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[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Honestly, online dating isn't a good way to get second dates. My ratio for second dates to first dates from online dating is insanely low partly because I'm working on my game still and another reason is because of the HUGE amount of variety from online dating. I also know what you mean about the sex. I had sex and then never heard from the girls again. I don't get it but it's whatever at this point haha.
My advice is to always try to kiss on the first date if you feel it. I don't do it all the time either but I try to if I feel like it's a good time to do it.
[–]SKDF13 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
If online dating isn't a good way, what is? I mean it's giving me good opportunities since I can't succeed to flirt with girls from parties/work/school/whatever. The last one I've "long" dated outside of dating apps was a crazy psycho bitch so I think the real problem is just people and not the ways people are using.
Still I find it very hard to kiss a girl that you've met IRL one hour ago, outside, and frankly if after that they still brush me off my self-confidence will fall to pieces haha.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It's true that gives you a bunch of opportunities but it also gives them a bunch! You can distinguish yourself better if you approach in person. I also fond that my personality is better known if I approach in person first. Online and in person personalities are different for me.
In regards to kissing, sometimes you just gotta go for it. See how they react when you touch them (don't go overboard with this either, it's something I'm still trying to get better at since I went overboard a lot at one point). If the girl is into it, there's a safe chance you can kiss her based on my experience.
[–]SKDF13 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Well I guess that's the opposite for me, I appear to be very confident online and more awkward in person. Maybe that's why they're running away but I guess I will never know since these bitches never tell me wtf is wrong. Oh well I guess next time I'll just kiss them out of nowhere, if I have the guts.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I have this same issue about being more confident online than in person sometimes. Just gotta get better man.
[–]sexualsidefx 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
You gotta work your way up to it. It shouldn't be out of nowhere. You gotta escalate gradually. I usually start by finding excuses to show her something on my phone, while our hands touch. Then like poking her on her bare legs. If she lets you touch her hair then you know it's on. Then you fuck her doggy style. You know, romance.
Wow that escalated quickly! I dunno if i'm too awkward or what but the only times I tried to be tactile, they seemed... unresponsive. I wonder if a final kiss is really the solution or if I must work on what's before that.
[–]sexualsidefx 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh yeah awkwardness will kill it. You just gotta get out of your head. Just remember She went out with you because she wants to get fucked. It can be weird since she hasn't really met you but you can tell by body language if she likes you. Like is she covering herself up, is she looking around the room, does she keep touching her hands, then you are fucking up. Then again I went out on dates where the gurl looked bored as shit and then I just asked 'want to go back to my place?' Yeah and then we fucked.
[–]MonkeyMannnn 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well there's your problem right there. You're so focused and dependent on the outcome (a mindset created by scarcity) that you lose sight of what you actually have to do to get a girl to bed. I lose sight of it on occasion, too, but when you're in that mindset no matter how hard or well you try to hide it, she's gonna notice and likely be turned off/maybe even creeped out. Find a way to meet and approach more women, tighten up your game, and get your head right.
[–]nowwhatjoe 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
I've been having a similar problem. I've gone out on several second and more dates, but the majority of these are with girls that I had or ended up having sex. I guess that not having second dates has to do with unmatched expectations and the illusion of choice that online dating apps provide. But I've been trying to improve my game to approach more in person and hopefully that will improve my date game as well.
I always go for kiss on the first date -- I'm selective when it comes to whom I take out. I'd say that 90% of the time we end up making out, but way too often I never hear from them again. I suspect this could be that I was being too forward and telegraphing my intentions too soon. I don't intend to change though.
[–]sexualsidefx 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
there's a missing piece of these stories. What did you do after the date? That could be the problem.
[–]nowwhatjoe 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
It varies. On first dates I always go for drinks because bars are a more low-pressure environment and siting together as opposed to across from a table facilitates kino escalation. Lately my first dates have been lasting around 3h, and we normally go to different venues. However, even so, I sometimes never hear from them again. What's really frustrating it's that sometimes I don't even get a text back saying thanks, but no thanks.
