You've been seeing someone for a short period of time. They end up saying they are not attracted to you, you go on separate ways and never talk again. Is it possible, after a considerable period of time (few months at least), to try again, and this time, making them be attracted to you?

2017-05-27T18:28:48+00:00

She's a troubled person, I don't suggest carrying her baggage.

2017-05-27T15:50:53+00:00

Definitely yes if you can spike her emotions and make her chase you.

You can try for the "reference experience", it will definitely improve your game, but I wouldn't put too much emotional investment into, since she doesn't seem like relationship material to a high value man.

alphabachelor · 2017-05-27T18:47:05+00:00

Her loss. Move on. Learn, grow and become a better man. So better that if your paths ever cross again, she will regret her decision. In the meantime, find other women.

Woujo · 2017-05-27T15:14:22+00:00

You've been seeing someone for a short period of time. They end up saying they are not attracted to you, you go on separate ways and never talk again. Is it possible, after a considerable period of time (few months at least), to try again, and this time, making them be attracted to you?

Yes. Anything is possible. It is also possible for you to invent a time machine and go back and kill Hitler. It's just not probable and in this case, it's definitely a waste of your time.

Long story short - been dating a girl with a lot of trust issues and a long string of disappointments with men in her life for a really intensive 3 weeks.

I haven't read the rest of your post but I can guess why are you writing this. She (or you) is blaming her lack of attraction based on this mental bullshit and you think if you can just "fix" her she will like you again. No. That's not how it works. You're not her therapist and it's none of your business why she's crazy. All you can go on is that she doesn't like you. Girls say this stuff sometimes to make themselves feel less bad for wanting to fuck some other guy rather than you.

She ended it saying she's not emotionally ready for a relationship right now and that she isn't/cant be attracted to me (or to anyone else) at the moment.

I believe that she isn't attracted to you. But she is probably attracted to SOMEBODY. Again, this is stuff women say (usually to needy guys) to make themselves feel better for rejecting them.

We already got physical (no sex tho as she wanted to wait with it and explicitly stopped me when I did try), so it's not a case of not escalating.

Yeah it's a case of she doesn't like you.

(full story can be read here, beware, it's long: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/6az6nh/the_girl_23f_i_was_dating_for_an_intensive_3/)

Not reading it.

I know I've made some (read: many) mistakes during the time we were dating, and I've been trying to address and learn from them (I currently read Mark Manson's "Models" which I find great).

One of the problems with PUA is that it makes guys think that seduction is some type of science and if they fail it's because they made "mistakes." You may or may not have made mistakes, but sometimes a girl just doesn't like you. And when a girl really likes you, you can make mistakes all day and she will still like you.

My question is: from your experience, is it possible/worth it trying to contact her again in few months (not saying I'm "waiting" for her or anything, I'm already seeing other girls, I'll only do it if I'm single at the time), start in a manner "from fresh", and with all that I've learned, make it "right" this time, and get her to be attracted to me?

It is possible but chances are that she will reject you again and when she does, your ego will take a crushing hit. You can say the "I'm seeing other girls" thing all day, but if she is occupying enough of your thoughts and feelings to even want to contact her in a few months, that's too much. Move on and in this case, it sounds like you got some oneitis so you should probably do the full no contact/block on social media thing.

Cybralisk · 2017-05-27T18:17:15+00:00

In my experience once a girl has made up her mind that she isn't into you, then it's made up. Nothing in the world is going to change that.

CollaterLDamage · 2017-05-27T18:29:58+00:00

yeah. but it requires a change in character. its the same rules for the freindzone. to get out the freindzone, you need to stop being her friend.

if you go back and your the same person she remembers, guess where your going?

a new person gets new chances

WayneDaniels · 2017-05-27T18:57:10+00:00

Go and live an amazing and fun filled life. In doing so, you will either find someone who is into you or she ("ex") will see your awesome life and may reconsider. But for the most part you have to live for you and not be pathetic and pine over someone who has rejected you for whatever reason. Been there, done that. Living an amazing life while she files restraining orders against her latest ex.

luaudesign · 2017-05-27T22:56:52+00:00

Yes but why bother? There's billions more women out there.

chachaChad · 2017-05-28T14:10:54+00:00

No! One strike rule! She's not fucking into you and she's never going to be and even if she was she's broken. That's just misery. Find new women.

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