Learning an attractive personality?

Galapo · 2015-08-30T12:11:54+00:00

That was the comment which one I started developing myself. By mesognome. Upvote him here https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/125ty6/26_years_old_never_had_a_girlfriend_never_been/c6sgtk1.

"Basically, I need to get some women in my life, like within the next several months, or I'm probably going to off myself. I don't really see the point in life if there's this deficit."

Run a marathon. Skydive. Pick a martial arts discipline and become a black belt. Climb - hills, rocks, mountains. Walk. Some morning just walk, for miles...hours. Meditate. Just fucking sit still for 1 hour, staring at a wall. I bet you can't. Because you want attention. You want stimulation. You will get up in 6 minutes and wack off, or go to some fucking lame concert looking around like a dope for a women who can't smell desperation. They can. It reeks from here.

Don't even bother with bars or clubs. Get into nature, a city, a coffee shop, a bookstore, a book club. Go to Meetups(.com).

In fact, do this - go to a MMA gym and train in grappling. For the first couple months you will experience cessation of these ridiculous feelings, because Ron, the 220 pound UPS truck loader, will be CHOKING YOU OUT and you will be too worried about getting oxygen into your brain to be thinking about women or lack thereof. Also, reconnecting with and meeting men will help you more than you think.

You have a sound mind, you have shelter, you have food in your stomach, you have four fucking limbs and you need ACT like it. Men sailed for YEARS on the open ocean without seeing women. Sailed to places NOT ON A GODDAMN MAP. Hacked through jungles while getting bit by shit you can't even fathom encountering. Panned for gold while getting shot at by Indians. Built goddamn farms with their bare hands on packed soil on endless plains, through storms, disease, and droughts. Think about your biggest accomplishment to date. Be proud of it. Build on it. Make it bigger, better. More expansive. Every day.

"I guess the biggest fear is of being negatively judged by everyone"

Everyone has heard the 'who cares what other people think?' rant a thousand times. I'm not going to bother. You know being judged doesn't matter. At least part of you knows it, if anything on an intellectual level. Find that piece of you. Be it.

"I've seen therapists and psychiatrists, but they all agree that my only problem is loneliness"

Stop. You are trying to solve a problem of the mind, by diving into the mind. You need to get yourself out of your head. In fact, they are the ones telling you this - if your only problem is LONELINESS, then your only problem is your IMAGINATION. They know you aren't even clinically depressed, just some whiny guy. They see right through it. Stop wasting theirs and your time.

Remember this - every dream, hope, desire, opinion, and thought you've ever had is bouncing around your mind like a ping pong ball. You have INVENTED this whole problem. It is your imagination. You have created an IDENTITY for yourself, which is LONELY.

Create a new identity - rock climber, yogi, black belt, marathoner, sailor, author, gardener, race car driver, expert birder, astronomer, hiker, explorer, warrior, chef, mathematician, artist, musician, swimmer, mechanic, goat herder. It doesn't matter! Be all of them!

There are goat herders who get way more pussy then you because they are authentic men. Be an authentic man. Being authentic means having your OWN meaning, not deriving your meaning from OTHER people.

What did you want to be most when you were a kid? Be it. If you can't be it, train for it. If you can't train for it, learn everything you can about it. EVERYTHING. If you can't learn about it, then you're not trying, and then I don't fucking care about you any more.

Be the king of your mind, the emperor of your body, and the shepherd of your spirit. The rest will follow. Basically, I need to get some women in my life, like within the next several months, or I'm probably going to off myself. I don't really see the point in life if there's this deficit."

Run a marathon. Skydive. Pick a martial arts discipline and become a black belt. Climb - hills, rocks, mountains. Walk. Some morning just walk, for miles...hours. Meditate. Just fucking sit still for 1 hour, staring at a wall. I bet you can't. Because you want attention. You want stimulation. You will get up in 6 minutes and wack off, or go to some fucking lame concert looking around like a dope for a women who can't smell desperation. They can. It reeks from here.

Don't even bother with bars or clubs. Get into nature, a city, a coffee shop, a bookstore, a book club. Go to Meetups(.com).

In fact, do this - go to a MMA gym and train in grappling. For the first couple months you will experience cessation of these ridiculous feelings, because Ron, the 220 pound UPS truck loader, will be CHOKING YOU OUT and you will be too worried about getting oxygen into your brain to be thinking about women or lack thereof. Also, reconnecting with and meeting men will help you more than you think.

