The paradox- Seddit has killed my drive to date women

2015-07-21T19:45:58+00:00

I want seddit to tell me.. whats wrong with me

Nothing my friend. You are just maturing and growing up. You're refining your tastes.

Hot, young, immature, mindless women won't be enough now. You have everything to start getting involved with hot, interesting, more mature (as of mindset) women.

recyclablebantha · 2015-07-22T01:35:19+00:00

Few months ago- I tinder dated a really hot 10/10......She came straight to my place....craving my d......I broke it off. I want seddit to tell me.. whats wrong with me. the younger me used to be craving sex.. and now that its on a plate in front of me I told her to leave?

You don't need us. You already told us the answer above in your Background. You distinctly said:

I'm not a wild kind of guy, I would prefer dating and getting to know girls than just one night stands of mindless fucking.

......so why then would you be upset that you weren't excited about mindlessly fucking a girl who's starting up her "wild" phase? Eh? This girl sounds like the anti-thesis of what you want.

You seem to be very clear about what you want. And yet you seem to think that you shouldn't want it. You seem to want stability. Then you whine about not wanting instability. Listen to yourself, man. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. You are actually being consistent with your values. Good on you!

I approached a group 2 girls, 2 guys that were just leaving the gym. And hell, it went fucking good for a first time. I disarmed the two guys, and actually we really hit it off (probably more so than with the girls) and I got the number from the girl I was initially interested in (HB7).

Quick note: This shit isn't really a competition. If you offer value to people, often they'll accept it. So I'd say it's not so much that you "disarmed" the guys, as you treated them like people and they responded positively.

We went on a date, I bounced her around, went for some food , some drinks. Hit it off.. and BAM. I lost interest for some reason.. I would rather go to the gym than meet up with her. I felt like she would be messing up my routine.

Something didn't match up. It happens. Sometimes you need to date before you find this out, and sometimes you know right away. I suspect that you might have already known that things didn't match up BEFORE you number closed her at the initial meeting, but you pushed yourself to number close anyway because you thought you needed to. And then you forced yourself to go on the date and got wrapped up in the new, excitement of being with a new person.

But it wore off quickly and left you with the initial feeling you ALREADY knew at the beginning.

I got a FB message from both of them (at separate times).. asking if I would like to go for a drink some time. I know the old me wouldve gone for it. But instead.. I was flattered, but I turned them both down. I don't really know why. Maybe its the mentality of abundance.. Or maybe I don't want any relationships with girls right now.

There you go. If you don't want a relationship, you don't want it. You're getting what you want.

Seddit, I'm scared- I'm scared all this focus on myself, and de-valuation of others, this mentality of abundance. I'm scared if I have lost interest in women. I'm afraid that I won't let another woman into my life again, because they're seen as a hindrance. It feels like I've come here, and learnt to improve myself and the art of seduction. But once I have got it, I don't really want to use it anymore. Is seddit a community that strives for its only demise?

It doesn't quite seem that you've "lost interest in women."

It's more like you reject the "Rockstar" lifestyle aspect of seduction, not women as a whole. Sounds like you should just chill out and find your center because you've lost it. You seem to be trying to go for something more substantial and real in a relationship, but you're accidentally screening out all girls that would want that, and you're letting in all these girls that would be great for a fling and then wondering why you don't want them.

At some points after coming to seddit I pretended to be "alpha".....But now? I cringe at even thinking about it. I feel like I'm not pretending to be alpha, because I am an alpha, Im not pretending to be busy, I am busy.

So you're alpha. What's to say? Being it, is not the same as pretending. :)

2015-07-22T00:08:21+00:00

obsessed with lifting

refusing to have sex with girls for no reason

I'm sorry to tell you this, but I think you've become a full blown /fit/izen. I don't know how else to explain it. /s

Turlast · 2015-07-21T19:07:01+00:00

I think it has more to do with you having so many girls to date that's making you scared. The example with the model just sounds like self-sabotage to me. You've always wished you had these things in the past, but now that you have them, your previous reality is shattered. You're scared that you won't know how to act with this new ability. It's a gift. Something most men would love to have. Embrace it and stop acting as if it's a bad thing.

You should also stop looking at women as if they're hindrance. I just think you're at a place where you feel like you have power but no idea what to do with it. Just chill. Women are cool, bro. They love sex and they love attractive men like yourself. You sound like you have a lot going on, so just focus on bringing women into your world and showing them the time of their life. Have fun with them and stop taking stuff so seriously.

SilverCurve · 2015-07-21T22:48:44+00:00

I think what you are going through is perfectly normal. When a person do anything, he goes through 4 stages: - Stage 1: Knows nothing - Stage 2: Learn. Mimic. Follow. - Stage 3: Commit. Compete. Make the best out of his skills. - Stage 4: Slow down. Look for legacy.

For reference, read these 2 articles: http://markmanson.net/four-stages-of-life http://greedygoblin.blogspot.com/p/from-m-to-rational-play-to-win.html

At a personal level, your seduction skill might be at stage 4. You have discovered your potentials, now you want to make a difference. Perhaps, deep inside, you're looking for more meaningful relationship rather than simply hooking up?

I_AM_BISON · 2015-07-21T19:10:05+00:00

Nah Son. Analyze your week areas, and transcend alpha.
Be the Omega- Apply your learnings.

