Those of you who moved to a new town, how long did it take you to build your life up to a place you're happy with?

recyclablebanthas · 2017-11-08T12:15:52+00:00

Basics:

___1: Get out and get social___

Find some co-ed groups of people who do something interesting to you, and go attend their events, so you can meet people, make connections, socializing, and rebuild your social networks.

Facebook is actually invaluable here. SO many social groups have FB group pages and event pages.

You can add people on FB and the draw, besides group event pages, is that FB is usually seen as less threatening to give out, and yet it acts as a phone number, texting platform, and a means to share media and photos.

(Though honestly, spending time on creating some narrative on FB or other social media platforms, is unnecessary. You can easily find yourself juggling 3 or more girls, without having to curate your online presence like a marketing campaign.)

___2: Things you might try___

Depends on what kinds of people you like, but here are some suggestions:

Hash runs. Trail running + hide and seek + beer + fit people = win
Couchsurfing meets. Hang with travelers and locals who like to be around travelers.
Social partner dancing. Salsa, Tango, Lindy hop, West coast swing, etc. You really can't go wrong. Learn something fun and have an excuse to be close to a girl in a fun and non-threatening way.
Download the Meet-up app. Scan for groups near you that you share an interest with.

If you PM me with your location & interests, I could make more specific suggestions.

___3: Save time for yourself___

Don't go out so much that you stop prioritizing time to get back to your own center. It can be easy to neglect this in a rush to be around people.

___4: Don't drop your standards___

At this sort of vulnerable time, while it's good to be open to trying new things, this is the time to be careful about dropping your standards. While acquaintances aren't a bad thing, there's no reason that you should be friends with people just because there is no one else.

It's not that you can't hang with acquaintances. Just be real about it. There's no reason to make a big show of being friends with someone if you really don't like them that much.

SnapSocialGuru · 2017-11-08T05:30:02+00:00

When I moved to San Francisco two years ago, I knew nobody. All my friends lived hours away, so I was starting from scratch.

On top of that, I was in a psychotic relationship I had just broken off, so I was also an emotional garbage can.

Today, things are much different, and I always have something to do.

Here are a few things I did (which I've been sharing with others on Reddit, as well):

1) "Snapchat closed" everyone and anyone I met, even if briefly.

2) Said “yes” to every social situation, no matter how small or lame. (I’d say this is most important)

3) Lightly invited myself to people’s events. “Oh, sounds fun! If you need a friend to go with, hit me up, bro.”

4) Created Snapchat stories so I could stay “top of mind” for people I was meeting. (I’d say this is second most important)

5) Hopped on Tinder and befriended anyone before trying to close them. If things didn’t work out, I still wanted to be friends. Meeting new people was more important than sex at this point.

6) Branched out by getting introduced to friends of friends. I started off with coworkers then branched out from there.

7) Drastically lowered my “standard” for new friendships. If you're funny = you’re now my friend. That easy.

8) Said “yes” to EVERY social situation. Yes, I’m repeating this one because it’s that important.

9) Took up a social hobby. No new friends from this but it was nice to meet new people with shared interest. I did Toastmasters, improv, and wine tasting classes.

10) Seriously seriously seriously leveraged social media to make it easy for old friends to stay in touch with me. I found that if people forget about you = your social life is done. I managed to rekindle old friendships and stay in touch with new people. Got invited to awesome weekend getaways in Lake Tahoe this way.

Tl:dr: leverage social media, say yes to everything, and make friends out of anyone (old tinder hookups, coworkers, nerdy engineer at work).

Hope this helps!

MagnusRoundstone · 2017-11-08T04:43:28+00:00

I’ve moved a LOT as an adult. Usually took a month or two to be fully settled in.

Snazzy_Serval · 2017-11-08T05:32:39+00:00

I've been in my current city for a year and a half.

Now I'm thinking about where to move next as nothing has turned out to be the way I want.

NoloRadio · 2017-11-08T06:50:45+00:00

I saw an immediate mental improvement pretty much as soon as I moved. I was away from a the scene of a lot of negative experiences and associations, so that cheered me up and made me have a more positive and expansive mindset, as did the excitement of having a whole new city to explore. As far as building a social life, that took about a year, and it honestly isn't nearly to the point I would ideally like it to be, however a lot of that is due to spending my time working out, reading, etc rather than focusing on being really social, so I feel largely OK about that (I had a lot of bad misconceptions about other people that I needed to work through on my own).

Title	Those of you who moved to a new town, how long did it take you to build your life up to a place you're happy with?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	3
Comments	11
Date	November 8, 2017 4:26 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7biz59/those_of_you_who_moved_to_a_new_town_how_long_did/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/those-of-you-who-moved-to-a-new-town-how-long-did.1436552 https://theredarchive.com/post/1436552

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