~ archived since 2018 ~

Just giving up today. (Rant)

rainmaider

November 5, 2015

1 upvotes

/r/seduction

I'm just about done worrying about any and all signs, body language, phrases or tricks that make me look confident in front of women.

I'm seriously at the point where I just don't care anymore, you can call me asexual or gay or whatever you want I do not care. I'm done with this specific wardrobe I'm just going to wear whatever the fuck I want. I'm going to just go out and do what I need to get done and come right back to my apartment.

Groceries, family and gym is all I'll need, the occasional mall shop for gifts and such but that's about it. Screw social circles or going to bar, clubs etc to try and make some stupid ass ice breaking convo with these random ass women. I'm done.

Don't take this as I hate women, I don't. What I hate is the stupid notion of being the alpha male, the hottest, cutest, tallest, buffest, richest whatever that women hold up men to. I'm sorry that I can't be the best, since I obviously don't meet the minimum criteria for all women in my damn area.

I'm focusing on me, my job, my pets and my family. I'm just going to pretend that women don't exist and I have zero percent chance that way it'll save me hours of my time and effort.

If it sounds like I'm frustrated I am. I'm done trying to share my life with a woman.

I am a 23 year old male who has never had a girlfriend or kissed or done anything for that matter. And you know what? I no longer care, if that sounds like loser status to you then let it be.

I'll just be a loser right here by myself in my apartment having fun chilling out with my dogs.

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Post Information

Title	Just giving up today. (Rant)
Author	rainmaider
Upvotes	1
Comments	46
Date	November 5, 2015 5:05 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3rlc3i/just_giving_up_today_rant/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/just-giving-up-today-rant.1397095 https://theredarchive.com/post/1397095

Comments

[–]WayOfTheGentleman 7 points8 points9 points 10 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link

[–]rainmaider[S] 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link

[–]WayOfTheGentleman 4 points5 points6 points 10 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

[–]rainmaider[S] 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

[–]WayOfTheGentleman 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link

[–]rainmaider[S] 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

[–]WayOfTheGentleman 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

[–]rainmaider[S] 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]WayOfTheGentleman 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

I hear you. It sucks, I've been there.

But what option do you really have?

I can remember going out constantly in 2005 for about 6 months and coming home with nothing but rejection to show for every night out.

It was really painful. Some nights I even cried when I got home. I said to myself 'why don't you just give this up and settle for some fat girl like other guys do?'

But I could never let myself do that. I would always know I'd sold myself short. Taken the easy option because I was too weak to stick with it.

Every fear you have in life as a man, you have to pay your dues to if you want to get past. You have to be willing to walk through your fears and problems, rather than try to avoid them. Ignoring the problem doesn't magically make it go away.

When you come out of the other end, you will be solid as fuck. Nothing like walking through a shower of bullets and realising you're still alive.

[–]rainmaider[S] 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]WayOfTheGentleman1 point 10 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]rainmaider1 point 10 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I get what you're saying.

I only say that because I do think, in this case, I am in the extreme. I've never heard of anyone ever going through this and believe me, it's nothing to be proud of.

I used your "fat chick" analogy because even women who you would think are "undesirable" have options. Women, unlike some men, always have options, it's like a supply and demand market, women are in demand, and because they aren't lifeless objects, they get to choose who they are with, more men have to settle than women do simply because women have way more options in picking men.

Due to this I feel that even for a "undesirable woman" I would still be on the bottom of the list given how many other, better looking, men would be competing for her.

It could very well be the root of my problems, but it's definitely not one I created, it's one that I noticed overtime to be true.

If in 23 years not 1 single female has found me attractive doesn't that send a message at some point? That maybe I'm not the most attractive man in the world to put it lightly.

After that many years I don't chalk it up to coincidence.

[–]WayOfTheGentleman2 points 10 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Perhaps you don’t understand what women really want?

If there’s one thing they all want, it’s the feeling of safety and protection. This overrides everything.

