Girls fucks on third date, then wants to slow down

silvercreek · 2014-11-17T11:44:03+00:00

Any woman who meets and fucks an Alpha will immediatly use all power to Betafy you into in order to satisfy both her Alpha Fuck and Beta Bucks desires.

Now you met Tinder, which is a Red flag the size of Russia and she casually mentioned another dude she's fucking? The red flag is now the size of the USSR with Putin nuking your dumb ass

Don't even bloody think about LTRing her. She has clearly started a campaign to mold you into a beta and since you've lost any frame the moment you went on sexless dates, she's succeeding.

Distance yourself from her and realise you're slipping into BP...

vandaalen · 2014-11-17T12:56:18+00:00

I don't care what she wants and neither should you. What do you want from her?

You are the man. You set the relationship frame. And you've got abundance mentality and are willing to take a loss if this doesn't work out the way you want.

You already gave her control and put her in charge when you agreed to have sexless dates. What the fuck where you thinking? If you want a relationship that's solely sexual than you keep it that way. Simple, eh?

It's the women's way of fucking you, when they leech your time without reciprocrating with sex. You already shiwed her that you are a slut and totally willing to be the beta bux.

How old is she? How old are you?

Tell her that you aren't interested in platonic relationships with women and that sex is important to you. Be a man and take the L when she wants it in another way.

You can't have the cake and eat it too.

Also your post reeks of oneitis in an early stage.

favours_of_the_moon · 2014-11-17T13:55:21+00:00

First of all, you're going for a LTR with a girl you met on Tinder. lol

Second of all, it seems like you're kind of trying to be formulaic about it. You need to interrelate with her as an individual. Yeah, you leader to the bedroom and you escalate for sex, but if you're trying to have some kind of LTR with her, maybe that's not the right approach. That's what you do for a plate.

You can't meet a girl for two weeks and then be in a LTR with her. lol. That takes time, to build up trust and get to know each other. If she really is LTR material then let her come to you when she's ready.

twxxx · 2014-11-17T12:35:58+00:00

Sex on third date (though she was reluctant). Immediately after, she started to only do day dates.

How many day dates did you do? I assume that you didn't have sex?

lead her to the bedroom and that's when she says she wants to take a step back and slow things down

She said she normally doesn't do this with guys she's only known a couple weeks. She admitted that I "check off all her boxes" and she really likes me. I told her it was mutual and questioned why this was a problem.

doesn't sound very passionate. This is negotiated desire, DON'T DO THIS. You should never have asked why it was a problem, and I hope you didn't ask anything that led her to say you "checked off all her boxes".

http://therationalmale.com/2011/08/25/the-desire-dynamic/

It was almost like LMR but since we just talked about it like 5 mins before I didn't push her much

http://therationalmale.com/2014/10/27/last-minute-resistance/

At this point you were probably screwed, but she was still in your bed. You SHOULD have pushed it and when you got a hard physical no made a move to end the night. A girl doesn't come to your house without knowing sex is a possibility. You came off beta and weren't aggressive enough. Sleeping together naked without sex is pretty stupid. Some take aways from the article:

"This was long before I realized that sex was about urgency, anxiety and tension, not comfort, familiarity or rapport, or proving how much better a boyfriend I’d make than the Jerks she’d enthusiastically spread her legs for because they naturally created that urgency.

It wasn’t until I’d hit my sexual stride in my semi-pro rock star 20s that I realized that striving to make a girl feel comfort and trust was anti-seductive."

deville05 · 2014-11-17T13:50:50+00:00

Dude why are you even talking sbout this? Go out there and keep looking for other plates. This one can be your palmela handerson if you want! The only reason this seems like an issue to you is cuz you are not trying for abundance. This is like some sort of oneitis in a microhabitat

totorox · 2014-11-17T20:56:38+00:00

her texts are only around making plans and she definitely does not do any chit chat over text

She's all about business. You're a business prospect to her. That's why she's raising the bar by withholding sex. She needs a provider.

HV123 · 2014-11-17T14:30:04+00:00

are you sure she's not being taken to pound town at night by this other guy?? "Day dates"?

Apanthropos · 2014-11-17T16:33:36+00:00

Stop paying attention to what this girl says and judge her by her actions. If she is not fucking you, then you are not attractive enough in her mind to fuck you. Wake up.

leftajar · 2014-11-17T17:59:15+00:00

Let me tell you a story.

I met a girl at a bar, gamed her well, then pulled her home, and fucked her after overcoming a pile of LMR.

I set up another date, took her home, only to have her tell me we weren't having sex. I froze her out, and even had to threaten to call her a cab. Then she put out, and we had great sex.

She never denied me sex again.

Where you dropped the ball was even going on sexless dates at all.

The first time she mentioned that, you have to nip it in the bud.

"Let's go have a picnic in the park!"

"Great, we'll go back to my place afterwards."

"Well, I can't, I have to blah blah blah."

"Is that so. Then let's reschedule to a time when you can come over."

"Uhhhhh.... " (you've forced her hand; she must now either back down or reveal the betafication plans.)

Hope that helps.

fnordsnord · 2014-11-17T19:42:46+00:00

Set up another date, try to bang. If she says no, freeze her out and send her home. Go zero contact and pursue other options. If she contacts you, great - but no zero sex dates. Any time that happens, freeze her out and send her home.

intelcorei5 · 2014-11-18T06:56:41+00:00

You take her seriously too much. Get ready for her to get tired of you.

You wanted sex. She wanted to talk. She won.

Probably could have been solved with more foreplay. Certainly could have been solved with fewer words.

oldredder · 2014-11-18T15:17:38+00:00

It really is moving a bit fast for her. She questions if you're a player and if she has any real value to you. This LMR isn't standard anti-slut defense, she can see how much value you have & easily play and she's wondering if she's a disposable toy.

Find a way to show her you're not while also not letting her rule you and you will get that LMR gone. She's sexually into you and she wants to do it so this falls more into "comfort-test" territory. You've built value, you've built comfort, but for the pace things are moving she probably isn't sure you're LTR material because you're probably consistently acting like you have higher value, you are the prize, and she's doubting herself.

She doesn't want to be a disposable toy. Part of the downside of TRP and the normal human way of "absorbing culture" of what's around you is the culture here is that women are disposable sex toys which means you can't let that culture leak through so badly from how you act so that she literally feels it.

You have to more carefully think about what you say & how you say it so that aspect doesn't filter through and I'm betting it is. It can be just so subtle but if it's all the time she'll know it. She can't be allowed to feel she's the prize or she like every woman will exploit you.

You just have to let her know that in your eyes, at least as she feels it, her value is high enough you don't want to just next her.

That doesn't mean you can't or won't but she shouldn't have any premonition of it, certainly not at this stage.

Title	Girls fucks on third date, then wants to slow down
Author	silvercreek
Upvotes	5
Comments	22
Date	November 17, 2014 11:10 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2mjtw6/girls_fucks_on_third_date_then_wants_to_slow_down/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/girls-fucks-on-third-date-then-wants-to-slow-down.143743 https://theredarchive.com/post/143743

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