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A little rant of appreciation to this community

sevaskovah

November 26, 2016

26 upvotes

/r/seduction

So last night was kind of the final straw for me with this guy and I need to vent..but I also want to share my love and appreciation for conscious men like yourselves..

so not to get in it too much but basically we hooked up once and I felt a little weird about it because it happened so quickly and I just felt a little weird about the guy but pleasure is pleasure.Well my Gut served me right because this guy was shit..for instance... I'm all for Sexting and stuff like that but when I know you so little it tends to put a bad taste in my mouth(LOL).Especially if you're not a least a little classy about it. shit like "sit on my face" or " I wanna put you in weird positions tonight" just ehhhh sorry but no.. and I called him out on it and he says and I quote "after the night we had I can say whatever I want to you" of course he was being silly but I was NOT fucking around lol.in conclusion, I haven't pushed the block button so quickly before im my entire life

I just wanna thank you guys for making an effort to try to communicate better with women and the world around you. . Alrighty good night

Edit:Engriish, I wrote this on siri and was ultra irritated.

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Post Information

Title	A little rant of appreciation to this community
Author	sevaskovah
Upvotes	26
Comments	24
Date	November 26, 2016 2:57 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/5ezsei/a_little_rant_of_appreciation_to_this_community/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/a-little-rant-of-appreciation-to-this-community.1416107 https://theredarchive.com/post/1416107

Comments

[–]Overnight_Delivery 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]sevaskovah[S] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Aeon199 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (22 children) | Copy Link

[–]prozacrefugee 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link

[–]Aeon199 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheXXL 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

And there we go again... for the, what, thousands time?

Dude, it's fucking hard. Nobody wants to be seen as creepy or possibly rejected harshly.

I have been rejected harshly, i still live, so will you.

This is why I don't approach.. in one sense (empathic) it's not fair to women.

What is not fair to women? Not approaching them, even though i remember you telling us that you get looks from time to time? Yes, this is definitely not fair to them.

It's not fair for me to treat a public space as an environment to talk to women who probably don't want to be bothered.

Nah. It is stupid to try to read minds. The homo sapiens is not capable of doing so, so why do you still try to?

Although I must admit the greater concern is how it would affect me if I approached a lot of women and got nothing from it.

I like how you slowly start to get your problem, this gives hope that you will one day get up and work on yourself like you want for so long already.

It would then convince me that my limiting beliefs are correct: I'm socially inept, average looking at best, have no status, no value to offer, etc.

Well, there is only one way to find out, don't you think? And even if your first few approaches verify what you believe, who says it's impossible to change yourself? This whole thing comes down to two things: Willpower, and practice. Sure you might never be as good as Casanova, but you might be very surprised about how much you can do with the proper work behind it.

[–]Aeon199 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

What is not fair to women? Not approaching them, even though i remember you telling us that you get looks from time to time? Yes, this is definitely not fair to them.

I'm still feeling bleak and bitter from the depths of despair--last night, where I fell into the abyss emotionally--but I do like the positive spin you put on this.

Thinking on it more logically, though (and of course you won't like this part).. but it seems women generally want a social animal with more conventional looks. You know who these guys are.. they're the ones walking around outside of your local college or university. All of them look damn good, and very normal. And they're all available, too.

With so many options available to women, why would any girl be interested in a weird shy guy with an unusual look? (Picture Ray Romano, just shorter at only 5'9") I look similar to him, just not as tall. It's an atypical look and since I lack confidence altogether, that just makes it so much worse.

Well, there is only one way to find out, don't you think? And even if your first few approaches verify what you believe, who says it's impossible to change yourself? This whole thing comes down to two things: Willpower, and practice. Sure you might never be as good as Casanova, but you might be very surprised about how much you can do with the proper work behind it.

I was hoping you would have replied to my last post to you, about "women just wanting relationships" and how I can't make the grade. I explained the problem pretty well. You never replied, which tells me that I was probably right..

[–]TheXXL 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

I'm still feeling bleak and bitter from the depths of despair--last night, where I fell into the abyss emotionally--but I do like the positive spin you put on this.

I know how that feels, trust me, and the only way to overcome this is to think positive.

Thinking on it more logically, though (and of course you won't like this part).. but it seems women generally want a social animal with more conventional looks.

Too bad logic doesn't really apply in the mechanics of finding a sexual/romantical partner. People decide based off of their feelings, not logic. Sure, looks are the first thing people see of you, but looks also incorporate so much more than just body shape and facial features. Body language is a great influence on it. Smiling also. The colors of your clothes, are they fitting your body type, your hair style, hair color, beard/no beard, shoes and a thousand more little things that make one look.

