19 and in college. I'm sick and tired of my approach anxiety preventing me from starting up conversations with girls. Give me good advice, and I'll try and put it to use today!

CalvinHobb3s · 2015-10-30T02:02:45+00:00

This is gonna get downvoted and people in this sub will shit on it. But I swear to god in heaven, this is the single best piece of advice you'll ever get for AA.

Stop jerking off. Not indefinitely, but try it for a week. And absolutely 100% cut porn out.

Evolution literally takes over and you'll approach.

EDIT: Thanks for not shitting on it.

RowingCox · 2015-10-29T21:47:27+00:00

Not what you are looking fur but the best advice is just fucking do it and mess up. Just make sure you learn something each time. You can read everything in the world but you will forget all of it in the moment. You must learn through action and messing things up. The most important part is outcome independence. If talking with a girl doesn't go well who gives a shit laugh t off because there are more fish in the sea. I had to fuck up conversations with thousands of women before I got anywhere.

ToastedTree · 2015-10-30T00:38:38+00:00

I'm also in college. You're just going to have to fuck up several times. It comes with experience. A good way to start anything is a good ole hello, or my favorite "excuse me, but (insert nearly anything)" compliment her on her outfit/style, tell her she seems interesting and you want to meet her, she's the cutest gurl you've seen all day blah blah. Log your approaches. I have an entire excel worksheet for my approaches, field reports and dates. I write down the approach and any notes I have to do next time. Very helpful and after just a week I've noticed improvement. Good luck man. Cheers.

slipperyottter · 2015-10-30T02:28:27+00:00

Youtube: RSD Tyler, RSD Julien and RSD Todd.

I recently discovered their channels by accident and their shit is legitimately informative.

GLOOTS_OF_PEACE · 2015-10-30T01:09:46+00:00

I'm scared of messing it up, I'm scared of getting rejected, I'm scared that her friends will judge me

To become a boss player you have to mess it up, you have to get rejected, because that is what will give you experience and harden you. Fuck what other people think, what matters is what YOU think. You're the only one who will know at the end of the day if you tried 100% or if you just let your life pass by. You go to gym and study so it sounds like you are trying to improve your life, which is great. You're not going to die when you approach a girl. Here's a good video about approach anxiety

Marcusaralius76 · 2015-10-30T02:57:25+00:00

The master failed more times than the novice even tried. If you are in a public place, you will likely meet at least a dozen pretty single girls in a day. Just say Hi, my name's ******** and I just wanted you to know I think you're very pretty/cute. Also, join clubs, do events. Meetup.com is a great place to meet people.

ValuePrestige · 2015-10-30T02:15:20+00:00

Stop being a pussy and making excuses. No one will remember you after college anyway. Man up or miss out.

crystal64 · 2015-10-30T01:03:09+00:00

lets make this easy for you

wear a tshirt which says "im shy"

when a girl smiles at you, smile back sheepishly and look at the floor before looking back at her

say "Hi"

Homeskilllet · 2015-10-30T03:43:11+00:00

Speak to her as if youre already friends. What would you say to your friend if they were standing there, wearing that, doing that? Keep it positive/light hearted. If you get a bad response, laugh it off and walk away. Keep in mind that if she rejects you, hey, thats ok! There is no 'REJECT' stamp on your forehead and you have other things that you can do to have a good time! It is important to believe that you will be fine and still have a good time whether she decides to continue talking to you or not :).

Angelispro · 2015-10-30T00:55:18+00:00

Just don't care. Your anxiety is your only enemy, so what if the girl doesn't what to talk to you. You're in charge of your dreams man. That hot girl in your class that you didn't say hi to couldve been your dream girl. College is about growing up and finding yourself, tell yourself that you're the new you... That other person was who you were before she doesn't know. :D

tour79 · 2015-10-30T02:41:58+00:00

Don't have expectations that are unrealistic. If I expect to meet a girl, get a date, and have sex all before I even see the girl, I put too much pressure on myself. Instead take steps that are realistic in size. Go out to say hello, and if that goes well, start a conversation. If you can't do that well, date, number, sex, relationship is off the table anyway. If you say hello, and it is a problem for her, that is her problem. You were polite, that's not a crime. Just leave the house feeling good, looking good, and go for a hello, from there anything can happen, but you will come home happy, because you set a realistic goal. If you get a conversation, even better. If it goes past that, still better, but the goal is just "hello"

ATXweirdobrew · 2015-10-30T04:58:27+00:00

You miss %100 of the shots you don't take, but not %100 percent of the shots you make are missed.

I can get into alot of detail about pickup and seduction and all of that. To make a long story short you need not to worry about girls. Focus on studies, making friends, going to parties, and picking up hobbies. Make your life meaningful and interesting, girls usually don't like boring guys. Always make sure to have things to talk about. I have lived an interesting life so far and always have something to spark conversation with.

Last thing, I wouldn't worry about what people say about you approaching girls. If you approach, get rejected, and walk away peacefully, then there is nothing lost. So what if they say something about it, there are way worse things people can be saying about you then approaching women. You never know if that group could have had a girl interested in you that turned into something good. Don't just approach women but approach guys as well. That will expand your social circle and get you into more social situations.

2015-10-30T05:38:05+00:00

It is really easy to overthink things. To psych yourself out of doig something. My advice would be to not to think about it. When you see someone you find attractive just move your feet. What to say? That wich is on your mind. "Hello, I am _______ and I saw you from overthere and think you are really beautiful". Don't take more than a couple of seconds to take action. The more you wait the worse it gets.

SmoothPrimal · 2015-10-30T06:14:57+00:00

Sorry to tell you bro but college is actually easy mode. I personally prefer it though, but once you start getting older you would need to look elsewhere since it would be creepy to be the old dude picking up young college chicks.

Chasebald · 2015-10-30T06:59:59+00:00

Start dancing. Most colleges have a swing dance night, or ballroom dance club. It's always packed with girls and never enough guys. Plus, it forces you into 3-4 minute periods where you two can talk. Low pressure, it's fun, and you learn a great skill. And girls love a guy who can dance.

guerrillaaction · 2015-10-30T12:23:29+00:00

do no fap for a week or so, also, have you tried marijuana?? i'm not saying go and be a full on out of control pot head, but take a hit before heading out. see how that works for you.

vis_comica · 2015-10-30T00:49:26+00:00

Approach anxiety it's not your problem, you have fear of failure. Girls don't bite (without consent, in most cases) just go ahead and mess it up a few times. Unless you live in a one horse town there is thousands of girls out there to practice with. Think about snakes, unless you handle a few of them you won't get over your fear.

nakklavaar · 2015-10-29T23:13:14+00:00

You don't feel entitled to beautiful women and are putting them on a pedestal, when really they aren't different from you. You also need to feel comfortable with yourself before feeling comfortable with others. If you don't feel like you deserve beautiful women then you won't get them or come off as inferior.

Title	19 and in college. I'm sick and tired of my approach anxiety preventing me from starting up conversations with girls. Give me good advice, and I'll try and put it to use today!
Author	Throwaway_Seduction_
Upvotes	66
Comments	36
Date	October 29, 2015 9:27 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3qrb21/19_and_in_college_im_sick_and_tired_of_my/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/19-and-in-college-im-sick-and-tired-of-my-approach.1396745 https://theredarchive.com/post/1396745

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