Hey Seddit

Haven’t done one of these in a while. I met this girl off tinder (turns out we had met before and she remembered me – good sign). We texted for a few weeks because she had exams and I was out of town. I initially kept everything very light hearted and had some awesome banter going on (usually what happens when I’m not really invested in the situation and outcome independent).

I try a few times to get her out for drinks but her schedule was fairly tight, but she let me know she definitely wanted to. I went out of town for a week and was busy doing my own thing so I didn’t talk to her for 4-5 days, at which point she texted me asking how the trip was going. By this time the joking banter was also matched with flirting on both ends. The whole time I made sure not to be too available or blow up her phone too much. I would text other girls I knew in order not to keep her on my mind for too often (even though I was starting to get that pesky inner dialogue telling me I liked this one).

When I got back into town I said lets grab drinks this week and she seemed enthusiastic. We set it up for a Thursday. Within 24 hours of scheduling she asked if we could switch it to Wednesday instead (I had originally said I was free both and told her to pick which one). I was worried about a potential flake, but there was still a day and a half before the date so I appreciated her asking so far in advance and moved on (turns out she had a job interview for Thursday so it ended up being a legit reason).

Day of the date comes. I’m pretty excited because this gal seems awesome. I talk some sense into myself saying “this is just a girl, you don’t know anything about her, there are millions more like her if it ends up being a dud, just go out and enjoy her company and see what happens”. I refrain from needily asking if we are still on. I assume attraction and know she’s looking forward to being out on a date with me, so I send her a joke text about how I got injured at hockey and she should bring me a wheelchair and bedpan for the date (works at a hospital). She ate this up and was eagerly asking what the plan was, and saying she just needed a bit more time to get ready. I told her perfect, because my McDonalds coupons were only valid after 7 pm (just an example of the type of banter we had going for weeks).

I pick her up. I hug her when she gets into my car and from the first 10 seconds of the conversation we hit it off. We went for drinks at a cool lounge nearby. Sat up at the bar side my side. Our legs would brush together, I would place my hand on her arm / shoulder when laughing at her jokes. Sitting very close together I would turn my body to face hers and try to make the best eye contact I could. Normally I am an eye contact machine and the girl is always the first one to break it off but this girl’s big anime eyes rattled me, so I wish I could have done better in this dept.

After 2 drinks each (I paid without a second thought) we walk across the street to a pub and play 3 games of pool. I’m a pretty good player, but was able to pull off “letting” her win 2 games by not having quite as much attention to detail, so that my shots would just barely miss. And then scratch on the 8 ball. But at the same time I was able to pull off one of the trick shots of my life, she was pretty impressed. Worked out well cause I got to pretend to be competitive and say “Nooooooooo you beat me!!” all while laughing and went and hugged her after she won.

During our games I would sometimes stop for 5 minutes and we would dive a bit deeper into our up bringing, travel stories, school, work, and other passions. She seemed fascinated by everything I had to say and would ask question after question. She would make efforts to be physical with me as well. When I was struggling to read my watch (black faced watch in a dimly lit room) she would grab my hand and tilt the watch towards her to “help me tell time”. She would also playful touch my arm when laughing. Throughout our conversations I would lay ground work for spending more time together. For example she would talk about skinning a fish and I would say “you’ll have to teach me that!” or when she would ask details about a show I liked I would say “Ill show you it sometime” (just assuming we will be spending more time together). This framework began from our early texts, when I joked how we were going to travel the world together. She would eat this up and say we were going to have a full scrapbook before we even got to our first date.

Its after 11 pm on a weeknight and we both have school/work early in the morning. Getting laid was not on my agenda (though I did have my place spotless in case she invited herself over). But she said she needed to get to sleep at some point and I did as well. So I drove her home. I can’t stress this enough…we could have talked till 5 in the morning we hit it off so well (in my mind). When I dropped her off I hugged her goodnight (I usually don’t kiss on the first date if I’m not trying to bed them). But when we hugged I noticed her cheeks brushed right up against mine. This could be coincidence, but my friend pointed out that if she wasn’t interested she wouldn’t have let it get that close. I tend to agree, that girls are very aware of what they are doing in these scenarios.

I waited until the next day to let her know I had a great time and used an inside joke from the night before to bring it up. She laughed and said that she did too and we sent one more message each and I took till the following day (Friday) to get back to her.

We texted a lot Friday. I went out with my brother and got drunk. I kept texting her. A lot. I woke up Saturday seeing she had sent me a goodnight text at 1 am and I answered it with a nonsensical goodnight text at 3 am. Unnghhh.

The banter that was so great before was a little more awkward (because I was drunk and couldn’t pick up on cues the way I usually can) and not only that. But I was WAYYYYY too available for her! I was supposed to be out on a Friday night having fun with my brother and instead I was texting her most of the night! The worst part is, I had a great night and had tons of female attention at the bar, so its not like I needed to text her..I wanted to. She even made a joking comment about me texting her when I’m out having fun at the bar that came across in retrospect as “why are you texting me when you should be enjoying your night?”.

Anyways that was 4 days ago. I’ve left her alone since then (not without over analyzing every single text to excruciating detail). I don’t think I’ve ruined it but I definitely didn’t do myself any favors. I’m going to text her today or tomorrow with something funny to get the momentum rolling again then quickly try to schedule a second date. Struggling to maintain outcome independence but I feel it's a losing battle.

Anywho that’s about it. What do you all think of my game? Any pointers for next time?

TL:DR – 3 weeks of great text banter, great chemistry on first date, followed by some awkward drunk texting. Smartening up moving forward