Reflections and thoughts caused by girl, whose body count is so high that she does not know it

WWbowieD · 2017-12-25T20:39:56+00:00

Time will help you get over her. It sounds like she wants to sleep around and does not want to be tied down to you so if you're looking for a relationship you should consider her a non-option. However, there might be a chance if you hooking up again some day if you stay friends, but definitely don't wait around for her.

iHasABaseball · 2017-12-25T21:46:14+00:00

4) Fuck someone else who’s hot and form a connection with them. You’re being naive and silly if you think any single human on this Earth isn’t replaceable when it comes to sex and relationships. Everyone is replaceable. Only exception is maybe marriage where you should be flexible and compromise to a good degree. At this stage, you just gotta get out more dude.

The longer you hold this belief, the longer it will take to find someone. Nobody is that special after such a fairly insignificant interaction. Losing your virginity is great, but it’s also not that big of a deal. Basically everyone on earth loses their virginity. Stop placing so much emphasis on it and absolutely stop making his girl your benchmark. You haven’t dated or fucked hardly anyone on this planet. How the hell do you even have a benchmark? How do you even know what you want if you haven’t experimented?

AndrasZodon · 2017-12-25T21:26:58+00:00

No idea dude. I didn't lose my virginity to her, but I dated a girl for a while who was quite my type, easily a 9 or 10 in my eyes. Personality wise though, we didn't have amazing chemistry and broke up amicably after a few months. This was a couple years ago and we still talk on occasion, and I think I can say one thing: getting over a person and getting over a body are different things and they can take different amounts of time. We have a lot of cultural values about what "love" is, but at the end of the day its just a bunch of chemicals and hormones in your brain. When you have a fixation on one person, it is very common for other people to become less appealing. Give it time.

recyclablebanthas · 2017-12-26T16:52:27+00:00

____1____

She said that she feels like she cannot give me enough because I have given her so much nor has she shown her real self. Although felt secure and comfortable with me and told nobody had cared about her like that a long time. She just feels not ready and wants me to find somebody much more worthier.

Okay. So she's wanting casual. And you've been signaling that you want something serious.

No harm, no foul. She's even being upfront about not being interested, really. She's just trying to be nice about it.

____2____

Holy shit! So young, so much experience. What the heck I have been doing all the time?!

You've been doing what you needed to, to become the person you are today. Comparing yourself to others is often a worthless pursuit because everyone walks their own path in life.

____3____

I cannot control what she chooses

This is an important lesson.

____4____

Now, the thing is, she has set my standards so high.

Did she really? Do you realize that you've slept with a damaged woman here? She's kind, in a way, but there are some red flags here that she's got some serious baggage. You usually don't get that kind of history, that young, without some kind of traumatic event in your childhood.

On a related note, I know you're friends with her, but it's not your business to dig into that past, at all. Unless she volunteers that information, she won't want to talk about it, if this is the case. But even if she shares it, it's not for you to fix.

The point here: you need time to fully digest what has just happened to you. If you have the intent of settling down ever, then this girl did NOT set your standards high at ALL. In fact, chasing more like her, including her friends, would be a fucking terrible idea that could lead to you following down her path.

____5____

I do not find any woman attractive right now.

This is the natural response to being broken up with. You need to have some time to yourself to really explore what you're feeling, because it sounds like you're not entirely in touch with it. Unless you're just leaving this awareness out of your post.

In any case, time will fix it. Along with you reminding yourself that things ended because this girl is not FOR you.

____6____

Why do some woman think they are not worthy for you? How to "fix" this?

This has two potential levels to what's going on.

It's less about her thinking that she's not worthy of you, and more about her not being attracted.
She could very well have some self-loathing, based on what you've described.

In any case, you don't fix this. You move on. It's hers to deal with. No one else can.

____7____

I mean EVERY not-married woman goes out at least 1 a month in night to maybe get fucked hard.

You're thinking in fear right now, imagining every possible girl you might end up with as going out and debasing herself with these guys who are almost reenacting porn scenes with them or something, from the way you make it sound.

Cut. it. the. fuck. OUT.

Now I am sad as fuck because I am thinking I will not meet such amazing person in any time soon. How to "fix" this thought?

