(26, m) I have Asperger's and I don't think I can ever be attractive to a woman.

Aeon199 · 2018-05-17T04:59:01+00:00

You don't need social status or a good job to get women.

Look "decent enough" in terms of being in shape. Facially you can look weird--it depends, but a lot of weird looks may appeal to women. Think David Bowie--kind of androgynous features, but for some reason women just loved that visage. He could have gotten booty without fame or money, that I'm certain.

You can get what you want, so long as you put in the effort. Don't let anyone tell you differently.

asthebroflys · 2018-05-17T06:34:48+00:00

I don't know if this sub is the right place for you to get help. I mean that in a supportive way. I (along with a lot of guys here) hope you are able to overcome your obstacles and find happiness and companionship.

This sub is more for guys to learn and share techniques for picking up women. You may find better help that's much more effective in improving your situation in Asbergers support groups/forums than here.

Don't despair my friend. Keep working at being the best version of you that you can be. Be kind to yourself. And most importantly, be patient. It takes time.

Godspeed.

Kashgar29 · 2018-05-17T06:57:34+00:00

Numero Uno - So you don't have the looks, the alpha physique, or dominance. That’s Okay, you still have your personality and your mind. So work on developing your strength, Never your weakness. Watch a lot of comedy, at some point you'll remember what you watched and crack a perfect joke. Keep watching a lot of stand up and this will become effortless. Listen to comedy on Pandora. Replace those shows you've been watching with stand up but don't try to be a funny guy. Through exposure, you'll effortlessly start spewing out jokes and punchlines. word of warning- do not force this process.

Number 2 - start small, start simple (The whole this is not a sprint but a marathon pitch) take daily showers, invest in some cologne, aftershave and lotion. I personally prefer YSL, HUGO Boss, and POLO. Brush your teeth twice a day, wear deodorant, invest in some skin care. Coffee scrubs and St Ives scrubs work magic for me. Decent haircuts a given and always try to style it nice. Play around styling your hair in different ways see what you like and what you don't.

Rule 3 - Style. Go to value store like thrift shops and Ross often, buy new clothes often, and retire your old ones. Sometimes people judge your style not by how nice it looks, but by how fresh and new it looks. Like I said before, start simple. There are very fine pieces of clothing out there you can get pennies on the dollar. If the girl you had a crush on saw you wearing new outfits day in and day out, she'd definitely see you in a whole different light.

Rule 4 - Work on your discipline, Your will-power, and self-control. FUCK Motivation. Follow r/getdisciplined and read that it religiously. I can go on for days about the benefits of self-discipline but this is something you're going to have to see for yourself. After months of practicing the principles in r/discipline, I’ve come to the conclusion that will power is the closest thing to magic we have in this life. I can give you advice to go to the gym, eat healthy, read, meditate etc. But what you have to recognize is that those things are all dependent on your ability to discipline yourself. On your ability to get yourself out of that warm cozy couch, drop your controller and go for a run. Your will determines all of your actions, behavior, thoughts and speech.

Rule 5 - Recognize that this has nothing to do with friends, family or the girls in your life. This is all for you. you're spending all this money and time to improve “you”. After applying the aforementioned principles for a month, who's going to be happier? The people in your life or you when you look in the mirror with great hair, glowing skin, fresh clothes, and smelling like a god. You of course! Everyone is in their own universe, no matter how hard you try sometimes, they still won't notice you. They're stuck in their minds, caught up with their own life, or their heads are too deep up their asses.

You are very disadvantaged my friend. Society doesn't owe you anything. No one owes you anything. You owe yourself everything. What will stand out for those girls the most is that you are still trying. that there’s still a fight and fire in you. No matter your disadvantages, you are showing the world you care, respect and hold yourself to a higher esteem. That’s worth way more than care and affection any woman can give you.

topfgeldjaeger1 · 2018-05-17T06:38:07+00:00

the only problem i see is your attitude and you need to work on that first. Girls don’t like guys who pity themselves all day, and calling yourself a weird ugly loser is not gonna get you to your goal. Your are not a weird loser and i am sure you can hold a simple conversation with people. And girls are people. those „normal“ guys only appear that way because you don’t really know them, some of them might be psychopaths or way more insecure on the inside than you and they do a better job at hiding it. I would also suggest you see a therapist to get over your insecurity issues, because I know exactly how it feels and that can help you. Maybe try talking to woman without wanting to actually date them, without any ulterior motiv, and you will see they are just people like everybody else with their insecurities an what not. Only when you realized that and gained a little bit of self confidence start talking to them with a date in mind.