Focus on being a great human being. Find someone you can have exactly this conversation with. Open yourself up, let down your alpha, and focus on personality improvement.

neeners9223 · 2015-07-21T20:04:37+00:00

This could be the fact that you've now acquired these skills from Seddit and now that you've applied them and put them to work with success its become all too normal for you. For example most men's fantasies if they get to experience them, either lose interest or the fantasy in their head was way better than what actually happened. In my opinion, youre telling yourself that you don't want to meet up with these girls or have sex with them because these opportunities didn't come up as often in the past, it's too familiar now. I agree with most of the comments here, you shouldn't stress or worry about the fact that its not as exciting to you anymore, embrace the fact that you've become good at it and move on to fixing other weaknesses about yourself.

2015-07-22T02:40:51+00:00

Stop thinking of women as a price. When you really want something you work hard for it, you feel you deserve it, but when it's given to you with no effort on your part you become sketchy and paranoid about it.

Just think of women as nice people that want to be friends, don't think of them as girls that want to fuck you, because you might go on the defensive and feel like they think you're a piece of meat or that they must be that way with other guys too; therefore, they lose value in your eyes. You're essentially activating your anti-slut (stud) defense.

The best quality you can have is self-awareness in all aspects of life: what is wrong here, and why is it wrong.

I myself didn't like it when girls flirted with me in a sexual manner first, I still don't if she's acting really "slutty", I might go as far as flat out reject them, ignore them, or pretend I'm oblivious to their flirting even if they're really hot. Why is that? Well, I'm self aware enough to know that this comes from me not getting girls' attention when I was in high school as I was not cute when young. Now that I'm a hot Puerto Rican papi, I feel resentment towards flirty women because I wanted their attention when I was young and insecure, now that I've grown, been around the world and have matured eons psychologically, i don't give a fuck.

The way I solve this issue is to think of them as people that want to be friends, you wouldn't reject or ignore someone that wants to be your friend, right? :(

I'm a firm believer of the concept of working towards your future self always, what I mean by that is that even though I might not be horny today, my future self could be; therefore, I should always try to set him up with something so that he/myself can have a good time later. Basically, the fact that I'm not hungry today doesn't mean I'm gonna throw away the food, no, I'm just gonna put it in the fridge, then when I'm hungry, I'll put in the microwave.

Networking is the key word here too, just because you won't fuck them it doesn't mean they're useless to you, everyone's got something to offer, something you can learn from them.

urban_maelstrom · 2015-07-21T23:25:26+00:00

Hey man i'd recommend reading Book of Pook. The guy who it is based on attained almost the same level you're on right now and well he describes how to deal with it and all that good stuff. Link to book (you can skim through it online or dwnld it and take your time checking it out

hamburglin · 2015-07-21T23:36:14+00:00

Sounds to me like you are becoming so inwardly focused you are forgetting what you were trying to achieve in the first place. It very well may have changed in the time you've spent working on yourself.

bDsmDom · 2015-07-22T00:09:25+00:00

Is because you've tried to reduce a human being into a small, easy to handle size, but there's much more to women than you'll ever read here

2015-07-22T00:48:20+00:00

When you know you can get many, you only want a few. That's just the way it works and you can't control your interest. You'll find a girl you genuinely want in due time. Don't rush anything and keep doing you.

2015-07-22T04:27:40+00:00

Massive amounts of self sabotage and you're trying to rationalize it away.

Go lift heavy for three weeks don't touch a fucking drop of alcohol, weed or anything, just eat cleaner than a bottle of clorox. Then next time you're with a hot chick pop a god damn viagra and fuck her brains out.

Then your problem will be solved possibly after banging a second chick soon after the first.

Source I had the same issue

diego-fer · 2015-07-22T12:46:36+00:00

Thanks for sharing, I really like your path.

I don't think there is anything wrong in the way you are acting. I think that your shift could happen for a lot of different reasons, maybe you surpass that phase where you had to act alpha to get the girls, now you are capable of getting the girl and there are more important things to you than just fucking every girl.

Is it possible to integrate who you where with who you are?... I mean maybe you are looking for a more serious relationship, or maybe you understand that your time is valuable and you won't expend it in something that is not worth it.

Anyway best wishes.

Morokweng · 2015-07-21T19:09:04+00:00

Is it really a lack of interest or is it a fear of success? Or are you ashamed of your sexuality or do you feel unworthy of having your needs met? Perhaps you're putting women on a pedestal and you're afraid to let them get close. Even scoring a woman as a '10/10' is a subtle way of putting her on a pedestal.

A lot of guys who turn to pickup often have a lot of unresolved issues that they've just slapped a thin veneer of game on top of.

Rayjaysdick · 2015-07-21T20:06:51+00:00

I asked her how she could just go to a strangers house and just fuck them

Wow you actually wanna go through with this? You fucking whore, can't believe this shit.

Title	The paradox- Seddit has killed my drive to date women
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	38
Comments	35
Date	July 21, 2015 6:33 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3e3nvc/the_paradox_seddit_has_killed_my_drive_to_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/the-paradox-seddit-has-killed-my-drive-to-date.1391364 https://theredarchive.com/post/1391364

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