Ghosting: The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date – Urban Dictionary.

I’m not here to tell you that if you’ve ever ghosted someone, you’re a shitty excuse of a human being. Because you know what? I’ve done it too. Yeah, it made me feel awful afterwards, but I did it, because I thought I HAD to.

This group is great, because it's all about taking initiative and making dates happen. But on the flipside, there will be absolutely no chemistry in a lot of those dates - it's just a fact of life and we need to keep going, but also learn how to deal with that.

Why did I think I had to ghost someone? I'm not a horrible person. I just didn’t know what to say. There are other, worse excuses, like not respecting the other person, but most people just think it’s easier this way and don’t want to be rude/confrontational.

But I realized how this was all bullshit when I was ghosted by people that I liked. Because all people are human beings who deserve the minimum amount of respect required to send a simple text message. I would rather know someone isn’t into me for certain, go through a bit of pain and then get over it, rather than just waiting as they disappear off the face of the fucking earth.

Apart from making us feel like idiots and damaging our self-esteem, social rejection activates the same pathways in the brain as physical pain – which explains the whole ‘punched in the gut’ feeling that materializes when we’re ghosted. Ghosting is emotional cruelty and shouldn't be a thing.

“What can you write when you want to stop seeing someone but don’t want to look like a dick?” You ask. OK, let me try and help you out. I thought about ghosting and came up with some stuff that should be said instead of having a radio silence. These texts are for all the different scenarios where ghosting might happen (but really shouldn’t)

1 There just isn’t a spark:

Hey, thanks for meeting me yesterday. I had a lovely time, but didn’t feel a spark and I’m pretty sure you feel the same way. Always awkward to be the first to say this, but I don’t want to ghost you!

2 You’re busy

Hi, I just realized that I will be extremely busy for a while and won’t be able to date again any time soon. It’s probably best if we don’t date again, because I don’t want to be a dick to you. Really sorry about this and all the best.

3 You think they’re cool and want to meet again, but just as friends (like actually)

I really enjoyed chatting and would love to see you again, but for me it would be as friends – would you be OK with that?

4 You’d like to hook up but don’t want anything serious

Hi, I had lots of fun meeting you. I’m not ready for anything serious right now but would be OK to occasionally meet up and keep things casual. Is that OK with you? If not, I understand.

5 You have personal issues

I’m really sorry but I don’t think I’m in a place to date right now, even though I thought I was. You’re a great person, but I’m dealing with some personal issues and I wish you all the best.

Some tips on whatever you decide to write:

• Try to say something nice about them and how you had a great time – it doesn’t hurt to be nice.

• Try and save their dignity by saying that they probably feel the same way.

• Try to end on a positive note, e.g. ‘All the best’ or ‘Good luck’.

• Be upfront about your intentions. If you don’t want to meet again, say it. If you actually want to stay friends, let them know.

In conclusion: Be a fucking nice person, because…. Karma is a bitch.

If you think these are useful and would like to check out more, I actually have 20 texts in the full version of this article. Let’s all have a nice Christmas and not be filthy animals.