Managing my rotation

recyclablebanthas · 2017-04-18T05:48:49+00:00

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When the inevitable question arises "what are we?" ....I've lost a couple great girls because if my poor response to this question.

James Marshall did a really good talk on this very subject. (He starts his example of the talk around 27:35, but lays out when you give the talk from 25:47-27:35.)

And the upshot is, some girls won't be up for it. But more of them might be up for it, than you think. You just have to have the Talk before emotions become elevated. On that note, be aware that any sorts of public displays of affection like holding hands, or doing boyfriend/girlfriend-like things, will confuse the issue pretty damn fast.

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Any tips for remembering specifics about girls? I fuck up sometimes by saying the same things to the same girls. Also sometimes I'll say "didn't we do...." when in fact it was a different girl I had done that with.

Yeah, that shit sucks. lol. Take notes. Or concentrate on what you're about to say and make sure it relates to the one you're with.

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Would I be better off to focus my attention on 1-3 girls and stop going on dates with new girls?

That's up to you.

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If I really like a girl I'm finding it hard to want to go exclusive with her. I want to stay single and keep on my mission of bettering myself and approaching. My parents and family want me to settle down. All my.friends are getting married etc. I'm 28. Should I be more concerned with finding a girl and letting all the others go?

Let's unpack this a bit.

If you want to stay single, stay single. It's your life. Not your family's. Not your friends.
It's not necessarily bettering yourself to date casually. It may fit your goals at the moment but this may change.
Only you can say whether you really want to go exclusive with a girl. It sounds like you don't really want to and it's just peer pressure at the moment that is pushing you that way. You're going to be unhappy if you decide based on what your family wants or what your friends are doing.
Your age doesn't matter. We have more than enough humans on the planet; it's not as if you need to repopulate the Earth. What matters is what you want.
(Side-note: You ought to have at least one social circle populated with non-married people, unless you want to slowly drive yourself crazy with constant comparisons to people whose values are different from yours. Hash runs, social partner dances, couchsurfer meets, meet-up apps, etc. Find a good group like one of these, that has a lot of single people in it.)

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I've been having wayyyy more success with this approach. I've been finding that I can be more myself on dates with girls. I don't really care if they don't like me because I've got other girls who do and can't wait to see me etc.

This is a potentially precarious position to place yourself in. True DGAF-ness comes from yourself, not simply because you have a lot of girls you happen to be dating now. If you could be alone and only dating one girl and still feel the same, then you're in a stronger position. Right now, it's too dependent on the external factor of whether those other girls are there.

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I'm just having a hard time because it seems most girls want to be exclusive. I've found a couple who don't and just want to fuck but I've lost a couple because I "couldn't commit"

Trying to figure out if "most girls" want this or that, is a distraction. Some will always want to settle down. Some will want to fuck around, at least right now. You only find out as you interact with them. Worrying about it beforehand is a waste of your time.

Those couple who didn't want casual sex, also lost you. ;) This is a two-way street and there's nothing wrong with you or them for wanting different things. That's part of what dating is: trying people on and seeing if they fit your life, values, etc.

Jacob_961 · 2017-04-18T13:22:35+00:00

Seek out JMULV. He has good advice when it comes to rotations. Regarding settling down, it is a personal choice. There are certain deal breakers some women have, polygamy is one of them. If you want the girls to stay with you despite your unwillingness to commit, you have to be really valuable to the girl. The girl has to be better off having an unattached relationship with you than a commited relationship with someone else which is hard to pull off long term.

failatsomething · 2017-04-18T17:10:07+00:00

So I've been in game for a couple years now. Recently I've found it easier to get up a decent rotation of girls. Using tinder and night game. Sometimes it's as low as 0 but I average 2-3 at a time now. Right now I've got a solid 4 with 1-2 day 1s coming up this week. It's really hard to make time for them all so I hang with them on average once a week.

Good work man. A lot of the concepts that you applied in picking up these women will apply in managing the relationships. Eg framing, clear intent, leading. I will show how these apply when I answer your questions.

When the inevitable question arises "what are we?" Or "I want to go exclusive" I've been having a hard time handling my response to my question as I want to keep seeing them but not exclusively. I've lost a couple great girls because if my poor response to this question.

I have experience managing harems. One month ago I made my main girl of 9 months my exclusive girlfriend. At that time, I was seeing about 9 other women at different stages in relationships (I had to break up with 2 when I went exclusive, some were fuck buddies every 2-3 weeks). I write this to give some context and some credibility, because I can relate to your situation.

The policy that worked best for me was complete honesty. This was the case for every type of relationship (fuckbuddy, primary, girlfriend).

When I say complete honest, I mean the way you act, the things you say, and your own expectations.

