I can't f*** new girls, or any girl, the first time !!

bexpert · 2015-08-03T19:42:18+00:00

It's not because of "too much porn" you twat, it's because you likely have anxiety issues which are more or less alleviated once you are already comfortable with the girl. So your choices are to either see a therapist or just quit trying to fuck on the first date and wait until you both really trust each other like society has told the girl she should be doing in the first place.

Morokweng · 2015-08-03T21:31:07+00:00

Nobody ever wants to hear it, but it is the most likely reason is psychological and you should see someone.

You should also lay off the porn as well

Read this it might help. Here's a relevant part.

Quanginni · 2015-08-04T00:00:42+00:00

Are you drunk? Sometimes thats the issue.

powerslave118 · 2015-08-03T21:26:00+00:00

I kind of have this too. It's usually just the first time though, i'm fine after that.

I think it's that feeling of not knowing what to expect. You aren't really nervous, but you're thinking about what to do etc.

First sex is worst sex.

BigGreekMike · 2015-08-03T22:15:12+00:00

If you suspect porn, take time away from it and see if it works. If so, great. If not, keep analyzing. Not everyone is the same.

xzak · 2015-08-03T22:54:09+00:00

Giving up porn definately helps.

gobbledy_gooker · 2015-08-03T23:25:08+00:00

Masturbate less. Your little trooper will be ready to open fire, eagerly. You might bust really quick, but that's better than performance failure.

2015-08-04T00:13:02+00:00

I recommend checking a sub-reddit called r/nofap. It could be a combination of few things - Porn Induced erectile dysfunction.Or it could be also you are very nervous (trust me it happens to all of us).

When we try hard, sex becomes a chore and erections become an issues. But when there is natural chemistry- you don't have to try and you are going with the flow.

Badgraphics · 2015-08-03T22:31:59+00:00

Uh... idk, i smoke pot and that gets me in a mental state.. so ive had times where I'm getting blown, stand up and go limp almost right away. Then i cant perform because im thinking about it too much... it really is only whenever i worry about going limp that i go limp. Otherwise .. you know. . Im doin it. The takeaway is to find a way not to worry about it.

maybeyourgranddaddy · 2015-08-04T00:48:19+00:00

I've had this problem too and considered making a post asking about it like you have. It's semi normal, it happens to me literally every time with a new girl. I can't get hard the first time but give me a few hours and we'll be fucking like animals. I've talked to a couple of mates about it and it has happenes to them too. But now I've started taking testosterone boosters (natural, legal stuff from a supplement store), cycle that on and off for a few weeks at a time and that fixed me! There is a slight downside but. Libido of a 15 yr old, getting an erection at the slightest touch or breeze haha. But that's better than no erection at all right?

The_Turbinator · 2015-08-04T02:14:49+00:00

It is caused by performance anxiety. It is like a self fulfilling prophecy. You are scared that because of your past experience that you will not be able to perform when with the next girl, and because of that the next time you have sex you are concentrating REALLY HARD on having an erection. Now that in of itself causes you to become impotent and not get an erection. Now you have a negative feedback loop on your hands that is growing exponentially. Every time you have sex after that you are even more scared, henceforth causing an even weaker erection.

The only way to fix it is to break the loop. Take a tiny dose of Viagra or Cialis. Now you don't need a whole dose because you can have erections normally - your penis is not broken - your state of mind is. And you will have erections as hard as Hercules's abdominals. Once you break this cycle you will be able to have rock hard erection with a new girl the first time - every time, without having to use pills.

Ask me how I know.

2015-08-04T05:42:01+00:00

This is a better question for /r/sex . That being said, check the FAQ there:

https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/wiki/index#wiki_erection_issues

This apparently is fairly common for men. I do get these issues, and it seems to generally be due to anxiety.

2015-08-04T08:28:16+00:00

It's just in your head. Stop watching porn that'll fix it.

Otherwise, take some cialis next time. There is 100% chance it will work. Decrease the dosage each time and you'll be good to go without it within a few women.

I also have had this problem when I was younger. I would be rock hard for like 30 minutes while we build up to sex slowly. Then when her clothes are off and shes wet I would get soft. I would just go down on her and go crazy till I got hard again. But honestly it was annoying and disruptive to the sex sometimes.

Even now sex is always better the 2nd or 3rd time. You have to get to know a girls body before you can completely please her and visa versa.

c00kiecutter · 2015-08-04T11:34:10+00:00

Quickly read through the comments and they seem kinda unhelpful.

I suggest you try to conditition yourself. For example if you always masturbate exactly in the same spot and the same way, then you will learn to easily get an erection and cum doing that. If you now need to get an erection in a whole different place, in a different position, with a new girl your body hasn't learned to do that consistently.

Suggestions:

Try masturbating in different places, thinking about real-world scenarios.
If you have something like a fav. porn scene, watch it every now and then and really make a connection in your mind between getting an erection and the image of the porn scene. Then when you need to get an erection, think about this scene.

Until you consistently get an erection with new girls. Then it'll just work because it's routine (most of the time). It's always good to have a back up trick (when you're really drunk or something).

oyvkor · 2015-08-04T17:35:31+00:00

It's not porn! But maybe don't jerk off the day you have a date if you think it's the problem. I want to say to you that it's all in your head, and the only way to get around it is practicing and learn the magic of making a one night stand/the first time with a girl real for yourself. With "real" I mean that you have to let the same feelings flow in your head the first time your with a girl, as they did the 5th time you fucked a girl you love. The second you learn to make it real with who ever, you are gold, so learn it sooner rather than later. That's the key I.M.H.O

2015-08-03T20:49:09+00:00

It's probably porn if you have to ask.

2015-08-04T03:37:24+00:00

Stop watching unrealistic porn? Stick to the amateur shit if you can't quit it.

_groundcontrol · 2015-08-03T21:10:36+00:00

Jesus man, if you have a ED dont ask a internet forum or advice.

Title	I can't f*** new girls, or any girl, the first time !!
Author	19yomed
Upvotes	33
Comments	23
Date	August 3, 2015 7:14 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3fnjs9/i_cant_f_new_girls_or_any_girl_the_first_time/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-cant-f-new-girls-or-any-girl-the-first-time.1392014 https://theredarchive.com/post/1392014

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