That feeling of no matter what happens, when they are with you, they are totally safe. If a crazed axeman stormed into the restaurant in which you’re eating, she feels you would find some way to make it ok.

She can let out her sexual desires with you, without being judged.

Basically the feeling of ‘this man has his shit together and I can trust him to lead me in the right direction’.

If you’re busy being obsessed by you and your important problems and your tough life, how can she ever feel like ‘this man can protect me’?

If you’re confused and directionless, how can she trust you to make her feel safe and protected, when you don’t even feel that way about yourself?

That’s why what you’re doing now is so important. Getting a sense of direction, purpose, a feeling of ‘I’m on my path and I know where I’m going’ will make a big difference to you.

If you’ve just been going up to girls and repeating the stuff you see in RSD, but your energy is one of a man who is rudderless, you’ll struggle to get anywhere. This is where I see your problem as being (although I can obviously only assess so accurately based on this short text based conversation).

[–]rainmaider1 point 10 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Perhaps you don’t understand what women really want?

Most women make it very very clear on what they want.

If there’s one thing they all want, it’s the feeling of safety and protection. This overrides everything.

Not everything apparently. I'm living proof of that.

That feeling of no matter what happens, when they are with you, they are totally safe. If a crazed axeman stormed into the restaurant in which you’re eating, she feels you would find some way to make it ok.

Any sane person in their right mind would do whatever they can to help in that situation.

She can let out her sexual desires with you, without being judged.

Only a complete total asshole would judge someone based on something to trivial.

Basically the feeling of ‘this man has his shit together and I can trust him to lead me in the right direction’.

I have seen women with people who make their life worse. I don't think this one is true.

If you’re busy being obsessed by you and your important problems and your tough life, how can she ever feel like ‘this man can protect me’?

If someone depended on me for protection or guidance I would do everything in my power to be that for them, no issue or matter is too important to overlook the people I love. I do this for my family and if I had someone in my life whom I loved just as much I would do it for them in a heartbeat too. But according to the internet, that's "beta male" talk I guess, and women don't like that.

If you’re confused and directionless, how can she trust you to make her feel safe and protected, when you don’t even feel that way about yourself?

The only thing I'm confused and directionless about is women and this whole attraction/confidence thing. I just don't understand the meaning of it anymore. If you want to grade me on my personal life then I'd say I have my shit together pretty damn well, especially compared to most 23 year olds, I won't brag about what I've done, but let's just say I'm doing all I can to lay a foundation for myself and a potential family in the long future. I guess at this point it might just be me and some adopted kids which would be cool.

That’s why what you’re doing now is so important. Getting a sense of direction, purpose, a feeling of ‘I’m on my path and I know where I’m going’ will make a big difference to you.

I've had that mentality since I became and adult and was kicked out of my parents house. I've focused so much on myself and getting over my bad past that I thought that's the reason why I've had no experience with women, maybe if I paid attention to them more, they would pay attention to me, obviously I was wrong, so I'm ready to just hyper focus on me again despite me knowing that doesn't work when it comes to getting women interested in you.

If you’ve just been going up to girls and repeating the stuff you see in RSD, but your energy is one of a man who is rudderless, you’ll struggle to get anywhere. This is where I see your problem as being (although I can obviously only assess so accurately based on this short text based conversation).

I have no idea what RSD is. If by rudderless you mean I don't know what to do around women, then yes you are correct.

[–]WayOfTheGentleman1 point 10 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Ok...I don't believe you want help. I don't believe you want to change. I think you want to be told that your situation is unique and special, and there's nothing that can be done. That you are not the problem, it's not your fault...women want something that isn't you, and you're not wrong here.

So here we go - it's not your fault. There's nothing you can do. It's the fault of women for not knowing a good guy when they see one.

Look, it's up to you. It makes no difference to me or my life if you choose to pay attention to solid advice, or deny it all and throw it right back. I'll be fine either way.

You have to get to the point where you accept that you are 100% responsible for all the results you are creating in your life.

Every single thing you wrote above 'refuting' what I put just proves further than you don't understand women. Pretty much everyone is judging women for their sexual desires. It's a constant problem for them.

