21 year old virgin, last semester of college, tired of reading pickup books, heavy course load, how do I lose it? Need ideas.

optimusderp · 2015-11-05T06:36:03+00:00

Go out and approach for 30 days straight, do not read any material during that time or watch any videos. You've allready got the knowledge and genetically as a man you're allready wired to get girls.

Dude i know the struggle, i didnt even get my first kiss till i was 21.

Just approach every day for 30 days straight, doesnt matter if its day or night. Always attempt the number close and set up dates.

Even if your game is weak, statistically your going to be some girls type whether or not your smooth. So just approach, even if its just "Hey im....."

49ered · 2015-11-05T06:37:09+00:00

I truly feel that these kinds of threads are ones that put Seddit's name to the test. You get a chance to find out which one of the users here are just keyboard jockeys with no life experience because they will give answers such as "stop putting pussy on the pedestal BRO!" or "it's your game bro!", nothing specific, just generic recycled nonsense when OP clearly needs good advice.

So here is my advice to you.

Chances are, you are going for girls out of your league here. If you're a 6'1 Arab guy in some school in a conservative state, you are going to have a tough time getting cute white girls in sororities unless you're in a fraternity or play sports.

You also have a heavy course load which leaves you little to no time to go out on weekdays.

Start doing a lot more of your work outside of your own room or libraries, do it in cafes and see if you can eventually talk to a girl while you're taking a break. Do not go for the number close, you're in college, you don't want to be known as THAT GUY.

Get a lot of your work done on weekends and set aside one night of the week to hit the bar scene, talk to the bartenders and grab a drink (be sure to tip) and then start engaging socially with the crowds there. Talk to guys and if you made any effort to get to know people, you will run into some of those same guys at bars. You might also run into some of the girls you talked to at cafes.

If you go out enough and all of you get drunk enough, you should end up with a makeout or lay before you finish school.

Other than that, you're pretty screwed. I would stick to a post grad guide on getting laid which is moving to a big city and then finding a way to get connected to the bar scene there. Sorry that you had to go through all of this, leaving college as a virgin is truly depressing for any man.

alterpersona · 2015-11-05T06:35:27+00:00

Perhaps it would be easier to give you advice if you posted a FR of a typical night. All the advice you need exists in the sidebar, but it's generic advice because it's targeted at everyone. If you want advice specific to your situation, you need to give us some specific details. Not just about your background, but how you actually act when you're out actively look to pick up chicks. Do you have any success outside of getting laid, i.e., getting dates, makeouts etc?

KesslersaurusRex · 2015-11-05T08:06:16+00:00

first and foremost, stop thinking of your losing your virginity as some sort of big deal. if other guys make you feel small about it, it's because they're virgins, too. you have to stop wanting it so bad. be gregarious and outgoing. It is best to go out with a group of friend or to a bar or other social scene where you know a lot of people. casual touch is your friend. talking with your hands and lightly touching people or tapping people as you talk. give fives, shakes hands, and talk to anyone that is interesting. talk to as many women as possible. study your body posture when you talk to people. notive how your body acts when talk to your buddies and when you talk to a girl you like. reverse that, give more straight-forward body positioning when you talk to your friends and platonic people, teachers, etc. Give more indirect, casual body positions to girls you like. Look everyone is the eye when you talk to them. And back to casual touch; small touches on her elbows or maybe when you order a drink you rest your hand toward the bottom of her back. shows her that your not afraid to touch her and sets her at ease. be polite, be witty, but remember to progress. don't be a doormat. tell her what you're doing after and invite her along. it taes practice, but mostly it takes not giving one good goddamn about losing your virginity. When you don't care about THAT anymore, poof it'll b gone.

quantumly_charmed · 2015-11-05T14:48:19+00:00

OP, you're getting good advice here. One thing I'll reiterate is to stop approaching sex from a place of neediness. Women can smell the desperation from a mile away. Forget about external validation, you don't need it! You really have to believe in yourself, gain real confidence, and the rest is easy.

Women want to follow your lead, but that can only happen if you offer a strong, confident frame. Good luck.

authenticsociallife · 2015-11-05T08:12:31+00:00

First, I am middle-eastern and grew up in a strict family so I've been where you are. I've also dated some of the most beautiful white women on this Earth; playmates, high end strippers, pornstars, I've been with all of them. Just as you like white women because they're different and unique, they will like you if you have your shit together. Think of yourself as a rarity, they get to try a new culture by being with you. Women want to fuck someone unique, just like you do, so think of you being Arab as working to your advantage. You have a look that's unlike everyone else out there.

