How long do you wait?

asd1100 · 2014-12-10T22:30:11+00:00

What's everyone's take on this? How long do you wait? When do you draw the line in terms of your time and money?

My take is you don't get it. My take is you are afraid of saying: I just want to fuck.

FOr a plate, a fun date, let's say 3 hours at most. If she is boring, conceited or a pain about 20 seconds. I am not buying pussy here. I just want to get it in, that is what a plate is. If you stay and bargain she will take you for all you have and you'll stlill not get it in because keeping you on the line is much more profitable.

I draw the line at my enjoyment. If I don't like it: the date, the dynamic, I'm out. Sex is sex, hanging out is hanging out. We both should enjoy both activities separately not have a barter system. The blue pill paradigm of investing time hoping sex will come is flawed, because women are solipsistic and emotion driven. They never owe anything all checks are cleared the moment you leave the frame. And sex occurs when they are tingling(in the mood) not as a reaction to your investment.

I can easily get a girl back to my place and make out, but I'm worried how many more times I have to meet up with them before I close.

That sounds like she is working you, not the other way around. Are you building atraction, what is your SMV?

Ok, I get it. You are investing time. Also the bar close to your place is just weird. To avoid flakes try pushing and polarizing more. It shakes off the apples that are barely hanging on. Go for a walk next time, it's much better, friendlier and non-date like.(dates set up that blue pill premise of time invested for pussy, it frames the dynamic so she has all the power, you should strive to make them as non-date as possible). If you do want to do the date close, switch a couple of venues and start with the bar near your place, with her picking you up from your building. This way you frame it as: I'm lazy not sleezy. Multiple venues make it a more natural dynamic and less about punching the time cards until you get a free pussy.

Red_Invictus · 2014-12-10T18:38:56+00:00

Long story short, stop worrying about "how long" and instead make sure your escalation game is as tight as it can be. Sex can and will happen on first "dates" if you play right and she's down.

One of the best field reports I've read to filter this was a guy explaining something along these lines - he was having the same LMR issues you're explaining, bringing girls back to his pad but his escalation was unsuccessful.

He gave a shit test in the form of inviting her over for a movie. This is also probably 2nd/3rd "date" - not the first time they'd spent time making out or escalating. As soon as they get comfy, say, 10 minutes in, he tries making out with her, she gets into it, but as soon as the groping her tits starts (real escalation) she'd back off or resist. The antidote here was, the guy simply got up, (absolutely NO signs of butthurt here, or this will fail) turned on the lights, paused the movie, and said "Okay, you've got to leave then." Nuclear hamstering, surprise, and "WHAT, WHY?" were met with "I'm not here to be your movie buddy, so I'm going to go do something else."

The same women who acted shocked or pissed by this ended up retracting, and typically fucking him immediately after this happened. The keys here to make this work are;

the escalation game has to already be solid. It sounds like you're mostly there, you're getting cockblocked by LMR
this needs to be delivered in a very matter of fact, NOT butthurt way.

Hope this helps, but TLDR: you need to probably read up on Last Minute Resistance and how to break through it, rather than caring about "how many more dates do I need to do?" - I think that's the wrong question to be asking, plain and simple.

tombreck2 · 2014-12-10T18:14:36+00:00

I'm worried how many more times I have to meet up with them

To solve this issue, have them come to your place and invite them up for a second so they can see your bedroom. Then, go out to a bar for awhile and then bounce to another bar.

It will seem like it's been 2+ dates and since they've already been to your place they will be more comfortable and willing to go back with you.

mister_barfly75 · 2014-12-10T19:36:45+00:00

I'm worried how many more times I have to meet up with them before I close.

Why are you so worried?

There is no strict rule of thumb. I've had girls on the first date, on the second, on the third. You can't timetable it, just deal with each one on a case by case scenario. How far can you escalate? How quickly? How receptive are they to it? As much as TRP likes to yell out that AWALT not all women are the same, so you have to adapt your game accordingly.

If you're getting to date 3 and still not getting any action and thinking "Man, I want to nail this chick but I can't be bothered to spend any more time with her bullshit conversations" then bail. Don't worry about it, just go. And if you're worried about money, just think about the sunk cost fallacy and cut your losses before you invest any further.

If all you're after is a ONS then sure, cut your losses as early as possible when you see it not happening. Saves you time and money to get on to the next one.

fnordsnord · 2014-12-10T20:00:28+00:00

Rules of thumb:
If you can get them back to your place, ALWAYS escalate. Sometimes it works on the first date. Sometimes it takes more.

Most guys who are just chasing a notch count drop them after 3 if they aren't making progress.

That's why you see guys advocate the rule of spending no money on prospects until after the first bang. I don't go that far, myself, but I like dating.

kingofpoplives · 2014-12-11T02:03:24+00:00

How does it go when they shut it down? Are you feeling tits or anything or do they stop it at making out?

A lot of girls, so the hamster can believe they aren't sluts, won't fuck on the first date but are game on the second. If I'm not getting at least a bj by the second date though, I re-evaluate the situation and usually next if she isn't that hot.

If a girl doesn't want to fuck on the first date, I don't push it, and unless I am getting a fuck me vibe from her I will not invite her back that day for the sake of the avoiding a likely denial. I usually have them meet me at my place before the second date and leave her car there, so it is where the date ends as well.

ifilllotsofrxs · 2014-12-10T18:24:25+00:00

use the rule of3

Title	How long do you wait?
Author	thenarrrowpath
Upvotes	6
Comments	16
Date	December 10, 2014 6:07 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2ovus0/how_long_do_you_wait/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-long-do-you-wait.144333 https://theredarchive.com/post/144333

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