A good starting point would be for you to really get into the mind of a hot girl. What is life like for her? What does she want? What kind of man does she want? What does she worry about? What makes her angry and upset? What does she do on a day to day basis?

How well do you think you could articulate all of that?

[–]rainmaider1 point 10 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Ok...I don't believe you want help. I don't believe you want to change. I think you want to be told that your situation is unique and special, and there's nothing that can be done. That you are not the problem, it's not your fault...women want something that isn't you, and you're not wrong here.

Please listen to me.

I am in the wrong here. There is something not right with me when it comes to women. Women want whatever they want and it's not what I have to offer. It's not their fault I'm lacking in whatever they look for it's mine. I should have more to offer.

So here we go - it's not your fault. There's nothing you can do. It's the fault of women for not knowing a good guy when they see one.

I see what you're doing but I'm obviously not a good guy, there is something missing from me that women look at and say "yea I can see myself at least dating him once". I truly, don't think it's them, it's something I need to have.

Every single thing you wrote above 'refuting' what I put just proves further than you don't understand women.

Believe me, I am not saying I understand women at all. This thread is proof of quite the opposite.

Pretty much everyone is judging women for their sexual desires. It's a constant problem for them.

I'm not saying it doesn't happen, its does. I've seen it happen. What I said was only true closed minded idiots would judge a women just because she has sexual desires like every other human being.

Also for the record I wasn't trying to "refute" your claims, I was honestly simply answering them.

A good starting point would be for you to really get into the mind of a hot girl. What is life like for her? What does she want? What kind of man does she want? What does she worry about? What makes her angry and upset? What does she do on a day to day basis?

A lot of those will depend on her life, upbringing, personality and just overall life situation. But for the "What kind of man does she want?" well she would most likely want someone just as hot or hotter than her who will offer her more than what she already has in life.

[–]WayOfTheGentleman1 point 10 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Your problem is very similar actually to a lot of guys - you don't understand your own value, so you can't see why a woman would choose you.

There are 2 types of value you can offer:

Generic value (these are things that ALL people want)
Unique value (these are things that you offer that only certain people will want)

I made this video a while back on how to give generic value:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIWNzfG9TUw

Just realising all the things you can offer from this video gives you an advantage over other guys. If we then got digging into your unique value and found your 'gold' (and everyone has gold, it just needs to be found), then you'd actually have quite a decent all round package.

A side benefit is you would actually realise on a deep level 'hey I do have real value to offer here, value that other guys don't have' and you'd start acting in more attractive way based on this.

Guys tend to get stuck in the 'looks and money' paradigm where they assume that the more you have of both of these, the better you'll be. In reality these are only 2 small things on a massive spectrum on things that a woman could be attracted. Women are much less shallow than men in that regard.

[–]rainmaider1 point 10 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

That video was very well made, simple and effective, you are quite good at explaining your points without convolution.

I can't help but notice I lack a good number of those generic value traits such as significance, security and certainty parts.

One of the reasons why I decided to work where I do is because I don't quite do the same thing everyday or work in the same place everyday but I don't think that counts since it's only my job.

Appreciation is one I do have because (as sad as it sounds) most people don't do much for me, not that I want them to, but when they do I genuinely, honestly appreciate it and I make sure they know about it so that they can continue to be like that for others who might be having a worse day than mine at some point.

I'm mostly done with all the pick up, confidence and women info videos because I'm sick to death of them but yours are still intriguing and if I watch any it would be like these.

To be honest, I don't think I have a gold. When I think really hard I try to find some thing, that one thing, that I can think of that would make me somewhat attractive and I just draw a blank. Aside from all the other things women expect men to offer I even fall short on those I don't think I have something super special that most men can call their gold.

I've had a hard time valuing myself because of what most other men have to offer on top of the money and looks and sheer options women have when they look for a partner.

