Can’t get over my fear

DaygameCode · 2024-02-11T23:40:28+00:00

Your ego thinks: “_Hold on, she is probably not gonna like you_” but don’t stop there, keep listening to the rest of what your ego is saying.

“If we go there, we are going to get confirmation that she doesn’t like you proving my suspicions right, but if we refuse to approach her, we could always tell ourselves that maybe she could have liked us if we just approached her, which is a better feeling than straight up getting confirmation that she doesn’t, because at least that leaves room for hope allowing our self esteem to remain intact and preserve our illusion of self-worth that we built to protect us

The problem with this mindset is that while it shields you from short term discomfort and depression, it stops you from growing, developing your skills and causes you to lose opportunities and in the long run , the consequences will depress you anyways.

You need to make peace with being rejected, you need to make peace with getting confirmation that the majority of girls you like will like you back romantically or sexually. That’s ok, it’s the same for everyone else, you just have to be humble to accept it’s and not take it personal. It’s not about you, it’s simply a part of life.

Take in mind that rejecting is also difficult for women, they feel bad because they know how painful that must be if you take it personal, so they try to soften the blow more often than not.

It’s not an insults, they are not even evaluating your worth because they don’t actually know you, they just simply have other circumstances, priorities, types or simply do not click with you. A girl rejecting you is not an evaluation of your worth.

TonyDCoaching · 2024-02-11T21:06:33+00:00

To lose your fear you need to do immersion therapy. That means subjecting yourself to the fear that triggers the emotional/adrenaline response. It's the same as jumping off a high dive. The first ten times it causes adrenaline, and your little voice says 'Don't do this, you don't have to do this." But you have enough anecdotal evidence to know if you just keep your feet pointed straight down you won't get hurt.

So you don't think. You just step off.

Stop thinking, start doing. That's the only way.

You can use a small meditation to lower your hesitation. I call the Fearless Approach Blueprint. TLDR it's an infield meditation technique. It's a free ebook. It would just take way too long to type it all out here.

bufffrog · 2024-02-11T22:32:40+00:00

What is the worst thing that can happen if you get rejected??? Will your body cease to function?

Stop thinking about approach from a female perspective and just do it.

Stop wallowing about why are the way you are, make a conscious decision to be who you want to be and start acting like it. From this moment on, stop thinking about how inadequate you are, and think about how amazing you are and why you should take your pick from the women you meet.

If you don't feel amazing, start becoming amazing.

At that point whenever you are rejected you are weeding out women with bad taste.

TRTGymBro · 2024-02-11T22:12:28+00:00

Stop demanding from yourself to succeed in every interaction. In other words stop telling yourself you ABSOLUTELY MUST have a positive outcome.

HabitualBaller · 2024-02-11T22:06:09+00:00

Exposure therapy is the only way. I’ve been reading all these posts and overanalyzing things but like Tony said the only way through it is to do it. I somehow forgot that which is weird because I had anxiety walking in the mall by myself or the store and got over that by doing it and now it’s like nothing.

letsgetwizzyy · 2024-02-11T23:02:26+00:00

lol well a hospital is new. In essence, you conquer your approach anxiety by literally just doing it. You have to accept that most women you talk to won't like you (totally normal), and that rejection is not a big deal. Also, there is no better feeling than the feeling you get when conquering your fears (approaching women) even if you get rejected.

I conquered my approach anxiety by reframing how I went about this. firstly, I wanted to become a guy who could walk up to a group of women and approach them and pull the one I wanted. Additionally, I wanted to become more masculine, so I looked at conquering this fear through the leans of becoming more masculine. Because as men, we must conquer our fears, and that includes the fear of approaching women.

You set up a date by getting her number and asking what her availability is to go on a date. You can do whatever you want to do, just be decisive and don't let her decide.

This article goes into more detail about how to conquer your fear of approaching women: https://open.substack.com/pub/jackedguy/p/how-to-conquer-your-fear-of-approaching?r=31tj3q&utm\_campaign=post&utm\_medium=web

Dandys3107 · 2024-02-12T08:09:49+00:00

It's completely natural and normal to be anxious if you have little experience about the thing or there are no promising odds. That's why you should keep practicing these first easy steps to become comfortable with interacting with people (coming closer, getting eye contact, smiling, then maybe some casual small talk). Also, you should become receptive to positive feedback, pay very close attention to girl's reactions and mood overall. Next thing, approach more to get to know the girl, not to convince/force her to anything. And lastly, about preparing a date, just figure out circumstances where it would be easy to get little intimate, talk freely and form some unique connection. It's all about your moves, place and activities are just a background.

zuperfly · 2024-02-13T10:19:05+00:00

Go outside

Title	Can’t get over my fear
Author	average_turanist
Upvotes	2
Comments	11
Date	February 11, 2024 8:18 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1aohejr/cant_get_over_my_fear/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/cant-get-over-my-fear.1427707 https://theredarchive.com/post/1427707

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