We've all been there. You meet a girl. It's on. Chemistry. Make plans. She's really into you. Exchange numbers. Then she flakes. A lot has been written about this. We all hate flakes. It's an annoying part of the game. Just noticed how much inaccurate info is out there on the subject. It's actually very simple.

 

first the myths:

 

"If she flaked on you that means she wasn't attracted to you. Try making plans with a less attractive female and she won't flake." This is false. Flaking has little to do with her or your appearance.

"You need to spend more time with her before making plans so she feels comfortable." This is again false. The amount of time you spend with her when you meet has little to do with whether she's gonna flake or not.

 

Consider these two scenarios. Guy A is attractive. Tall. Confident. Stylish. Meets a girl name Ashley at a bar. Flirts with her. Touches her. She says she works at a dealership, she sells cars. He says ha I just bought one this morning, and he shows her his brand new Benz on his phone. He then makes her laugh. Asks her out. She introduces him to her girlfriends. He charms them and makes them laugh. Then he pulls Ashley aside to the other side of the bar and has a drink with her. They hit the dance floor. He's got nice moves. He flirts some more, holds her hand and they end up making out for a bit. He smiles. She blushes. They make plans to grab dinner this week. He texts her so she has his number. He says "I'm looking forward to getting to know you on Wednesday" and kisses her goodbye, smiles and walks away.

 

Then she flakes. He can't believe it. "What did I do wrong?".

 

Guy B meets Ashley at a bar. He's average looking. Very chill. Doesn't flirt. Doesn't show interest in meeting her friends. Doesn't show her anything on his phone. Because he doesn't have to. Guy B believes that he is giving her a rare opportunity at a face to face time with him. She should be grateful he is willing to have a conversation with her and look her in her eyes. Guy B doesn't work hard. Because he's not a clown. He leads her to the dance floor, sort of out of boredom. He's not depressed at all but he's not smiling non-stop or making an effort. They chat for a bit but he couldn't care less. He makes her laugh once accidentally. He's clearly very comfortable in her presence and all the touching feels very natural. Like he's with his girlfriend. He asks her where she lives. She says "blah blah". Blah blah is like 30 min away. He says oh, well if you lived closer I would have taken you out. She immediately counters with that's like only a 20 min drive. He asks ( possibly a bit annoyed ) if she has a car. She says she drives. He goes ok when is your night off. She says tomorrow. ( etc you get the picture.. ). He doesn't kiss her goodbye, because he's not really that attracted to her at that point. She needs to work a bit more to seduce him. He might give her a chance on Wednesday.

 

Yes Ashley will flake on guy A to hang with guy B on Wednesday.

 

tldr; if you're putting in work when you meet you already lost. No matter how attractive you are she might flake. If you make her work she won't flake.