[–]raj_ams1 points 10 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]rainmaider[S] 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]authenticsociallife1 points 10 years ago [recovered] (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]rainmaider[S] 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]authenticsociallife1 points 10 years ago [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]rainmaider[S] 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]authenticsociallife1 points 10 years ago [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]rainmaider[S] 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]authenticsociallife1 point 10 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]authenticsociallife0 points 10 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]TheXXL 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]rainmaider[S] 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheXXL 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

I've been on this sub for a while now mostly because I like to see what it's like to have relationships, sexual experiences and just overall women in your life in general.

Well, this is not the best place to get that experience, since it is only second hand, and also far from the real experience.

I feel like venting and just putting it out there in writing, even if only a few read it, it does make me feel better by letting it out.

Actually, this is a pretty good idea, just to clear your mind, let go of all your frustrations etc.

Don't get me wrong, would I like to have female friends, a girlfriend at some point? Of course. I do care about women and I do wish I had the requirements to have a relationship.

i don't know you, but i am pretty sure you have all the requirements for a relationship, at least the potential.

What I no longer care about is this whole art of dating, meeting/picking up women and meeting their criteria, being the alpha male, not caring what women think but still caring anyway to have sex or a relationship, being rejected etc.

Don't worry, i have been at this point also. The thing is, in the pickup community there are so many different characters, so many different apporaches, and techniques, that it is hard to see what is behind all this. Most of the techniques are there to overcome fear, to give the user a crutch so he will be able to "walk". What is very rarely told, is the fact that all of those things, people tell you to do, don't work on all women. They might even not work at all for some people.

I'm just done with all that and I might be done with women in general.

Though i believe you that you are pretty much done with all these techniques, i am also sure you are not done with women. And this is the good part, there comes a time in learning, where you know that you dont need those crutches, where you learn that some things are becoming second nature to you, for instance, not actively pursuing pussy. This is what makes you a better man, since this is what makes you chilled, attractive to women, because they feel if you are just needy, trying to get in their pants.

So basically you are doing the right thing, forget all this crap about rules how to date, all these manipulations to get her to like you. Those are ingenuine. You should do what you like, but also expand your comfort zone even further. I for instance enjy going to bars, talking to women, and i don't care anymore of being rejected, because i don't care if i am getting laid. I simply enjoy the moment, talking to interesting women, and if she is boring me, i leave. I don't use canned material, i don't use manipulation, i don't stress myself to get the kiss close as soon as possible, most of the time i don't even go for her number. I only do what feels good, and right to me. You would not believe how good it feels, and there is still a good success rate, just because i am relaxed and genuine.

Think about it, and then do whatever you want, this is the recipe for success.

[–]rainmaider[S] 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

Well, this is not the best place to get that experience, since it is only second hand, and also far from the real experience.

It meant mostly to see what other people have going for them. What they go through when dealing with women and relationships, getting to text them get intimate, etc.

i don't know you, but i am pretty sure you have all the requirements for a relationship, at least the potential.

In order to have a relationship you need to have a woman be interested in you romantically, I have yet to meet that requirement in my life.

I only say I could be done with women because I just don't know what to do now, what angle to take or what mentality to have. I just don't care, and I know that's the last thing women look for in a man, a man who has given up.

I've been trying the whole expand my comfort zone but it just makes me look dumber than I am.

I'm sure it feels amazing, and that's the feeling I've been wanting for a few years now but I learned some people aren't cut out for it.

[–]TheXXL 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

In order to have a relationship you need to have a woman be interested in you romantically, I have yet to meet that requirement in my life.

I can tell you from experience that there are far more women interested than you see, back in the days i had the same problem, always thinking no woman could ever want me, but when i started to learn about myself, about what my worth was, and i changed my mindset, i started to notice the women that wanted me. It is all about perception.

I only say I could be done with women because I just don't know what to do now, what angle to take or what mentality to have. I just don't care, and I know that's the last thing women look for in a man, a man who has given up.

You are partly true, but also wrong. Women don't want men who give up on life. but this does not mean that it is a bad thing to concentrate on what you love. This on the other hand is pretty attractive.