Let's take me for instance. I am 39 years old. I shave my head clean since about 10 years now, because my hair is thin like shit. I have a dad bod, i am not muscular and i don't have facial features like a chiseled jawline. What i do have though, i am tall, i have broad shoulders, i have strong, dominant body language, like i say i shave my head, i have a full beard and even though this is a hindrance most of the times, i have a look on my face that tells men "don't fucking mess with me" and which tells women "i am a fucking alpha male". This all, with a pretty fitting clothing style, my overall body language makes me attractive to many women. When i then approach a group of people or just girls, they are friendly, maybe even a little bit intimidated, but when i talk to them they trust me very quick and like me.

All of this i had to learn, and i can tell you, even though i am not autistic, i was my whole life a lone wolf, still am to some degree, a real introvert. I learned to be extroverted though, took some time but i learned it.

You know who these guys are.. they're the ones walking around outside of your local college or university. All of them look damn good, and very normal. And they're all available, too.

Sure, you have competition, but those guys are only on the outside a competition for you. On the inside they might be shy, insecure and so many things more, and even this doesn't mean that all girls only want them. There are always tons of single women out there complaining about why they are still single.

With so many options available to women, why would any girl be interested in a weird shy guy with an unusual look? (Picture Ray Romano, just shorter at only 5'9") I look similar to him, just not as tall. It's an atypical look and since I lack confidence altogether, that just makes it so much worse.

A funny story i want to tell you. I mentioned already that i know a chilean girl, i am very close with her and we talk regularly. She always tells me how she falls for shy guys, and is always frustrated that they don't make the first move. She tries to, but she is so scared and insecure herself that she just can't...

I want to point out that she is a very cute and beautiful south american girl, and still single for almost as long as i know her, except the time she was with me. My point is that it is hard to explain why women are falling for certain men, and it is definitely not about looks, but the complete package you bring to the table. You say you look like ray romano, btw. i loved his sitcom, and as far as i know he is/was married, isn't he? Like i say, its not about looks, it's about the whole package, and you have all the power to shape that package. Start with your mental health and outlook on life. This will do you a great favor and gives you the necessary foundation to build on.

I was hoping you would have replied to my last post to you, about "women just wanting relationships" and how I can't make the grade. I explained the problem pretty well. You never replied, which tells me that I was probably right..

Sorry, i read much on seddit, but i don't read every post here, this one slipped through obviously. This also doesn't mean that i agree with you on that, so you should not confirm your opinion by a lack of differing opinions from anyone.

[–]Aeon199 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

A funny story i want to tell you. I mentioned already that i know a chilean girl, i am very close with her and we talk regularly. She always tells me how she falls for shy guys, and is always frustrated that they don't make the first move. She tries to, but she is so scared and insecure herself that she just can't... I want to point out that she is a very cute and beautiful south american girl, and still single for almost as long as i know her, except the time she was with me.

Was it more of a true LTR or kind of a friend-with-benefit type of thing? Just curious.

but the complete package you bring to the table.

If I'm limited socially by autism and wasn't blessed with the gift of brains, it doesn't really look I could even develop much of a package, though. How many women would be okay if I'm in my 30s with no career, no social circle, and so on? A guy in his 30s is generally expected to have a lot of value to offer, and yet I bring little-to-none.

And let me explain that I would be okay if I could just have intimacy for one night, or very rarely.. but the problem is, even if a woman mostly just wants sex, the whole thing is still framed as a "LTR" or "looking for the one" deal. You know how that works. You have to "date" and all that shit. And you have to pass that test, even if you're only looking for something short-term.

It kinda looks like I don't have any chance, you know.

[–]TheXXL 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Was it more of a true LTR or kind of a friend-with-benefit type of thing? Just curious.

It was more a short term relationship. At first she was very much in love, then after a month she went back to her country and we tried long distance for another 6 months or so, then we both decided it wouldn't work out. I was planning on moving to her country, just because i like the idea of living in a all year warm country, i was fed up of my country and i thought it would have been a fun adventure. This was planned for the following year if everything went well, but unfortunately things didn't work out on my side, so i am still stuck here hehe.

If I'm limited socially by autism and wasn't blessed with the gift of brains, it doesn't really look I could even develop much of a package, though.

This is your limiting belief system. You should be aware that no matter how much you think you are not capable of things, you still have potential you don't use already. We all have! well, except from brain damaged people of course.

How many women would be okay if I'm in my 30s with no career, no social circle, and so on? A guy in his 30s is generally expected to have a lot of value to offer, and yet I bring little-to-none.

