Asked a girl out in person for the first time

XenForo · 2018-07-03T13:06:52+00:00

Good work my guy

Archangel_White_Rose · 2018-07-03T19:15:08+00:00

That's what's called a flinch. She didnt turn you down. What happened was a reaction to your fear of actually escalating and going on a date. You took the easy way out and steppes on the breaks.

jon_targstark · 2018-07-03T15:19:27+00:00

Good job man. Baby steps.

Sebt1890 · 2018-07-03T16:23:54+00:00

Idk how old you are but if you're vibing with a girl I tend to just say, "Hey do you want to go out for drinks and grab some food?".

benmarvin · 2018-07-03T15:54:14+00:00

Failure is part of progress. In some cases, failure can be bad. But here, there's literally nothing to lose. Even the attempt puts you above a lot of other dudes. And the more times you try, each failure will matter to you less and less.

six-bible · 2018-07-03T19:48:20+00:00

Live and learn. Balls are good.

You'll soon find (just by constantly trying shit on different women, again and again) --- that most dates-turned-fucking are actually as smooooooth and innocent as possible the whole way through. By which I mean, there is no grand moment: WILL YOU???

That can work too of course, but it's usually bad salesmanship in practice. You can seduce by revealing your sexual interest immediately, or more aloof ... different methods. In either case, the idea is make it as easy and frictionless as possible. Baby steps ... baby committment ... no big deal ... no big deal .... we're all relaxed here ... no pressure ... just having fun ... OOPS we fucked! "Grand moments" or high-pressure decisions --- no one likes those in reality.

More practical advice --- on dating apps you can easily pitch dates as the romantic context is already there. "You seem interesting" or "You seem safe enough" (qualifying) ... "We should meet ... maybe something simple like drinks after work" (low pressure, no questions asked) ... "Let me know what you think."

Here you simply offered a low-pressure opportunity to go out with a man she is interested in and may want to fuck. You also pitched a general idea (bar) and timeframe (after work) which will clarified immediately in the next text. People hate agreeing to vagaries.

In the context of ... well a friend from school/ work or the waitress maybe you're chatting up .... where maybe you're flirting/ talking and you have to make a move without the romantic context. Well ... you might want to dial up the flirting more heavily before pitching a meet (last thing you want is a "date" that she thinks is platonic and thus a time-waster). Ask for her number instead of a direct date pitch (lower investment) or say ... you seem fun ... hey I was going to go to X event later this week -- maybe you want to hang out. ... Make it seem like you're going anyway. Act like you do not give ONE SHIT if she says yes or no. Don't be nervous either.

2018-07-03T15:56:56+00:00

Good job big boy, keep it up!

ObviouslyNotALizard · 2018-07-03T19:17:49+00:00

Hell yea. Keep it up bud!

Gnostromo · 2018-07-03T21:04:36+00:00

Good for you.

You can call a nervous flub a fail if you want but to be honest it really depends.

One girl will think it’s a fail and move on while another may think it’s endearing and cute that you are nervous. One may like smooth the other find it cringey. You never ever know. Just be yourself and don’t worry what they think becuase there is no way to know and nothing you can do about her thoughts. Easier said than done, I know but you can do it!

Enter the room dick first and be yourself

Bleezy79 · 2018-07-03T23:38:49+00:00

You only need 1 yes, OP! The more you put yourself out there, the easier it ges. good luck!

Samaniak · 2018-07-03T18:59:50+00:00

Good job keep that positive mindset. I spend like 3months studying whole RSD thing. But never realy "cold aproached girl" so, i know how hard it is to trick yourself to do that.

zugzug_tv · 2018-07-03T19:37:01+00:00

I read it as "Asked out a girl out in prison for the first time" then followed by a thousand questions xD

Edit: Typo

swyx · 2018-07-03T21:03:02+00:00

more context please? did you know her before? what location were you in? it could help your odds if you are in a setting where you feel comfortable/at ease e.g. you know the bartender/dj

2018-07-03T21:15:32+00:00

Use that momemtum to keep going forward.

DaBears85Hookem · 2018-07-03T23:17:38+00:00

Good job. Literally happened to me next week. It’s not about the answer, it’s about the effort.

theenderman510 · 2018-07-04T03:56:42+00:00

Order some phenibut

OhFuhSho · 2018-07-03T15:35:48+00:00

Did you try sharing your secret identity?

fridii · 2018-07-03T18:15:01+00:00

hmm , have you ever told her you like her so much ?

I thinks it gonna work

Title	Asked a girl out in person for the first time
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	333
Comments	56
Date	July 3, 2018 1:01 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/8vs05y/asked_a_girl_out_in_person_for_the_first_time/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/asked-a-girl-out-in-person-for-the-first-time.1449224 https://theredarchive.com/post/1449224

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