The issue is that this brain of yours is working against you. The fight is inside your brain. You probably have two narratives running through your head.

A negative one. A voice that looks for the most negative interpretation of the data available.
A positive one. A hopeful voice that wants to believe in something better.

It takes some work for you to establish a courtroom in your head that weighs the evidence so you're not fucking yourself constantly by buying into inaccurate thoughts. Here are a couple of ways you might work on trying to rewire your brain: 1 2

____8____

I am however looking for person to spend quality time with and grow together. Where to find them?

As for how to find someone serious..... you keep presenting yourself more or less how you did with this girl. The difference is, when you meet a seriously minded girl, she won't break it off, as this girl did. She'll be up for it.

But you need to create a social life for yourself. There are some ways to do that. None of them involve hitting clubs or bars. Get out there. And there are so many options:

Hash runs. Trail running + beer + fit people = win
Couchsurfing meets. Hang with travelers and people who like to be around travelers.
Social partner dancing. Salsa, Tango, Lindy hop, West coast swing, etc. You really can't go wrong. Learn something fun and have an excuse to be close to a girl in a fun and non-threatening way. Also, you're going to learn how to get comfortable being in close and touching a girl and learning how to know when and how they like being touched.
Download the Meet-up app. Scan for groups near you that you share an interest with.

Lambdal7 · 2017-12-25T21:55:31+00:00

She feels guilt for having had sex with many guys and she likes you and doesn't want to make you hopes for a relationship I guess.

You need to tell that she doesn't need to feel guilty for liking sex and it doesn't define a person's worth. This puts you in the superior position, because you help her letting go of her guilt and gives you some control in your relationship with her. Not in a "controlling" way, but in a directive way.

All in all, don't become needy at all, this is the main thing that will drive her away. Keep it light. She sounds like she wants to enjoy her freedom now and not get in a relationship with a guy who loves her already. She will be down for having sex with you for sure though.

enkae7317 · 2017-12-25T22:29:34+00:00

Enjoy the ride. While it lasts.

Not_unique_enuf · 2017-12-26T02:53:30+00:00

Listen! She wasn't the perfect amazing woman for you. You know what quality she lacked to be perfect? She didn't choose you. The perfect woman will choose you and she will have the qualities you want. It will be a hard journey to find her but anything of value is hard to find.

"The most precious jewels are in the deepest depth of the ground, it is not easy to dig them up nor should it be. If it was easy to find it wouldn't be so valuable" - Harry House

BestSC86 · 2017-12-26T19:51:53+00:00

Experience has told me that when a girl tells you that she is crazy, has a hidden side which is troubling, or that you should find someone else...THEN FUCKING BELIEVE THEM.

And your girl has loads and tons of red flags which are screaming that she knows of what she talks.....she has real issues which she apparently cannot or does not want to control. In a word, is damaged in some pretty serious ways, knows it but does not want to or is unwilling to change to heal that damage. She is warning you beforehand so that regardless of how badly she acts at a later time, she can always say she warned you beforehand, you stayed around anyway and so now have no reason to complain\bitch that she fucked your 8 best buds, your father and your priest in your bedroom then stole your mother's diamonds to buy some heroin for a 3 day fuckfest with the local rugby team.

Sorry, you say that this chick took your virginity, yet claim that you have met tons of women...not really.....you are simply lost in the post-fuck halo which is blinding you to all those red flags and even the girl telling you that she is damaged and not what you are looking for...believe her. Get the hell away from this likely BPD chick with tons of damage.

And for someone who has so little experience with women you have some pretty jaded view of all the women around your community thinking all non single women go out prowling to get fucked hard all the time....don't take everything you read on the internet as reality...(where did you get information, those morons over at TRP?)

unclejimbo1 · 2017-12-27T22:26:48+00:00

Give it 12 years and she'll find you wanting a relationship.

Title	Reflections and thoughts caused by girl, whose body count is so high that she does not know it
Author	IamJustAWizard
Upvotes	15
Comments	17
Date	December 25, 2017 8:10 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7m3aq7/reflections_and_thoughts_caused_by_girl_whose/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/reflections-and-thoughts-caused-by-girl-whose-body.1439024 https://theredarchive.com/post/1439024

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