You have a sound mind, you have shelter, you have food in your stomach, you have four fucking limbs and you need ACT like it. Men sailed for YEARS on the open ocean without seeing women. Sailed to places NOT ON A GODDAMN MAP. Hacked through jungles while getting bit by shit you can't even fathom encountering. Panned for gold while getting shot at by Indians. Built goddamn farms with their bare hands on packed soil on endless plains, through storms, disease, and droughts. Think about your biggest accomplishment to date. Be proud of it. Build on it. Make it bigger, better. More expansive. Every day.

"I guess the biggest fear is of being negatively judged by everyone"

Everyone has heard the 'who cares what other people think?' rant a thousand times. I'm not going to bother. You know being judged doesn't matter. At least part of you knows it, if anything on an intellectual level. Find that piece of you. Be it.

"I've seen therapists and psychiatrists, but they all agree that my only problem is loneliness"

Stop. You are trying to solve a problem of the mind, by diving into the mind. You need to get yourself out of your head. In fact, they are the ones telling you this - if your only problem is LONELINESS, then your only problem is your IMAGINATION. They know you aren't even clinically depressed, just some whiny guy. They see right through it. Stop wasting theirs and your time.

Remember this - every dream, hope, desire, opinion, and thought you've ever had is bouncing around your mind like a ping pong ball. You have INVENTED this whole problem. It is your imagination. You have created an IDENTITY for yourself, which is LONELY.

Create a new identity - rock climber, yogi, black belt, marathoner, sailor, author, gardener, race car driver, expert birder, astronomer, hiker, explorer, warrior, chef, mathematician, artist, musician, swimmer, mechanic, goat herder. It doesn't matter! Be all of them!

There are goat herders who get way more pussy then you because they are authentic men. Be an authentic man. Being authentic means having your OWN meaning, not deriving your meaning from OTHER people.

What did you want to be most when you were a kid? Be it. If you can't be it, train for it. If you can't train for it, learn everything you can about it. EVERYTHING. If you can't learn about it, then you're not trying, and then I don't fucking care about you any more.

Be the king of your mind, the emperor of your body, and the shepherd of your spirit. The rest will follow.

EDIT: Format. EDIT2: Source.

Wecanbefriendsnow · 2015-08-30T11:46:58+00:00

Always be talking. Talk to everyone you can. Doesn't matter who, how or why. Just keep talking.

Will take some time. If you are observant and reflective you will grow.

greatestaccounteva · 2015-08-30T14:07:37+00:00

Start out with these mindfulness exercises: observation ... walking ... breathing ... doing things like this and becoming more mindful will help to gain more control of your mind. Help you to prevent it from producing insecure thoughts, and help to deal with them when they do arise. It will also help to get out of your own head, therefor less likely to sit there saying nothing and feeling awkward about it.

Make a video of yourself speaking on a topic you like, ad lib it. practice just talking about it for as long as possible. Practice self amusement, make yourself laugh while making it. Be enthusiastic about whatever you're ranting on about. Compare yourself to a person with a bit of experience in public speaking. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-unuqF4uklE, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlJLLjE9_To , . Watch videos like that, on MUTE, and sort of mimic and compare yourself to them.

Work on your general emotional state. Work on stress management. Try to find more time for things you like to do. Travel as much as possible. Even if travel means simply taking a train to the nearest major city for a day, travel as much as possible.

Play humorous mind games with yourself when out and about. Characterize people in a humorous way. For example you'd [see this man](ikipedia/commons/thumb/4/45/Newt_Gingrich_by_Gage_Skidmore_7.jpg/220px-Newt_Gingrich_by_Gage_Skidmore_7.jpg) , then think to yourself "the lego man when old", or whatever comes to mind when you pass any person.

...

So I've done all these things and they've helped me become more "entertaining".

I should note that this should be done as background work. When actually in a social situation or set or date, simply be yourself and let the chips fall where they may. Gradually, this "being yourself" will become better and better.

sck_2008 · 2015-08-30T17:25:44+00:00

not exactly what you're looking for, but i think this is a good place to start, and well help you become more comfortable with yourself:

http://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People/dp/0671027034

Title	Learning an attractive personality?
Author	AWildChinAppears
Upvotes	13
Comments	15
Date	August 30, 2015 11:18 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3iy24d/learning_an_attractive_personality/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/learning-an-attractive-personality.1393321 https://theredarchive.com/post/1393321

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