Been working on my inner game, looks, etc, but I think my Achilles' heel is...

txroller · 2014-10-28T00:42:20+00:00

have a plan on what to say. I would approach her directly and have something specific in mind to say. Let her then decide how to respond maybe she'll introduce you or maybe not who the f cares

BrinksNY · 2014-10-28T00:39:05+00:00

What do you think you're afraid of?

thebrightshadow12 · 2014-10-28T00:41:43+00:00

I too had this issue for a long time. Basically you need to go into a "fuckit" mentality. Be confident, truly confident. This isn't saying, "I'm going to go over there and get her number." it is instead, "I'm going to go over there and talk to her and try to get her number. If I pull it off, great, fucking wonderful. If not aw well I'm still going to be fine."

ThrowawayPUA · 2014-10-28T00:51:26+00:00

I am going to try to pretend this isn't a question about a specific girl, because those are off topic in seddit. We are here to learn general techniques and general ideas about seduction to apply to all women.

the moment she comes into view, is as if my fucking brain goes into Auto-chicken-pilot and avoid her. This only happens with girls I'm interested in.

You are feeling excitement and sexual attraction. It can be hard to calm your nerves in this situation, but you will have to get used to it. Everyone feels nerves, but nobody ever died from them. If you put more pressure on yourself, it can overload your systems as anxiety. Take the pressure off yourself. Just try to say hello and have no expectations more than that. If a woman likes you, she will help you through the awkward bits of your conversation. She wants men to feel comfortable with her. That is where it all starts. So start at the beginning: say hello.

The_leaking_nudist · 2014-10-28T00:51:54+00:00

Well the best way to beat it is to just do it and see how you go. Have a plan of one or two things to talk about and keep it quick. If it fizzles out say "I better get going, catch ya later hopefully" smile your ass off and walk proud. If you need practice, try ask a couple people for a movie idea or something like that. It might catch them by surprise but it takes a bit of pressure off the approach. Practice makes perfect.

ON_3 · 2014-10-28T02:59:53+00:00

Make a quick approach and be like "hey (super cute girl you like), (Insert your line here)...then quickly introduce yourself to her friend, dont ignore her friend.

Lindofrindo · 2014-10-28T14:50:14+00:00

I know exactly how you feel when you see her. I often feel nervous like this when I meet a girl im dating or am interested in on school/other situations spontaniusley, even though im completely confident hanging out with them in general. It's just something about meeting them when you are not prepared and you dont quite know how to act and you end up acting nervous. Im guessing this behaviour is actually more in your head. At list it is for me. you are thinking of seeing her in the hallway, you are afraid of seeing her, you feel you need to do something when you meet her, BAM you see her and you can't do shit. Chill.

You should watch this ted talk about making stress your friend if you havent already!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcGyVTAoXEU It talks about how stress is good for you. The adrenaline prepares you for a situation and sharps your mind. No matter how good you are, you will allways feel nervous in interactions with girls from time to time. It's what you do with and handle these nerves that seperates a good interaction from a bad one. If you let the nerves crush, they will crush you.

You say in the comments you already have her number? How did u get it? What is stopping you from sending "Hey XXX, lets grab a coffee after school tomorrow :)" or something. A month from your first interaction/you getting her number is extremely long if you havent had any contact with her what so ever on school. Have you not even smiled and said hello if you have walked past her? However, she might still be curious at you but you gotta act now. You shouldn't go on like this for another couple months and suddenly ask her out of the blue.

I've actually been in a very similar situation recently. I've recently been on 2 dates with this girl that I got briefly introduced to at school. I knew from the start I wanted to get this girl on a date. She seemed pretty cool. I smiled to her in the hallways when if I saw her and talked a very tiny bit with her if I saw her with my friend a few times. I guess almost a month went past before I got her number. I was wondering a bit how to approach the suggestion of a date. Getting numbers on school/daily is pretty new for me. One day I saw her by the closets alone. She's new in town so I joked around with how she needed a "guide" and that I was going to be her guide in the city. I gave her my phone and said she should write in her number so we could hangout later that week. Felt awesome to take action and not try to gradually speak more and more with her and being an akward chode like guys that dont know pickup do.

The reason this worked for me, even though it was a pretty long time after I first got introduced to her, is the first impression I made on her. I instanly started flirting by making fun of her dialect, etc. But im guessing you already did this because you said you felt attraction from her part? Ofcourse, I was lucky she was alone and it made it a lot easier for me but you need to make the invitation no pressure like it's something completely natural for you to ask. You invite new interesting people to hang out and you get their number. People love to meet new people. That is not weird. Also, you would be surprised to see how her friends pretty much dissapear and let you do your thing if you are sending out the right vibes. There's no reason it shouldn't be possible for you inviting her out on a date when her friends are there.

Unfortunately this girl I was talking about is not investing enough after I proposed to watch a movie at my place, but I got the classic "I cant, blablabla maybe another time :)". This was the 2nd time I had been proposing a movie and I wanted to take things to the next level. Another coffee would be boring as hell for me. I texted her a couple days later "Hey XXX, now its your turn to propose a day to hang out ;)" so she can't hide behind an excuse and causes her to need to take part in the investing. I thought this was a pretty good text to send, but I would like your opinions on this. No response, so next girl! But anyway this is not the point here :D

Conclusion

Judging from your post this is bothering you and it will only get worse if you still walk around thinking that this girl is important. Propose a coffee over text or preferably verbally if you see her on school the next couple of days. If she says she can't and are not suggesting another day or don't respond you then whatever. She is not worth your time. Her loss. You are the price. You don't have to think of her and let it bother you no more. Next girl!

PS: You dont need a plan on what to say. Just ask her how her day has been/what she's doing/what subjects she's had today etc... This is more than enough and will be your "plan". Planning anything more on how the conversation will play out/what to respond etc will only fuck you up and never works. You never know how a conversation will go.

Damn, this got longer than I expected. Homework calls now. Fuck... Good luck bro and give us an update later how it went!

EDIT : Spelling.

accountingdouche · 2014-10-28T02:20:53+00:00

Bra look here, I'm actually not that good looking..heck if a cute girl would see my pic she wouldn't exactly be blown away. But here's the deal, I lie to myself into thinking that I look like George Clooney and any bish on campus is fair game (unless she's got a bf, I don't fuck with bishes with bfs)

Looks; George Clooney Confidence; 10/10 Swag; 110% Cheers

Title	Been working on my inner game, looks, etc, but I think my Achilles' heel is...
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	2
Comments	22
Date	October 28, 2014 12:34 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2kiqpr/been_working_on_my_inner_game_looks_etc_but_i/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/been-working-on-my-inner-game-looks-etc-but-i.1378689 https://theredarchive.com/post/1378689

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