The counter argument to "Living a good life" and why we really do need pickup.

DirkDieGurke · 2017-05-24T07:14:28+00:00

This is valid. I'm curious to see what comments are made. I've seen some total losers with hot girls... and I'm like WTF.......?

nisaniquett · 2017-05-24T09:28:26+00:00

You are absolutely right. Julian Blanc and lots of other pickup artists mentions this issue.

People thinks that firstly they need to improve on something then act, but in fact its the opposite, you have to act first then you will improve in the process.

You can't wait and take your time to improve in all areas of life to go after the women you want. Its stupid as fuck.

Of course its better to try to get a job if you don't have or start working out and get fit if you are overweight, but you can't wait for the right circumstances. You have to dive in.

TunechiOnYoTunaFish · 2017-05-24T11:56:58+00:00

Nobody ever said you have to be a kale-smoothie drinking millionaire with ripped abs and juggling 15 hobbies. Women don't expect us to be Richard Branson. What they do expect is that we have some idea of who we are, what we're about, and what we are working toward.

Are there coked out jobless losers with nothing going for them who get laid a lot? Yes.

Are there severely overweight guys who bang supermodels 4 nights a week? Yes.

Do these scenarios happen often enough to where they should be our model for success? Absolutely not.

We are all here because we are not getting laid as much as we'd like to. I'll bet you anything the coked out loser has a delusional sense of masculinity (which is great for him) so he makes a "good" (cocky) first impression on those he meets, and that he doesn't get much other than low value women who are also involved in a lot of drugs and probably have no yardstick for a sexual partner other than extreme masculinity. If that's what you want, by all means, feel free to quit your job, start doing a bunch of coke, lay around on your couch all day, and see where that gets you. Go out and try it, and report back your results.

Likewise, if you're very overweight and want to stay that way, go for it. Own it. Be proud of it, and go out and game in that shape. I'm 5'11" and 227. I was 260, and I'm still actively losing. In my experience, and I'm guessing that of most other guys who've lost some weight, is that game is way less punishing and more fun at a lower body fat percentage. The "fat CEO" or "fat comedian" who get laid constantly are the exception, not the rule. In general, being fat is a handicap in game.

I am right there with you that we should all find ways to start now while we are in the position we are in. Do what we can, with what we have, where we are. Like pretty much all the RSD guys say (especially Tyler), the first year, go out. Just go out. That's the only way we're even going to get decent and break our AA. That part's necessary. But rather than sitting around watching a ton of videos and reading blogs and forums all day trying to learn specific techniques and openers when we are broke, out of shape, have nothing going for us, and nothing interesting to talk about with a woman when we do meet one, our time would likely better be spent becoming a man who a beautiful woman considers worth meeting.

2017-05-24T10:09:51+00:00

This is a false dichotomy.

You still get good women without a perfect life, just the quality rises with the quality of your life. That's why the advice here is to focus on building your life, NOT ONLY your game. It's never said that you should build ONLY your life and NOT AT ALL your game.

Also, the goal here is not to sleep with a lot of women of all kinds of quality, but to build a good life AND to have sex with high quality women. Quality over quantity is the motto, not the other way round.

Drug addicts that play the numbers game get laid a lot with low quality hot women. They might be hot, but they are also crazy, not reliable, will screw you over once they see an opportunity to get drug money etc.
Normal guys that play the numbers game get laid a lot with average quality hot women. They might be hot and sweet, but they might be reall needy, boring, insecure.
High Quality guys that play the numbers game get laid a lot with high quality hot women, who are hot super confident, high ambition, a sex maniac with awesome hobbies and an awesome job.
If you have a shit life, you will never attract women who come from a good family, have an education, sane friends, and a job that pays very well.

ToxicRocketry · 2017-05-24T12:59:33+00:00

Pretty good post.

I see there are already a few people here who missed your main point.

SyrusDrake · 2017-05-24T15:54:30+00:00

I'm kinda with you on this one. I might have worded it differently but I agree, generally. Yea, self improvement, working out, finding interesting hobbies, being financially stable are all important and things that are important for a relationship (or even just a one night stand). But the thing is...there are already subs for that. I come here because I can't interact with women in a non-platonic way and telling me to live a rich, fulfilling life isn't gonna fix that. You could be the most interesting, happy, zen guy in the world but if you, like me, see women like an alien species, you're still gonna end up alone.

TheBetterManZA · 2017-05-24T18:38:57+00:00

There's an interesting discussion on The Purple Pill subreddit, I think it's about how hard it is for the average man to get laid, when someone pointed out something connected to this:

but shoot cocaine in his past time...

I know it's not the point of your post, but that discussion and this sentence highlights how if you are involved in the party/drinking/drugs scene, you don't need game. As long as you're not completely unattractive, just go out, get high/drunk, and find someone who is also on the same wavelength as you, it's pretty easy to get some action.

This is especially important when it comes to drug use. Every single guy I know who is involved in drugs gets laid or some kind of action with girls regularly. One of them is a weekend warrior (regular guy during the week, parties hard some weekends), and the other is a broke ass hippy guy who people like so they share with him (weirdly enough this guy is still a virgin, but he gets a lot of BJs so as far as I'm concerned it still counts). Similarly, but to a slightly less potent degree, this applies to women who are heavy drinkers. There's a reason why the saying "drunk chicks are easy" exists.