And here we go again. You have internalized this belief so deep, and you repeat it on every possible occasion, that it has become the truth. This is called a self fulfilling prophecy. You will never be able to change that if you don't stop speaking this mantra to yourself on every possible occasion.

And let me explain that I would be okay if I could just have intimacy for one night, or very rarely.. but the problem is, even if a woman mostly just wants sex, the whole thing is still framed as a "LTR" or "looking for the one" deal.

No. This is absolutely wrong. At least women not always want that. I had FWB arrangements, and we were totally just friends who had sex. Not even once there was doubt in that we didn't want something serious. For instance my last FWB, she went into a serious relationship with another guy while we where fucking from time to time. She told me one day she was committed now, so our agreement didn't work anymore and we would go back to normal friendship again. I was cool with that actually, since i was getting bored of her anyways, sexually speaking.

You know how that works. You have to "date" and all that shit. And you have to pass that test, even if you're only looking for something short-term.

Nope, like i say, this is not the norm. You need to screen accordingly. For instance if you are only looking for fuckbuddies, look in online sites that are especially made for this. Here in Germany we have a sire called "Joyclub" and it is just for the purpose of finding one night stands, regular sex friendships and so on. Most of them are couples looking for a third person, girl or guy, to play with. Maybe something like that would be for you. Here we also have swinger clubs, sex parties etc. Sure, being a single man you have it hard with getting pussy, but if you become a regular in some kind of sex club, and you have some social skills, you will make friends pretty soon, therefore you could make it so that you have a female to accompany you to visit swinger parties etc. You only have to have imagination, then you will find so many things you can do to get what you want.

It kinda looks like I don't have any chance, you know.

Perspective my friend. There are plenty of those, a big amount of them are negative, many others are positive, and while all of them share one thing, being true, it is your choice which perspective you use. So, why do you chose a negative one, when there are so many positive ones?

[–]Aeon199 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

And here we go again. You have internalized this belief so deep, and you repeat it on every possible occasion, that it has become the truth. This is called a self fulfilling prophecy. You will never be able to change that if you don't stop speaking this mantra to yourself on every possible occasion.

What am I going to be able to change? I'm past 30 and not fit for college education and not able to handle much. My best may be a part time job and being able to keep my hobby at the same time. You don't understand a single thing about me, which is very clear from further on in your post, and I'll get to that...

Here in Germany we have a sire called "Joyclub" and it is just for the purpose of finding one night stands, regular sex friendships and so on. Most of them are couples looking for a third person, girl or guy, to play with. Maybe something like that would be for you. Here we also have swinger clubs, sex parties etc. Sure, being a single man you have it hard with getting pussy, but if you become a regular in some kind of sex club, and you have some social skills, you will make friends pretty soon, therefore you could make it so that you have a female to accompany you to visit swinger parties etc. You only have to have imagination, then you will find so many things you can do to get what you want.

Laughably bad suggestions. I guess you just like to fool around with me sometimes.

If you're honestly making those suggestions, then you have very poor understanding of the way I operate. If you think I should resort to utter sleaze. I have some pride in myself and there's none to be found in resorting to being some "third guy" for couples who want that shit. I could have done that many times already if I wanted to, there's plenty of that going on in Craigslist (shudders) and I've used that site. I've been offered and almost "begged" to participate with couples there (they didn't even see my picture) and I'm not fucking doing that, it is pathetic.

Other things I'm not doing: I'm not going to Swingers clubs.

I think you need to either think more before you reply, or show me some respect.

This sentence right here shows you have no understanding of what it's like to be a socially awkward autistic guy:

but if you become a regular in some kind of sex club, and you have some social skills, you will make friends pretty soon,

You expect I'm just going to head to a sex club and become a regular?

shakes head

[–]prozacrefugee 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]Aeon199 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]prozacrefugee 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]Aeon199 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]prozacrefugee 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]Aeon199 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link

You don't understand a fucking thing about autism and all the many ways it destroys a man's ability to attract women.

Men with autism, even Asperger's..

are often disabled in one or more ways
often do not work, or if they do, it's bottom of the barrel jobs. Do not be swayed by the brilliant scientist myth, this is a very low % of autistics taken as a whole
do not usually speak fluently
do not show relaxed body language, due to sensory sensitivity causing permanent anxiety
do not enjoy group social situations and tend to actively avoid them
do not enjoy high stimuli (bars/clubs) environments because of sensory problems
do not achieve anything, because of executive dysfunction

If you didn't understand this basic stuff, you do now, and hopefully you won't bother guys like me with your optimistic fluff anymore.

[–]prozacrefugee 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]sevaskovah[S] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]sevaskovah[S] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Aeon199 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]sevaskovah[S] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]paladin400 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link