So, let's forget all the pick-up stuff for a minute. I'm going to make this as simple as possible for you.

First, we need to get you one good friend to go out with. Just one. You don't need a million. Just ONE. If you already have one, great. If you don't have one, go on the Simple Pickup Forum and post that you're looking for a wingman in your area: http://www.simplepickup.com/forum/find-wingman/

If you can't find one on there, go on Meetup.com and find a lair in your area or check the sidebar for one in your area.

This is going to sound counter intuitive but it will work. After you have your companion, I want you to go out a couple of nights a week (depending on what's realistic for you) but not to your local college bars. The women there are going to be cliqued in groups and typically with guys they know from campus.

You're to go to bars off campus with your friend and talk to women, especially women who are in groups of two. Those are women who are out looking for fun. Also, since they're not from your college (they might not even be in college), and you are in college, your perceived value will be high in their eyes, higher then if you just want to your local bar where everyone is at the same school you are. You and your friend talk to the two women you see and work the two of them. Break them two up into two individual interactions. You talk with your woman, kiss, and try to take her home. It's that simple. If you can't fuck the first night, you get her number and meet at a bar close to your place. Have a drink with her, joke, kiss, go back to your place and fuck. It's simple. If you don't have sex with her the second time you've seen her, invite her straight over for wine the third time.

The main thing is to get a pipeline or system going for sex. For example, you go to a bar, get 5 numbers, maybe fuck one that night. Out of those 5, you take out 3 and fuck at least 1. Start thinking of this in terms of a system. When I was in college, my roommate and I would go out three nights a week to bars and clubs off campus and pull. You need to do the same thing. You just need a system in place where you are consistently meeting women. By going out two nights a week and talking to women you have to meet some that you will have sex with.

The more work you put in, the greater your reward will be.

If your course load is too much, wait until college is done and implement what I said.

It's simple.

Get a wingman.
Go out to bars and clubs and talk to women.
Have sex with them; this can upon meeting, first date, or second date.

fredsterchester · 2015-11-05T08:53:01+00:00

this is all i could say

get a cool spot to live, throw partys often, be nice to everybody.

hit on everybody 0-10, men and women,

focus more on having fun than getting laid

GLOOTS_OF_PEACE · 2015-11-05T11:16:04+00:00

You say you don't want more theory and yet ask for ideas. Mate nothing we say is gonna get you results. Go out, eat shit, have fun, and learn.

yellowra11 · 2015-11-05T15:50:35+00:00

1st step is talking, go out and talk. That's it. There is no science/formula in picking up women. All you have to do is approach and talk. Show your interests, let the rest follow.

Tjodleik · 2015-11-05T17:02:42+00:00

Hi. I've been in a similar situation, so I'll throw my two cents in here.

Now, if you think being a 21 year old virgin is tough, try being a 30 year old virgin. Yeah, that was me. I lost my virginity when I was 30 years and 4 months old, so I think I at least got a general idea of how you feel.

With the pleasantries out of the way, I guess it's time to move on to the nitty gritty part. I do apologize up front if any of this sound harsh, but think of it as tough love.

I have seen a lot of relevant RSD videos, motivational stuff, and read books.

Okey. That's all well and good, and a basic understandig of how things work will definitely put you ahead of a lot of men out there. However, knowledge is worthless if you don't take action and combine it with experience, so I'm wondering what actions have you taken to improve your dating life. It is of course impossible to draw any kind of valid conclusions from one post here, but if I am to judge by this one post it appears you have gone through a lot of theory and taken very little, if any, action to actually move toward your goal.

So, let's try to break things down here ...

First of all, what is your goal? Losing your virginity? Fine. You already got the theory, so what actions can you take? Going to a bar or club is by far the easiest way, because there are usually a lot of women there and if you strike out with one you can find another. However, the bar and club scene isn't for everybody, so you got to find out if you're a clubbing person or prefer a more quiet environment, and find one that suits you and has women to boot.

