Help getting over an inferiority complex

Before reading any further, I want to explain this is more so for the 'self improvement' aspect of this subreddit rather than the seduction part, if this is not where this post should be I will gladly remove it and find a more appropriate subreddit to post in.

Eskeeetiiit & r/Seduction v Inferiority Complex

Facts: I am Eskeeetiiit (E), I'm a 20 y/o virgin, I don't think I'm very ugly, and I avoided relationships in highschool due to religion and have since then slowly moved away from religion. I can talk to girls and hold a conversation normally, and have quite a few female friends. I started following this thread recently and have tried to improve my self-esteem and game. I don't have approach anxiety, I can approach anyone normally and try to start up a conversation, I do magic tricks and approaching random people to show them magic tricks has helped me overcome approach anxiety I had a few years ago.

Issues: Approval. I don't need womens approval, and I'm not afraid of rejection. My issue is I feel like I have to prove my self to my friends. By friends I mean my closest friends (obviously) and I've been through alot with these guys and theyve always been there for me, so I know its a stupid issue, I am 100% aware of it, they might judge me, but they won't think any less of me, and thats facts. But still, I can't seem to approach a girl with them around without thinking "what are they thinking? are they laughing at me?" or something else like that. The only times I could approach girls is when the entire friend group does it as a joke, by saying stupid pickup lines for laughs, and that's not actually approaching women. I know the easiest way would be to approach women without my friends, but I want to get over this issue rather than work around it.

Decision: I'm a bitch who needs my friends approval

Reasons: I have an inferiority complex and I don't know how to get over it

It felt really good getting all that out, any help would be very appreciated.

TLDR: I have an inferiority complex, need help getting over it

[–]porn-chicken 8 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link

I feel ya. Its often not enough to just know that you hold a bullshit core belief. Holding a bullshit core belief means you don't interpret the world correctly anyway, so you often ASSUME that your experiences PROVE IT CORRECT. You need experience to prove it wrong!

The best way to start with any mindset related self-improvement is work out the base form of a core belief. To do that, ask yourself why you feel that particular thing five times. This is called 5 Whys

Example:

I need my friends' approval

Why?

Because they know better than I do and if I get it wrong then they won't stick around.

Because they can do much better.

Because other people are worth more than me.

Because I'm unlovable.

Extreme example, but its usually something like this. Something formed in childhood that colours your perception. Once you've got it down in words, act in a way that will BRING ABOUT THE EVENT YOU FEAR as an experiment.

Example assuming the above line of reasoning - Do something TOTALLY AGAINST THEIR APPROVAL

You're in the market for a new games console. Que validation-seeking:

"What do you think of PS4? I was thinking of getting one"

But your buddy thinks consoles sucks...

"Fuck that! PC gaming is where its at"

Typically you would morph into someone who also thinks the same... But instead you're gonna do the OPPOSITE and DOUBLE DOWN!

"Why would I wanna fuck around with building a PC? I'm gonna get one on payday"

Ask yourself after a week or so:

Did my assumption (that my friends will desert me) come true?

If the answer is "no" then you can safely say you hold a bullshit statement as a core belief and have EXPERIENCE to prove it.

Also, go read No More Mr Nice Guy. That's the best inner-game book IMO

[–]Eskeeetiiit 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Title	Help getting over an inferiority complex
Author	Eskeeetiiit
Upvotes	1
Comments	2
Date	December 3, 2017 11:01 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7hd4dc/help_getting_over_an_inferiority_complex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/help-getting-over-an-inferiority-complex.1437876 https://theredarchive.com/post/1437876

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