I've been trying the whole expand my comfort zone but it just makes me look dumber than I am.

There is no trying out in expanding your comfort zone. Either you do it constantly, and learn to deal with the negative emotions, feeling creepy, dumb, anxious etc. or you will never change the way you behave. It is like working out, you dont get muscular from going to the gym two or three times. You need to do it regularly to see changes. The same with expanding your comfortzone, it will feel like shit pretty much always, but you get to a point where the expansion was succesful, so you don't feel negative anymore with a certain topic, then you move on to the next thing that feels like shit, and repeat.

I'm sure it feels amazing, and that's the feeling I've been wanting for a few years now but I learned some people aren't cut out for it.

Maybe you are true, i cannot speak for you, but giving up is the mentality of a loser. And you know what? a loser never wins, where a winner, also loses many times, but he still wins sometimes.

Bottomline is that you seem to be impatient, not ready to work on yourself to the extent that is necessary to win, you fear the pain. You think that you are a lost cause, not able to progress, but i tell you this is all in your head. If you knew what i have been through in my 38 years, you would not believe it. And along the way i was giving up many times, but not on trivial things like women, rather than life itself, to the point where i was very close to killing myself. And still i live. Because i learned that if i don't fight, i will lose, and damn... i fucking hate losing! Change the thought in your mind that makes you feel not being able to do something. You can do what ever the fuck you want. You just have to be committed to it, learn to love the pain that changing yourself brings, and you will succeed. And btw. If something does not work, try changing what you do.

[–]rainmaider[S] 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

I can tell you from experience that there are far more women interested than you see, back in the days i had the same problem, always thinking no woman could ever want me, but when i started to learn about myself, about what my worth was, and i changed my mindset, i started to notice the women that wanted me. It is all about perception.

Interested in other men? Definitely. Interested in me? I have yet to meet one.

After 23 years of no interest from one female I don't think it's about perception anymore, after trying to actively talk to and approach women at some point you get the message.

You are partly true, but also wrong. Women don't want men who give up on life. but this does not mean that it is a bad thing to concentrate on what you love. This on the other hand is pretty attractive.

I'll be honest, I don't understand what you mean here. Trust me, I will never give up on my life, I've come too far and overcame too many odds withing my own toxic family to ever quit to anything stopping me from being even more successful than I am. What I am giving up on is the whole women, attracting, being confident, being sexual, etc.

I am impatient at this point. You have no idea how it feels to be ignored and rejected by women your whole life. I don't fear the pain anymore, I've been through it, I'm going through it now, it's still here, I just stopped caring about it. By doing that it doesn't hurt as much.

I've come close to killing myself too, the only thing stopping me from doing it was the drive that I had to prove certain people in my family wrong.

Obviously how I lived my life until now wasn't working, I tried my best to change myself and how I saw women and social life in general and here I am. I've read and seen so many things regarding how to become this to women that I'm sick of it all.

[–]TheXXL 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

After 23 years of no interest from one female I don't think it's about perception anymore, after trying to actively talk to and approach women at some point you get the message.

Yes, you get the message that you are doing something wrong, been there done that.

I'll be honest, I don't understand what you mean here.

I mean that it is not important to do things the way other people do it, rather than do what you like to do. Giving a shit about what others think about it.

Trust me, I will never give up on my life, I've come too far and overcame too many odds withing my own toxic family to ever quit to anything stopping me from being even more successful than I am. What I am giving up on is the whole women, attracting, being confident, being sexual, etc.

There you have it, you fought, you might have lost sometime, but in the end you won. This i what is important, never stop trying.

I am impatient at this point. You have no idea how it feels to be ignored and rejected by women your whole life. I don't fear the pain anymore, I've been through it, I'm going through it now, it's still here, I just stopped caring about it. By doing that it doesn't hurt as much.