While I'm at it, find a place you really enjoy. It will help keep your mood afloat when you run into rejections, and if you're already enjoying yourself your chances go up because you don't need anyone to provide happiness for you. If you can, try to combine meeting women with hobbies you really enjoy as well. As an example I'm a passionate music lover, and there is this bar just down the street from me that has live music six nights a week. So, I go down there as often as I can and sing from the top of my lungs, and just displaying that passion is often enough to get women to approach me. Mind you, I'm a fat dude with average looks, and the women in question are usually quite hot.

Now that we got "where" out of the way it's time to move on to "who." In other words, how does your ideal woman look and act? I'm not expecting you to give me a list of fifty points, but having standards other than "She must be hot" will both save you a lot of time and trouble. As some more or less clever guy said, going after women based on their looks is like choosing your breakfast cereal based on color instead of taste. Having standards can also increase your attractiveness, because it shows that you value yourself and won't just take anything with two tits, a hole and a heartbeat. If you're at loss, think of what behavior you will and won't tolerate from friends, and apply them to women as well. Or if you want it really simple, think of the biggest douche you know and try to find out which part of his behaviors and/or personality it is that makes you think of him as a douche. Then you transfer that to women and ask yourself if you would accept the same behavior in a woman, and if not, how to find out if she display similar behavior.

Note that it shouldn't be something complicated, just something you can screen them on and/or disqualify them for. It can also be totally nosensical things like "if you don't like strawberry icecream I can't date you." You have to find out what works for your particular personality, though. Also, don't take me too literally and go out and ask girls if they wanna fuck a virgin. In fact, don't mention that at all unless a girl you're talking with brings up that particular question.

The last piece is "you." Where exactly is it that things fail? If I am to judge by your post, which is basically me taking a shot in pitch black darkness, you sound like you got the theory but doesn't back it up with action. That is however pure guesswork on my part, and only you can answer the question. Is it lack of action? Approach anxiety? You don't dare to touch them and get a bad case of hover hand? You don't know what to say? Shy? Have low self confidence? Think a girl expect a sexual superman and won't fuck a virgin (which is bullshit by the way, unless you make it a huge problem)?

I'm also going to break the rules and give you the ol' "there's more to life than sex," simply because there is a high probability your focus on "losing the V card" is throwing spanners in the works and, at best, make this a much longer road than it has to be. This is just something that worked for me, but the thought of having a plan and the fact that I could actually learn to pick up women helped me shift my focus away from the thought of being a virgin til the day I died and turned it toward learning this awesome new skill. I'll admit that I, at the time, derived a lot of value from my ability to learn new information very quickly, and this was just another of my countless pastimes. I jumped in head first and focused all my energy on absorbing relevant information, and since this was something I could actually do I got out and started practicing.

So, just in case you're like me - focus on using what you know, and the process of learning a new skill instead of "getting the V card off your back." All the knowledge in the world will do exactly jack shit unless you combine it with action, learn from your mistakes and use the experience to modify your approach. All the videos you watched are nothing more than tools, and right now it looks like they are collecting dust in the proverbial tool shed while the owner is sitting on his ass thinking that if he get enough tools the house he wants will build itself.

To round it off people have recommended that you get a wingman, and I agree. Ideally you should get someone who is better than you and can point out the mistakes you make, as our minds have the nasty habit of feeding us lies to preserve our current belief system. Outside help is usually needed to get things on the right track, but be warned that it can be one hell of a reality check, as our minds will tell us everything is "fine" even if we fuck up left and right.

I think that's enough ranting for me today. If you want more info or want me to explain things further, just drop a comment and I will do my best to answer.

Good luck :)

2015-11-05T17:31:02+00:00

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philosarapter · 2015-11-05T18:25:00+00:00

Hooking up in college is simple: Find a house party. Get drunk. Pick one girl you find attractive, tell her that and then ask if she wants to go make out somewhere. One thing leads to another, and boom sex.

Atleast thats how it worked for me in college. Bars are okay for picking up girls, but house parties make it 100x easier to meet and hookup.

2016-01-11T03:28:49+00:00

I don't know man. I seriously do not know. It just gets worse after college anyway. I'm 27 now and I'm just about tapping out.

I think the problem is that everyone on here is in the same boat.