Jacob_961 · 2018-05-17T09:08:39+00:00

Impossible to tell. Have you considered anti-depressants. Not to treat depression but for anxiety. If the med doesn't produce bad side effects, anti-depressants allow you to accept yourself and you'll be way more outgoing and fun. Honestly worth it if you have that bad of a self image, whether due to real limitations or self-imposed. It doesn't matter. Was on anti-depressants for 9 months. It made me weak, sleepy and fatigued so I stopped it. However despite it, I went out with like 20 women during the period which is way out of the ordinary for me. And I became a genuinely good spirited human being that loved all. :)

It's not a magic bullet and every positive has a negative attached to it but in your case I really think it's worth dabbling into. Even with no drugs in my system for almost the past year, I give way less of a shit of what people think of me. So it's up to you.

2018-05-17T06:02:11+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2018-05-17T07:15:34+00:00

You need therapy to help work on your self esteem and social skills

monsunz · 2018-05-17T10:11:52+00:00

Hey bro, I think that it's ok to be self-aware, like I know my nose or whatever isn't perfect but you simply DON'T let that out. That's when it starts to affect you negatively and restrict actions you'd have taken. On the other hand your face might define the way people perceive you, (so do not give a fuck or/and do whatever you feel like doing with your face if that would make you feel better, even a plastic surgery) and I'd surely be frustrated if I knew that's mainly because of how I look. Try getting your posture right then (if you don't), since thats the other physical thing you make impression with. Looking for your answer, have a nice day!

ArtieKaye · 2018-05-17T10:56:16+00:00

You seem to have a lot of hangups on your looks. It's really easy to change your look, just go into a hairdressers and ask for advice, what kind of haircut would suit you. Same with clothes shops, just admit to the girls in there you have no idea what you're doing and ask for some advice, get some well fitted clothes.

But remember, self-esteem can go pretty deep and so tackling the root of that is the most important thing. If you're not happy in yourself then girls will pick up on that. As someone said below, keep working on yourself, find help in support groups if need be. You may find some useful advice when studying 'inner game' on this forum but it's not the be all and end all.

Good luck and remember, just by taking the time and effort to post here, you're one step ahead of everyone else in your position.

TheXXL · 2018-05-17T12:40:38+00:00

I want to ask you something...

I graduated with a degree in psychology

... what did you learn? I would think you might have a greater understanding of the human mind than many many others. So, what does psychology say about female to male interaction and what are the triggers for attraction?

My point is that you are like others who talk themselves into oblivion like "i am short", "i am bald", "i am indian", "i am ugly" and so on, while the fact is that those subjective attributes, are ... well subjective, and therefore up to discussion, even by potential female partners, and even if those are objective issues, they most of the time don't dictate a life without a partner. You know what is a pretty high guarantee for dying a virgin?

Not doing anything against it.
having no confidence.
being negative all the time.
being unable to socialize.

The funny thing those things are all solvable. You simply have to learn and actively train certain aspects of it, and this is why there is this sub. We call this "Game".

So, even though you say you have asperger, which in my opinion is like the new fashion being gluten intolerant, something that people want to have so they can feel special, or even that doctors are just too quick in diagnosing it by seeing one symptom, which could be something completely different, i am sure you can combat the most important issues by just stopping believing that you are not good enough. Confidence and social behavior are key. You can learn that, you have a grade in psychology...

papi1368 · 2018-05-17T13:15:45+00:00

Go watch RSD Tyler.You will come back as a changed man.He has Asperger's, autism and attention span if im not mistaken, yet he's a god with women.

vince548 · 2018-05-17T06:39:46+00:00

Plastic surgery ?

Title	(26, m) I have Asperger's and I don't think I can ever be attractive to a woman.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	10
Comments	15
Date	May 17, 2018 4:51 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/8k1k44/26_m_i_have_aspergers_and_i_dont_think_i_can_ever/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/26-m-i-have-aspergers-and-i-dont-think-i-can-ever.1446752 https://theredarchive.com/post/1446752

Comments