For second dates we normally do dinner or hiking. But as I said before, in the great majority of cases, if I go out with a girl more than once, we'll end up sleeping together. It's as if they've already made their minds, they're just waiting the time pass so they won't feel too easy.
[–]sexualsidefx 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yeah that just sounds like the nature of online dating. I wouldn't waste all day going on a hike on the 2nd date. just practice the three Fs. At peast you're getting laid.
Also I usually don't make out unless theyre in my house, it's a lot easier to fuck them that way.
[–]nowwhatjoe 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeah, making out when they're back at your place is probably better. How do you typically bring them over? What's the pretext?
For a drink, or to meet my dog. Sometimes I just ask if they want to go there. Why beat around the bush
[–]SKDF13 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
So if I take you to word, it means that regardless of someone's acting, they will be brushed off. Maybe the problem really is the girls. Hey at least you have a chance to start something with them. I'm at the point I could make out with anyone but it's kinda pathetic.
[–]nowwhatjoe 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
Not necessarily, but it's important to understand that there are a lot of variables that you don't control. You have to work to improve your date game, but that doesn't mean you'll get second dates 100% of the time. What I've been trying to do lately is to make my dates more entertaining by talking about stuff they probably wouldn't talk about on first dates. For example, most first dates will involve conversations about work, school, tv shows, music, etc. This is what everyone talks about and becomes too repetitive. You won't stand out if you do what all guys before you did. Even if the girl brings up these boring topics, she'll blame you for making the conversation feel boring. What I try to do instead is to use some game techniques like cold reading, and then talk about experiences and personal stuff -- their personalities and how unique they are. It's typically the easiest way to make a connection. Also, one question I normally ask is "how's been your experience with online dating?". They'll typically say it's been good -- even if it hasn't been -- but don't let them get off that easily. Ask them to elaborate, and talk about awful dates they have been to. Then, share some of your girl friends experiences (these girl friends could very well be girls who answered you this question before). Make it light and playful though. Once you're in this kind of topic, we can try to indirectly ask for feedback with questions like "what most guys do wrong on their first date?". Even if this date turns out to be unsuccessful, you'll still have a valuable source of feedback.
[–]SKDF13 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Didn't knew about cold reading, it seems interesting but hard to use! Now than you say it I've had some cases of dates where we were talking about our previous dates. But the feedback question is really nice, so I'll ask it next time. I guess the girl will unconsciously tell me what's wrong with me.
[–]dtothetwo 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
only 30 girls in 6 years? thats wacky man... why so few?
it has to be something you're doing wrong. you're either messing up the date. or you're messing up the setup to the next date. evaluate your techniques and methods.
So few? I think it's a lot, giving that before I used to talk a long time with them before meeting, like some weeks. Now I don't do that anymore.
Well, it's pretty clear that I'm messing with something haha, I just can't find exactly what. Maybe I'm just completely ugly or ininteresting.
[–]dtothetwo 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
meet up ASAP. establish a physical, and visual connection ASAP make it sensual. Put a face to the name.
Not interesting? No worries; talk about her. Women love to talk about themselves, they find themselves fascinating.
Ugly; do the best you can with what you have. Haircut, gym, diet, shave, nice clothes, good posture, fresh breath, body language. Every little bit helps.
A thousand small steps eventually add up to a lot of ground covered.
[–][deleted] 9 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
Haha yeah that would be the best solution, but as I stated I'm not the kind to rush things off, plus the only girls I've fucked were the ones where it was planned, like "hey let's have sex" then we met at my place. The other ones it was in a serious relationship optic. Of course I like to fuck girls but hey I can assure you it's very insulting that they can't see nothing else in me than my skills in bed.
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[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]SKDF13 0 points1 point2 points (7 children) | Copy Link
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