Obviously there are risks engaging with women in either of the above scenarios (consent, STDs, etc, etc) so I'm not advocating using this as a strategy to get laid (I specifically stay away from both very drunk and/or high girls). I'm simply pointing out that these spaces exist and a lot of people choose to get involved in them because girls in these spaces tend to be more open minded when it comes to sex.

Tying into the OP's point, I think people who are either "losers", poor, or mentally unstable, tend to be very present in that they're not thinking about what they can lose. They're simply thinking about what they can gain when presented. This means more risks, which in turn means more sex.

So tying this all together: I am taking steps forward, but for myself. Weightlifting? Yes, it helps with the ladies, but also, I watched many people get old and die. They didn't take care of their bodies and it fucked them in the end. Money? For myself, but also coz I got a bunch of cool friends who are not that well off. I ain't handing out my cash to them but I like to invite them over for dinner, or treat them to a meal at a restaurant or whatever the fuck I feel like doing. Also need money for some creative projects I want to get off the ground. Women? I don't waste time, even if it means they bail on me before I get any action. I make sure they know exactly where I stand before I stick my dick in them.

derpyderpderpp · 2017-05-25T01:06:21+00:00

dysfunctional people who have a multitude of problems, some of which you wouldn't even imagine, BUT WHEN IT COMES TO WOMEN, THEY SLAY.

This is pretty interesting. What is the quality of the women they are sleeping with?

2017-05-25T02:49:14+00:00

You only need as much pussy to satisfy you. If you're worried about numbers or how much you get compared to your friends, you're doing it wrong.

Transformationalpsyc · 2017-05-25T05:08:47+00:00

more that anything the live a good life advice is a clever rationalization to avoid rejection

Woujo · 2017-05-24T12:39:52+00:00

You don't need to learn pickup when you're jacked as fuck

I don't know about others, but I never said you don't need to learn pickup. There are definitely some things about pickup that you need to know, which is why I think ALL guys should learn it. But to become attractive to women, you need to have an awesome life. It's 95% having a cool life, 5% learning the "tricks" of pick-up. Being good at pickup doesn't make women like you, it just makes you less likely to fuck it up when they do. Women like you for who you are, not what lines or routines you used on them.

What about those people that don't have a job, car, hobbies, doesn't go to college, has no drive to become better, is overweight, still lives with his mom, and does nothing but shoot cocaine in his past time...ect ect.... BUT HAS NO PROBLEM GETTING GIRLS OR GETTING LAID for that matter??

There are plenty of "losers" that get laid, but none of them are complete losers. Either they are good looking, or they have some kind of cool hobby they do, or they have a good personality, or something. I don't know any complete losers getting laid.

Even if they did .... so what? Nobody denies that having a cool life is better and more attractive than having a shitty life, so why wouldn't you always want to make your life better? I mean, the whole point of your post seems to be "don't worry about making your life better," which is stupid.

Also, a lot of "losers" get laid because they have fake confidence. Either they are delusional, or they get their confidence from weird things people don't see, or they've just always had a confident personality. But you can't reliably teach people to have fake confidence. I tried to "fake" confidence for myself for years and I couldn't. Confidence is a complicated thing, and it's a lot easier to just have the real thing rather than try to fake it.

Also, sometimes "losers" get laid because they run into damaged girls that just want drugs, a "loser" that be their servant, or an ugly guy that she know won't go anywhere. Some girls are depressed and are attracted to other depressed guys. It runs the gamut.

I think this shift in mindset to "Just improve yourself and go out" is misleading a lot of people out there.

NOBODY IS SAYING DO NOT LEARN PICK UP.

Your entire post is based on a false assumption.

he whole point of pickup I think is that You are already that which you seek. Everything you need to get women is fundamentally already something you inherently posses.

That's not the whole point of pickup. That's not even true. It's a lie that PUA coaches sell guys. You're a fat, poor, balding, loser that lives in his mom's basement? Don't worry, buy my ebook and you can fuck Victoria's Secret models.

IT IS A LIE. Ultimately at the end of the day, women are attracted to attractive guys with good lives. And a lot of those "losers" you point to aren't keeping the girls they get.

Pickup just exposes the dynamics of how to attract women and what tools you already have. Think about it; we are, most of us, naturally attracted to girls...would it be ludicrous to assume the opposite is also true as well?

False again. Most of us are not attracted to fat girls and most girls are not attracted to loser guys. I would rather go home and masturbate than bring home a fat girl.

Another question to ask is...what about before pickup even existed? Were your grandparents or great grandparents or great great grandparents ripped and juicy as hell, and were the best of the best in every way in life that they got women?

This point actually works against your argument. Pickup didn't exist for most of human history, yet attractive guys got laid and losers didn't. Pickup is just working on some of your smaller quirks, not building a blueprint for an overall strategy.

My point is that you don't have to have a gazzillion dollars and be jacked as hell.

For some girls, you do. And for every girl, it helps. I can't see why you would deny this.

Next time you see another guy with an attractive girl, ask yourself "Is he an upcoming millionaire who regularly goes to the gym every week, etc, etc, and has his life together?" Because chances are, he is no where near what we've been describing as the dude who THEORETICALLY has no problem getting girls.

Your whole post is essentially "hey man, it's ok to be a loser."

Don't fall into that mindset.

Title	The counter argument to "Living a good life" and why we really do need pickup.
Author	MadMontux
Upvotes	25
Comments	12
Date	May 24, 2017 6:43 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/6d0hk0/the_counter_argument_to_living_a_good_life_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/the-counter-argument-to-living-a-good-life-and-why.1425132 https://theredarchive.com/post/1425132

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