Where does your confidence stem from?

zuppy321 · 2015-08-02T16:39:17+00:00

Personally for me my confidence comes from knowing that everything in life I will do well in as long as I put in enough effort and focus. However, if I do fail or I'm not good as I thought I was to be I would appreciate the other good qualities and skill I have.

EpictetustheWise · 2015-08-02T14:50:30+00:00

Nothing 'makes' me feel confident, I simply am confident because I exist as a man. This comes from acceptance of yourself and your place in the universe and unlike most people's definition of confidence is not based on external stimuli.

Any time confidence is based on something external (the environment, how a girl reacts to you, alcohol/drugs) it is a tenuous boost at best. After all, if something goes wrong (a negative reaction from a female) your confidence plummets, as if you are somehow less of a person because some random disliked you for whatever arbitrary reason. It's like building on shitty foundation, eventually it's going to collapse.

Now, this type of confidence isn't cocky or arrogant. It is simply a belief that you are all you need to be as a man. You don't have to 'become' anything, you already 'are'. It is also not a confidence that you will be successful, just that you have the necessary tools to take action and accept whatever outcome may come to pass.

In terms of interaction with women, this belief is not that you can get a positive reaction, phone number, make out, sex with any woman you approach (that's delusion)...it is a belief that fundamentally says that you are a man and she is a woman and nature has endowed you both with the tools necessary to make something happen. The outcome is irrelevant to who you are at your very core as a person because the outcome (positive or negative) is based on a myriad of variables which you have little control over (they can be influenced by your presentation and actions but never controlled completely). Accept yourself, let go of any semblance or idea that you have total control, and take action. I wrote a whole book about it here (it'll be free to download tomorrow and Tuesday, once Amazon updates): http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00XB2I8NU?*Version*=1&*entries*=0

myriad_truths · 2015-08-03T01:11:24+00:00

Read "The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem" by Nathaniel Branden. It's a very insightful book that strays away from pseudo-psychology and helped me pick myself up after a break-up.

Probably the most important part was that happiness and success are natural conditions and both unhappiness and failure are temporary aberrations.

ZephyrBluu · 2015-08-02T07:55:56+00:00

I just think of my life, values, personality, moral code. Stuff like that. If I ever forget what an awesome person I am, I go back to thinking about that stuff :). For me it was easy to become confident in myself, I don't know why

CrushHazard · 2015-08-02T08:07:16+00:00

Past successes. I have never been able to fake confidence. Besides that, I have serious doubts that faking confidence leads to anything good.

You don't need confidence to succeed with women. You do need to be laid back, a good listener, non-judgmental, fun, interesting, etc. but you can be all of those things without being confident! Let the confidence come naturally. Don't try to fake it.

Title	Where does your confidence stem from?
Author	rustyoldtimer
Upvotes	4
Comments	11
Date	August 2, 2015 6:57 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3fhll2/where_does_your_confidence_stem_from/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/where-does-your-confidence-stem-from.1391930 https://theredarchive.com/post/1391930

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