Well, actually i do know how it feels. Til my late 20's i was nothing more than a ugly creepy virgin that sat at home playing video games and didn socialize much. I cannot count the number of women that looked at me with a look of disgust on their faces. Those few that i came in contact with over friends, liked me enough to be their gay best friend, to whom they came crying when another guy fucked them and dumped them. And what can i say, i gave them presents, treated them like princesses etc. the whole creepy omega male thing, just to gain their affection. Needless to say it ended all the same way: "You are nice but i don't want more than friendship.".

Someday i began to realize that this does not work, basically i was frustrated about my latest advance not working out, again. I discovered pick up, learned a lot, tried a lot, failed more than i ever had. For extended amounts of time. Then after a year or so, i realized i had come far, not at the point i wanted to be, but it was progress. And this made me realize that i just have to work on it. Try out every single thing until i found the right approach. I can tell you, i am not the most successful guy out there, but i am happy with what i have become. Mostly because i changed my thinking though all the crazy experiences i had, all the fails i endured, etc.

Obviously how I lived my life until now wasn't working, I tried my best to change myself and how I saw women and social life in general and here I am. I've read and seen so many things regarding how to become this to women that I'm sick of it all.

Changing yourself takes time, and somtimes many many tries. Not all works, you have to deal with that. but i assure you, as long as you are not mentally ill, have no arms or legs, are looking like frankesteins monster itself, giving off a serial killer vibe, you can change yourself into an attractive man. I did it, and i am not handsom at all, hell... i dont even have hair on my head anymore! still no one cares.

Anyways, like i say, you can be the one that is whining about that he will never accomplish anything, or you can be the winner that tries every single thing, regardless of how much it hurts, how much it sucks, how stupid it sounds or whoever tells you it does not work, until he succeeds.

It's your choice.

[–]rainmaider[S] 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

I've never really had female friends to learn from or treat a certain way to see how they react or feel so I'm sure that doesn't help.

Earlier this year I looked into things and I saw all the pick up talk online. I really tried to follow it and even though most of it confused me I tried to take it all in and change how I portray myself and suck it up and just approach women and try to talk to them on a more personal level.

Obviously I failed miserably but I just don't know what to do at this point other than to keep reading up on pick up but after a while it became jibberish to me, I got fed up and just decided I wasn't going to do this anymore.

It's caused me too much anguish, guilt, discomfort and failure that I asked myself "are you enjoying this? because no one is forcing you to do this" and I'll admit, I got very pissed off and just said fuck it, I'm done.

I don't know if I'll ever get back into the mindset of changing myself or trying to be confident all over again, the whole thing feels like a nightmare that never happened.

are looking like frankesteins monster itself, giving off a serial killer vibe

You joke but this may not be too far off from my situation.

All those words, attractive, confident, sexy, start to bother me the more I think of them simply by proxy.

I've said before, I'm not giving up on life, I'm far too smart and ahead to ever think about that. I just want to stop thinking of women and relationships, hopefully get that idea out of my head of wondering what it would be like to have a significant other.

Truth be told, I appreciate your responses.

I started this whole thing this year because I didn't want to spend another Christmas alone. Sounds dumb and childish but I really wanted it. To share it with one special person.

I should know that's how life is sometimes.

[–]chillfancy 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Rain, I came all they way down to this comment because I wanted to say this to you.

You DO have value. You have life in your body, you're articulate, and you have the capability for compassion. I feel like you have been approaching PU all wrong. A lot of PUA use these methods with poor intentions. Ultimately PU is about social engineering; it's about learning how people think and using it to interact with them in a more powerful way. Eye contact, keno, conversation techniques, ect.. can be used to build people up and help them like and understand what you bring as a human. #1, you must focus on yourself! Who are you and what do you want from your short time on this planet?

Your job and business is important, but not as important as knowing what you want from your life and taking steps, no matter how small or inconsequential they may feel now, towards living the life you want. If you think deeply, what does the rainmaider ubermensch look like, your ideal self. Don't focus on the physical self in your mind now or even something like "oh, I'd be really rich and live on a beach" but the kind of life you would ideally live, where you are happy and fulfilled. If you feel like you are making steps towards there you want to be, you can be confident in that knowledge.

