I always lose the ‘mystery’ when dating, how do I keep her intrigued?

WIA20XX · 2018-06-04T13:26:02+00:00

You need to change your behavior, in one way or another.

Option 1 - you are spending way too much time with your SO. Basically vomiting all of your bullshit on them. It's like the reverse of the emotional tampon. You're probably too available on text.

Get you nuts back, back in the gym, back with your homies, back with your music, with your side hustle - whatever you did before her.

Taking the chick from #1 priority to #5-6 usually all you need.

Or

Option 2

Stay exactly the same, don't change a thing. If a broad doesn't want to hear all of your bullshit, she can leave. Not only will you be fine, she will be replaced in a day or two.

Change your actions or change your expectations

recyclablebanthas · 2018-06-04T14:02:50+00:00

[permanently deleted]

throwitawayagainyay · 2018-06-04T13:45:45+00:00

Don't reveal everything at once. Follow the example of tv shows, leave epic cliffhangers. It doesn't have to be something "major" just don't reveal everything about yourself all at once. So there's always something new to discover.

Ancquar · 2018-06-04T13:46:22+00:00

The problem with playing anything is that it only works for a limited time in a relationship. Playing mysterious will work for a time but eventually you'll start running out of energy needed to maintain the façade and/or the girl will see through it. It works if you care about girls-per-week, but doesn't work well if you want something longer-term.

Also it sounds like you have some degree of neediness problem if you keep getting too involved.

These two can easily be related since avoiding neediness means being confident about who you are, and it's hard to get that confidence if you only experience getting results from acts that you feel you can't maintain indefinitely.

The longer-term solution would be working on things that make you legitimately interesting, and you can try toning down the act so you actually attract the girls that are more fine with who you really are - though either way can easily mean a short-term reduction in success.

BuyerOfCoins · 2018-06-04T12:42:08+00:00

I got the same issue really, with a girl I am really into that is. It's like the tension just fades away cause you (in this case her) gets to know you more, and there's no mystery anymore because now she knows you. Yup, same thing here.

2018-06-04T12:56:53+00:00

[permanently deleted]

InscrutablePUA · 2018-06-04T15:17:35+00:00

1) talk less

2) let her talk more

3) don't answer questions logically; use the DARE model instead to make it more fun

Chichachachi · 2018-06-04T19:48:56+00:00

If they are getting bored, that's because you are boring. Honestly, being human is fascinating and endlessly mysterious in itself. Philosophers and scientists and legions of really smart people have spent lifetimes trying to figure us out. You can be as honest and open as possible and still be a mystery. Read more. Find more angles. Being MORE honest and diving deep into your own psychology can make you even more mysterious.

2018-06-05T14:03:28+00:00

if they are interested in your mystery charmer persona, cant you slowly reveal parts of yourself to her to make it fresh? If your charms starts off with giving a little by little and attracting them, what lures them in is the potential in you. By revealing everything about yourself at once, you leave them satisfied and no longer craving for more. They also become familiar with you and hence lose their atrraction for you.

For the girls that you attract with such methods, you need to avoid becoming too familar or they will becone bored of you. It is like being interested in a toy that can keep changing shapes. Once you know every variation you will become bored because what drawn you in is lost.

Title	I always lose the ‘mystery’ when dating, how do I keep her intrigued?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	8
Comments	17
Date	June 4, 2018 12:31 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/8ogvvo/i_always_lose_the_mystery_when_dating_how_do_i/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-always-lose-the-mystery-when-dating-how-do-i.1447724 https://theredarchive.com/post/1447724

Comments