if you have a crush on a girl, should you start off as friends and work your way up or make your intentions clear from the beginning?

insidescoop84 · 2014-10-02T02:09:26+00:00

This is you putting yourself in the friend zone. It's one thing for you to develop feelings for a girl that's a friend, but if you have a crush on her, let her know from the get go. It will save you a lot of time.

If she's not interested, you can choose to be her friend after that knowing that you're almost guaranteed nothing will come of it.

Otherwise you can move on with your life.

It's bad enough that we create ideas in our heads of who people are just from looking at them and admiring them, but getting to know a person and still liking them, growing to like them even more, makes unreturned feelings all the more harder.

2014-10-02T02:08:30+00:00

The friendzone is a sticky place, I'm sure everyone knows, but something that helped me whenever I started in the pua society was that no matter what you have to establish some sort of friendship to get the ball rolling. The way you stay out of the friend zone is ultimately how much time you invest into said person and "kino". "Kino" helps create that comfort that also sub consciously establishes comfort with your touch and such. Those help the most but you also have to be able to pull the trigger when its time and not have anxiety like I did.

SnobbyEuropean · 2014-10-02T05:31:33+00:00

I think it's better to make your intentions clear. You don't have to say "I'm looking for a relationship/fwb". Lots of flirting and "kino" is enough.

2014-10-02T05:35:43+00:00

Imo you can still be friends and make your intentions clear at the same time. The key here is to know how to be flirty and have sexual body language (This doesn't mean dressing like a chipping dale) while hanging out. What not to do is to hide your intentions and disguise yourself as a friend.

Basically, you hang out in mutual social circles, you're flirty (with body language, sometimes with words and touch) and definitely give her more attention than other girls. I'd also recommend asking her out as soon as possible too.

Tremaparagon · 2014-10-02T14:46:19+00:00

It honestly depends on the girl. For many women who want mystery and excitement you are probably friendzoning yourself, but for others (generally those who are less casual about sex and relationships) the added camaraderie and comfort from a friendship may help them let you come closer and become something more. I say this because my current LTR started as friends through classes and because of never feeling like strangers we've come a long way fast. Of course if you're looking at bar/club scene instead that's just not going to work that way, I would say don't hide intentions.

Transmigratory · 2014-10-02T16:11:48+00:00

If you want to have some rapport before escalating, then keep the flirty vibes on, so as to keep you out of the friend zone.

psyocal · 2014-10-03T00:40:28+00:00

Save yourself the time and be forward from the beginning. Most people who have a 'crush' on a girl will fantasize about a relationship with her. They will become attached to a false reality that they've constructed in their own mind. They will enjoy hanging out with the person without giving any notion of being attracted to them because they're afraid of losing this person. How can you be afraid of losing something you don't have?

moogatrice · 2014-10-02T01:59:21+00:00

I would personally let her know from the start that you're interested in her. If she's not interested, you'll know right from the start.

user1F · 2014-10-02T02:45:26+00:00

For me, the friend approach has had good results. Sometimes you get friendzoned, but hey you still get a friend out of the deal. Sometimes you get more.

LogicManifesto · 2014-10-02T04:59:50+00:00

Pretty sure the first rule of this reddit is to not ask about one specific girl...

EliahtheMessiah · 2014-10-02T07:36:21+00:00

No you make your intentions clear in the very first words you ever speak to her. Then get to know her - then have sex with her - then remove all contact for a week - then whatever you want to do.

Title	if you have a crush on a girl, should you start off as friends and work your way up or make your intentions clear from the beginning?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	22
Comments	17
Date	October 2, 2014 1:57 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2i1vsg/if_you_have_a_crush_on_a_girl_should_you_start/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/if-you-have-a-crush-on-a-girl-should-you-start-off.1377404 https://theredarchive.com/post/1377404

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