Background: Me, 19yo virgin, in a fraternity (no its not a legendary fraternity where girls just come hella easy) with a kick ass friend group. Currently attending therapy, and working out to work past many issues. rated on /r/Rateme as a 6.5.

Story: Last night a friend invited me over to his apartment to come party. There were a few guys and girls there, one that was actually kind of cute.

We played against each other in beer pong, I was teasing her a bit, and we were having a good time.

Some friends hit me up to play ultimate Frisbee, and I invited them along.

They agreed, and we had a great time playing. The cute girl was always trying to find a way to cover me, touching me all the time, backing up her body into my mind, hella physical contact.

Later we all sat in a circle on the field and we were all talking and joking and she continued to keep touching me and looking at me, etc. I started to reciprocate.

We packed up and went to get some food, and she kept finding a way to work herself up next to me and kept touching. Like she just started hugging me and running her arms up and down me.

Now one of my buddies who you might consider more, "Alpha" than me was also trying to get at her a little bit.

While we were at dinner I asked him a question about where he gets his money, and he pulled me aside to tell me in private. After a brief discussion about that, he also asked me, "btw, are you into that girl? Because she hella likes you and wants you, and if you want her back I'll back off."

I told him I was interested in her, and and he was like "Cool bro, I'll back off, I know you don't get that many girls, she's really cute and into you, and I can pull other girls, its ndb." At this point he calls her over (I wasn't the biggest fan of this) and like motions for me to head out. I bounce out, hop in my car, and wait for her to head over because she was riding with me and several other friends. I didn't know this until later but apparently he told her that he thinks I like her, and he thinks she likes me, to which she agreed, and said she should give her number to me. She lets me park my car in her reserved spot for the night because she parked elsewhere.

We all live in the same apartment complex, so as we go our separate ways, I grab her and her friends phone number so I can invite them to a pre game we were having the next day.

The next morning I text her saying I had fun hanging out with her last night and thanking her for letting me use her car park. I also text her friend and say it was nice meeting her and hit her with a dumb inside joke.

A few hours later she responds (she was at work) and I hit her up reminding her of the pregame, to which she says she will attend.

A few hours pass, I'm getting a little turnt, playing beer pong. Her and her friend come in. I'm in the middle of a game, so I just kind of nod and wave when they come through.

I give my friend a celeb shot, grab a drink, hug her and her friend, then get back to the game.

Game ends, she's off somewhere, so I sit around and talk to her friend.

She eventually comes back, I just try to talk to her about shit I was the night before, and she was just really odd seeming. Like would just kind of simply address what I had to say, then would turn straight to someone else.

She kept doing shit like this the whole day (might be worth it to note she was kind of intoxicated).

Every once and a while she stopped by to talk, but it was still really weird. Definitely not natural.

We headed back to the complex to go our separate ways once again (she had to take care of her immensly drunk friend), and planned on getting our friend group back together for an after party at our place.

Everything kind of died down, so we called it off.

Later she texts me what happened to the after party, and explained the situation.

At this point my mind was telling me "Don't fucking do anything that might make her feel uncomfortable, just hide anything you actually wan't to do that she might not like"

I then realized that was part of my people pleasing behavior and realized that that was total bull shit.

So I hit her up and said something like, "Hey, I know we didn't talk much tonight, but do you want to go do something fun soon? I'm usually free on weekends."

To which she replies "Yeah! Totally down!" I give her my free days, to which she says "I'm pretty busy this week, but not busy next!"

To which I just say, "Cool, just text me and let me know!"

And she finally says "Okay, will do :)"

Questions: (will add more as I think of them)

I usually attract girls when I'm not even trying. Which is really cool, but when it comes time to close and make a move, I might try too hard.

But at the same time I feel like you have to try, because I always hear about how important intent and shit is.

So I have to ask, where is the line drawn between "trying too hard" and having "intent"?

Also, what do you do about tryhardness in general? I'm a real bad people pleaser and don't know what to do about it really.