Lead the relationship with your actions.

Even with my main chick, I would only see her once a week, twice TOPS, and I would only talk to her maybe one other time during the week (a few texts back and forth). I'd go on dates with her occasionally. No flowers, no gifts. She wasn't my girlfriend and I didn't want her to be my girlfriend.

With fuck buddies, similar. I would see them once a week MAX. Small dates until we bang, maybe a drink at a dive bar after that otherwise just meeting each other at home. No cute texts. Logistics, maybe an occasional sext to prompt logistics.

When the "what are we" or "it feels like we only have sex" I advocate the blunt honest approach. This makes it very clear what you want, what you are willing to provide, and where the relationship will not go. Some girls will still think they can sway you into more, but if you are clear in your verbal and aren't leading on in your nonverbal (you're not seeing her more than once a week) you shouldn't have much trouble maintaining your relationship.

I have found that women have been ok with me defining the relationship. "You're right. This relationship is mostly just sex. That's what I'm interested in right now, and I like what you and I have together, and I'm not looking for more than that." One girl responded, "Ok, but can you pretend I have a brain when we're together?"

I was surprised by how welcoming women were of this approach. Honesty is a sexy quality. She would rather share a sexy man than have a loser to herself.

Any tips for remembering specifics about girls? I fuck up sometimes by saying the same things to the same girls. Also sometimes I'll say "didn't we do...." when in fact it was a different girl I had done that with.

lol I've fucked this up so many times. Key is not being affected. Maintain your frame. Laugh it off or ignore it. If she pushes, say "I had a similar conversation the other day" and move the fuck on. Remain unaffected.

Would I be better off to focus my attention on 1-3 girls and stop going on dates with new girls?

Nah. Flirting with new girls is fun. Do whatever you want, but be honest about it.

If I really like a girl I'm finding it hard to want to go exclusive with her. I want to stay single and keep on my mission of bettering myself and approaching. My parents and family want me to settle down. All my.friends are getting married etc. I'm 28. Should I be more concerned with finding a girl and letting all the others go?

You should not be concerned at all about what others think. Do what you want. It's more noble to reach your personal goals than to change to fit others expectations. Plus, it's sexy.

I've been having wayyyy more success with this approach. I've been finding that I can be more myself on dates with girls. I don't really care if they don't like me because I've got other girls who do and can't wait to see me etc. I'm just having a hard time because it seems most girls want to be exclusive. I've found a couple who don't and just want to fuck but I've lost a couple because I "couldn't commit".

My guess is you're a bit of a romantic. I am too and that's fine, even for the harem. I put my all into a relationship when I'm in the moment, with her. But when I'm not with her, I do a great job stepping back and managing the relationship through my distance.

You have to understand what you're saying to women, even when you aren't saying anything. More than once a week, cute texts, shit like that is monogamy shit. Don't do it if you don't want monogamy.

joomla00 · 2017-04-18T17:20:04+00:00

If you're great in bed and have that aura that you always have women in your life, some will understand and keep chasing. You have to understand some girls really are looking to settle down, especially at your age. They don't want to waste time, so if you don't see them as such, just be straight with them and don't waste their time. As a woman, they are headed towards scary territory (30 and single, esp if they want kids). Just enjoy the time you had together, its not a loss.
I'm usually pretty good with this, but i would imagine having less girls in your rotation would help.
Sounds like you want to keep getting better on your game, rather than looking for a relationship. In that case, keep looking for new girls, and drop some if you need to. If you stay with 1-3 girls, you'll lose your focus and start getting comfortable, which will inevitably lead you in the direction of a relationship.
That's your call, you have to figure out what's important to you. But don't do it because others are telling you. Im 35 and people have been hounding me for years to do the traditional thing (and its f'in annoying now). I'm not the traditional type, but i also just haven't met the right girl, and life has just gotten better and better (this current one i'm dating though could be a game changer). I could only imagine what life would be like if i settled for any of my exes. Sounds like you don't have problem meeting women, so just keep dating. When you find the right one, you'll know.

the_christian_grey · 2017-04-18T23:32:00+00:00

Good questions. I went over this in detail in a recent post:

http://www.christiangreypua.com/date-multiple-girls/

As for how many girls, that really depends on the level of time and effort you want to devote to them. For me, I think I would go crazy having more than 3 at a time. But I also have a lot of other commitments on my time. Even if you cap yourself though, that doesn't mean you have to stop gaming. You can always keep working on your game and get rid of your existing girls when you find higher quality replacements.

Title	Managing my rotation
Author	jefffffffff
Upvotes	6
Comments	11
Date	April 18, 2017 5:25 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/660yku/managing_my_rotation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/managing-my-rotation.1423499 https://theredarchive.com/post/1423499

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