Relationships are the hardest things in life. haha. You have to understand that there are just as many women in the world who feel like you do now. There is a girl sitting at home now saying "fuck the dating game, fuck guys, I'm going to focus on my career and chill at home with my pets." Now imagine that you go to work, come home and go to the dog park, and then come home where you cook dinner together. You can have this life if you are strategic and put yourself out there to meet people.

Please message me if you want. I feel like you are really disillusioned, and that you know exactly what I mean with what I've said above.

[–]rainmaider[S] 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I'll be honest with you.

I know for a fact I have value, I have a life and I am different from others. What I don't understand is what do I have or don't have that makes women just hate me.

you must focus on yourself! Who are you and what do you want from your short time on this planet?

The thing about this saying is that I've always focused on myself, making me a better person in order to not only reach my goals but to do so happily and successfully. Those thoughts and practices have led me to be invisible to all women, I don't know how or why they just did.

Your job and business is important, but not as important as knowing what you want from your life and taking steps, no matter how small or inconsequential they may feel now, towards living the life you want. If you think deeply, what does the rainmaider ubermensch look like, your ideal self. Don't focus on the physical self in your mind now or even something like "oh, I'd be really rich and live on a beach" but the kind of life you would ideally live, where you are happy and fulfilled. If you feel like you are making steps towards there you want to be, you can be confident in that knowledge.

I come from a crap family full of idiots who thought they could tell me what I can and cannot be in life. My dad said as soon as I turned 18 I was kicked out of my house, at first I was sad, then I realized that I would be free from that hellhole and thought of it as a new beginning. To shed the negativity from those people and start my own life, live how I want and be my own person. I wanted security and stability, I didn't want a fast food job I wanted to learn, to advance. I ended up getting a job at a radio station in the middle of nowhere working overnight. Got credentials and moved to a bigger city with bigger stations and got a better job that I enjoy and even better, everyday is something slightly different. Now I have a place to stay, 2 dogs, a car and practically all the stupid things I like to buy, plus savings. Throw in my diet and lifting I've been doing for over a year and you have the best version of me I've ever felt like.

It wasn't up until last year that it hit me. I've never even held hands with a woman outside of my family. I started to think about why and couldn't come up with an answer. I tried to become more "social" and lean pick up and all this advice and tactics I could use to make myself look and feel more desirable and confident but it all went to crap.

I started really trying at the beginning of this year. Last year during Christmas I told myself I want to spend my Holidays with someone special, I want to set a goal to try my damnedest to improve myself in the eyes of women and have a significant other to share aspects of my life with, to learn from and be with.

It's a bit too late now, every corner has been a dead end. I'm all out of ideas and more importantly hope in this regard. It caused me pain, anguish, confusion and tears until I asked myself "who is forcing you to do this?". That's why I decided to give up on this whole women thing, cause I just don't know what's right anymore.

There are so many amazing eligible men out there just waiting to date women I honestly, truly cannot believe that there would be a woman who can't find a date. Every single woman has some aspect to her that is awesome. I've always noticed that women will have many many men to choose from.

Now imagine that you go to work, come home and go to the dog park, and then come home where you cook dinner together.

Sound like one of my pipe dreams.

You can have this life if you are strategic and put yourself out there to meet people.

I know it's irrelevant but why not. The word "strategic" is my favorite word. I attribute it to chess, and I love chess to death. If women and relationships were chess, I'd never have an issue with them in the world.

I want to tell you something. Thank you.

I can tell that you genuinely care. When I made this post it was to vent, I never expected anyone to care let alone post with real advice. I don't know if you're a man or woman nor does it matter, I will most likely never meet you, but just know that these words do matter, the time your took out of your day to type this to me means something, if not anyone but me, it still has meaning.

[–]chillfancy1 point 10 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]H8CourtshipALot217 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]padre-pedro -1 points0 points1 point 10 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheRealYellowClaw 5 points6 points7 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]rainmaider[S] 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]padre-pedro 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]rainmaider[S] 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link