What is a good first message to send?

SenorHatorade · 2015-08-05T06:44:01+00:00

Guys on the internet are going to try telling you one hundred one liners to get a response.

Truthfully, it all starts with your profile. If you have a shitty profile, it rarely matters what you say in the opener. If you have a profile that attracts her, it rarely matters what you say in the opener. Look to your profile first and foremost.

If she's beautiful, her inbox is flooded with great and horrible openers. Most beautiful women will only respond to the best candidates, not the best openers.

I only received 5 or 6 messages from women a day when I did online dating, but for a guy that's very good. Even with 5 or 6, I only responded based on their profile and pictures. If I didn't think they were compatible, I didn't bother responding, regardless of how clever the opener was. Now picture that but with 40 messages a day. That's what a woman is filtering through.

This is all general but by and large true and should lend insight into what she's thinking.

If you can't figure out what to put on your profile, shoot me a PM.

No_Disputin_Rasputin · 2015-08-05T06:43:03+00:00

Fuck normal, send this: If you were an elephant and I was an elephant, id smash my enormous tusks into all the other elephants to establish my dominance in the herd, then I'd chat you up.

Morokweng · 2015-08-05T10:01:12+00:00

The correct way to send a message in online dating is to navigate to your account settings, find the option that lets you delete your account, use it, and then go outside and approach girls.

Seduction is about behaviour, personality, confidence, charm, wit, humor. Online dating is about profile pictures and cold text. You are giving up the use of your most powerful assets when you choose online dating. All while choosing to compete on an even footing with every frustrated chump too scared to talk to a girl in real life, but not scared of sending the same copy-pasted spam message to everthing on that site with a vagina from the safety of his keyboard.

No matter how good a message you send it will inevitably be buried under 20 others. Even the most beautiful woman won't get approached in real life even a fraction as much as the most homely of girls gets messaged online. But then you do get a girl to respond to you, have fun wondering if/when she's going to randomly stop replying to you. Because you're just some text on a website to her, you haven't met her, or been able to make any kind of impression on her, she has no real reason to respond to any of your messages or even show up if you do arrange a date.

And what's the goal of online dating? To facilitate you meeting girls in real life. So simply by choosing to talk to girls in real life you eliminate a vast chunk of shitty completion you take a quicker and more direct path to your goal, and you make a far bigger impression on any girl that you do choose to talk to than you would have with even the best online message.

Online dating is a crutch, a cop-out, and its shit in every possible way for you, and the only real reason you'd choose to do it is if you're scared to approach girls in real life.

baggyizzle · 2015-08-05T06:55:56+00:00

I have the most luck with structuring a simple message with something we spoke about. If she tells you what she does for a job or something before you number close use that. E.G if shes a nurse Id say something like "Hey Jess, hows it going? When your not trying to save lives want to grab a drink? Baggyizzle" Not a big fan of one liners in the first text.

2015-08-05T17:18:53+00:00

Girl here: Be interesting and reasonably brief. Talk interestingly and briefly about something in her profile, to show you read it, not (or in addition to) her pics. A bit like pickup, just open interestingly. It doesn't have to be stellar, but maybe a little more interesting than in pickup.

I agree that your profile is important, but it is not more important than the message. She won't check your profile if the message is too lame. Also, an impressive profile doesn't require a lot of text.

You may think you are struggling to compete, but most of the messages girls get are dumber than rocks.

The big disadvantage with online dating, however, is that looks matter a lot. Much more than in person. Having good pics helps. The okcupid blog has a good post on what pics work. If this isn't possible or isn't enough, then stick to meeting in person. Fewer weird surprises anyway!

ETA: Whether she replies or not often has as much to do with what mood you catch her in. If she's feeling cynical, less chance of a reply. If she's feeling upbeat and a little bored, much higher chance of a reply. If she's upbeat but busy and distracted (or about to fall asleep), then you'd have to stand out as something she's looking for... don't get hung up on that, it's impossible to predict, just mention enough specific things in your profile that there's some chance of that. It could be specific sexual tastes, shared music, social life and or event/adventure tastes, intellectual interests. Don't try to cover everything, just don't be too bland so there's nothing to hook on to. Think of it as a bit similar to peacocking...

jayhovaasmywitness · 2015-08-05T05:42:12+00:00

hi thats it

xsannyx · 2015-08-05T17:00:17+00:00

"Show me that booty"

Title	What is a good first message to send?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	25
Comments	18
Date	August 5, 2015 4:21 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3fu56k/what_is_a_good_first_message_to_send/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-is-a-good-first-message-to-send.1392073 https://theredarchive.com/post/1392073

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