I keep getting stuck with girls that give mixed signals of interest. Advice on how to proceed?

BlazeDate · 2017-06-19T21:48:02+00:00

They aren't completely into you. How fast are you asking for the next date?

recyclablebanthas · 2017-06-20T05:39:51+00:00

You're trying too hard, for starters. Poor responses to texts shouldn't be an issue because texting should be confined to logistical planning for the next meet.

And if you're trying too hard overall, you're going to see things fizzle out, too.

Perhaps the biggest thing though, is that you really have no complete control over whether it pans out or not. What you have control over is your own vibe and confidence. You can increase your odds, but there will always be girls who are up for it, and those who aren't.

And overall, regarding "mixed signals," I'm going to reference Mark Manson.

As a man, a huge question is often whether to be persistent and continue pursuing a woman even when she seems lukewarm or hot/cold on your advances.....

Most dating advice exists to “solve” this grey area for people. Say this line. Text her this. Call him this many times. Wear that.

Much of it gets exceedingly analytical, to the point where some men and women actually spend more time analyzing behaviors than actually, you know, behaving.

Frustration with this grey area also drives many people to unnecessary manipulation, drama and game-playing. This is where you get rules about making men pay for this many dates before you can become intimate. Or how men need to transition from attraction phase to comfort phase by qualifying three times before they’re allowed to commence an escalation ladder.

These things may seem clever and exciting to some people who are stuck or frustrated. But this dating advice misses the point. If you’re in the grey area to begin with, you’ve already lost.

Let me ask again: Why would you ever be excited to be with someone who is not excited to be with you? If they’re not happy with you now, what makes you think they’ll be happy to be with you later? Why do you make an effort to convince someone to date you when they make no effort to convince you?

What does that say about you? That you believe you need to convince people to be with you?

sergeant_flem · 2017-06-19T21:50:15+00:00

Are you escalating further than making out? They're probably getting bored of you

DaygameCoach · 2017-06-19T23:42:51+00:00

Men generally lead and chase -- women simply don't need to initiate or pursue. That said, if you truly are getting mixed signals, the women could be unintentionally be hot and cold coquettes from The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene (so read that type in the book). Some women just seduce this way.

savagesteve_13 · 2017-06-20T01:32:14+00:00

If you're nervous on the date, they're nervous, if they're nervous, they want to get the hell out of there. The girl wants to be swept off her feet, excited and exhilarated by a fun and friendly guy. How is your dating attitude on a firstie?

Title	I keep getting stuck with girls that give mixed signals of interest. Advice on how to proceed?
Author	crushplanets
Upvotes	2
Comments	13
Date	June 19, 2017 9:43 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/6i9max/i_keep_getting_stuck_with_girls_that_give_mixed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-keep-getting-stuck-with-girls-that-give-mixed.1429205 https://theredarchive.com/post/1429205

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