Have you ever played Minesweeper? Probably yes. Quite old for a Windows game. You have a grid, whenever you click on a single square, it uncovers a part of the area. You will uncover some numbered squares which tell you how much mines there is around that number. The goal is simple - mark all the mines and uncover the clean area. What the hell does that have to do with dating, you ask yourself?

Well, if you played, you will notice the strange and insanely absurd, but silly metaphor for dating - that is Minesweeper. Here, catch:

  • Whatever square you click on, there's no telling what's behind at first move: First click, by default, never explodes a mine. This is quite simple - don't hesitate to approach, initiate contact with that cute girl over there, put yourself out there. This is how you start playing the game. Can't win if you don't play.

  • You might get a very good start or a very bad one: In general, it's best to uncover a lot of area at once in Minesweeper. This gives you a lot more space to find the remaining mines. However, sometimes you might get a huge, open space jackpot or you get a measly 2x2 box which pretty much screws up your chances of winning.

This is same as the random women you will meet. When you approach them, you might get some nice tools to work with if she is receptive - she will make the conversation easy, ask questions, express positive body language, exchange contacts. On the other side, you might have to deal with completely uninterested or indifferent women who won't give you much to work with. What do they both have in common? In theory, they're both "winnable", although the latter is much less so.

  • You will eventually learn how to find mines quickly: As you play, you might have absolutely no idea how to win at first. Later on, you start noticing number/mine patterns and can even solve the hardest puzzle in a short time, pumping up your high score.

What's this? Essentially: The Game. Or if you prefer, just plain old social skills. At first, you might completely suck at dating - your conversations lead to nowhere, your body language is horrid, confidence is all-time low, you have nothing to contribute emotionally or sexually. But that's okay. As you play more games - that is, do more dating - you catch up on some things. You notice some patterns. You start acting with confidence. You feel relaxed. You notice toxic behaviours and red flags very soon and learn to avoid them. You learn to have fun and do even better than before. You are getting very close to your goal, whatever that might be - sex, long term relationship, having fun.

  • Unfortunately, no matter how good you play, you will get fucked: You can do your job perfectly in Minesweeper and still lose. At some point, the mines in the grid get placed in such a way that you have no other choice but to guess where the mine is because you lack information. And that is where you guess and most probably lose, game over.

This is second most important metaphor in this silly post. You can learn the game perfectly, be a perfect human specimen, cure cancer and everything: you will still lose. You'll never get that one girl. Scarlet Johansson will most probably never date you. You will sometimes betray yourself with bad actions. You'll make mistakes you couldn't influence. You'll have a whole bunch of bullshit coming your way you won't be able to deal with - it's not your fault. Just learn to differentiate what's your responsibility.

  • If you fuck up, you can start a new game instantly with one click on the smiling emoji guy: You fucked up, clicked on the mine, game over. What are you gonna do, sit and cry? No, click and try again.

The most important metaphor in this silly post. You're gonna fuck up a lot. It's all unimportant. You can start a new game, a new date, a new habit, hobby, life... anytime you want. It didn't work out the first time? Try again. It might work a second time. Or 56742nd time. Doesn't matter. There's a whole bunch of options to satisfy your dating needs - you just start a new opportunity yourself.