Joeygnargnar · 2015-11-05T17:56:51+00:00

You're in luck my friend because I'm about to give you probably the most straight forward advice you can get to getting pussy in college . First off you have to acknowledge that the whole "looks aren't everything" is complete horse shit. Initially a woman wants a man she's somewhat attracted to. Looks and appeal get the chicks attention as well as charisma and confidence . Personality and common interest is what keeps a chick. Depending on your personality is where you want to adjust your game . Bar scene/college parties it's all about how good you look and how much energy , charisma, charm , and wittiness you have. Don't forget history only remembers the aggressive. Personally I'm a good looking introvert that had trained myself to have these characteristics cause my crew of boys are all sharks. If you're more laid back and introverted you're gonna want to meet a chick somewhere more adjusted towards your personality and interest. Ex rock shows or concerts or book stores if you like to read. First step before getting laid to know where you're strongest playing field is at . So analysis your personality and decide where you would feel the most confident . Always be introspective after an encounter with a woman and look for ways of improvement. This guide is gonna be broken down into several parts .

Give yourself the best chance possible with your looks and style (swagger)

Now Look at your strengths . Get your sex appeal going for you. You're 6'1 . That's great woman love a man with a great stature . And you don't have to be the most yoked guy in the room . But start working out and stay in shape . You're Arabic so use that to an advantage amongst the white community . Grow out your facial hair that your great beard genetics allow . Develop and find a style that suits you. Wear the right gear and clothes while still being yourself . Keep with good hygiene. Clean clothes, clean shoes , fresh hair cuts , finger nails always cut , and all the maintenance baby. Clean room too everything is a representation of yourself . No one likes a slob. When everything's clean you feel confident with yourself and it shows. Also express yourself . Let your personal expression of what you enjoy or what influences you to show through your style and own it. Baby I'm 5"9 and about 150 and I've probably crushed more pussy than some dudes if they've had 25 life times. And I'm not a douche I'm a realist. Know your strengths my man . Watch movies with main characters that crush puss and analyze their swagger and body language . See yourself and this confident man . But not like them but your own man.

Develop your character . Become the person that you are trying to attract . Everyone wants that special person that's attractive , affectionate , charismatic, witty , intellectual, interesting , intriguing , mysterious, playful, philosophical but doesn't want to become that person.

Develop yourself for yourself . Start reading books that are going to improve your personal growth . Start questioning everything . Explore new music and become more open minded . Start listening to podcast and explore new cinemas . I recommend joe rogans podcast . He's a cool ass dude and funny as hell. Become a cool mother fucker . Become that badass that you've always wanted to be. Be your own man. Reflect on all the negative and positive aspects about your personality and how you treat overs. Write them down and then work on them . Always stove for what I like to call your "final form" . Set goals for yourself . Dream and work on achieving them. Watch as you develop yourself how easy things seem to fall in place . Especially with woman . Woman gravitate towards positivity and confidence . Be the man when you walk into every room . And I don't mean be the man that has to exert his dominance on everyone . That's doing it all wrong . But be the man that everyone want to be around when you walk in a room .

Put yourself out there. Start interacting with people that you have common interest with. Join clubs at school. Get involved with classmates . Meet woman and Don't be afraid to pull the trigger . Find a cool group of friends. Don't force relationship either . Hangout with people that resonate with you .
Last but not least don't be afraid to pull the trigger . If you see a girl you want to approach do it . If you so happen to get an opportunity to be alone with a girl . Kiss her you puss ! Make the move . Remind yourself that you are on a planet that 6 billion years old in a universe that's infinite and expanding possibly due to the multiverse theory . Your small lifespan is minuscule compared to how long homosapiens have been walking around this floating thing which is around 200,000 years . But it's fuckin minuscule compared to the lifespan of this planet !! And you're probably 1/4 of the way through with your life . Pull the trigger when your body is telling you to pull it. Don't let your mind convince you not to do something .

If you need any advice on specific info just hit me up with a dm. Or hit me up on Instagram . Dm me for it. I don't mind helping guys like us because I was in your position before . Good luck brotha . Hope this helped a bit.

Mrroc · 2015-11-05T16:12:41+00:00

Walk up to every girl you see on campus and just say "I'm a Virgin and I don't want to finish college with my virginity... can I give you my virginity?" Girls dig getting propositioned, even if they say they don't

Title	21 year old virgin, last semester of college, tired of reading pickup books, heavy course load, how do I lose it? Need ideas.
Author	Lupinthefirst
Upvotes	16
Comments	21
Date	November 5, 2015 5:50 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3rlguw/21_year_old_virgin_last_semester_of_college_tired/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/21-year-old-virgin-last-semester-of-college-tired.1397098 https://theredarchive.com/post/1397098

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