ease.

Above all, show yourself to be charming and reliable, and necessarily safe. That will set her at ease to open up and move things forward with you.

Tried deciphering what I did for you guys if you run into this, hit me back with something you do to prevent this, or a question you have about the process. I come off as a mad scientist sometimes, kinda hard to make simplicity of high level stuff like this.