gf of 3 months wants me to 'open up' and 'show more feelings and care'

Stayinghereforreal · 2015-01-07T19:40:22+00:00

so what does it mean when she wants me to open up ?

She means "say things that I find comforting/exciting/interesting and lead me to believe that you and I have a deep connection".

That means you divert her with amusing stories about your past, with you as the protagonist doing interesting things. It means you show enthusiasm for certain hobbies or interests, and share them with her. (e.g., like movies? Take her to some good ones that she will like, and then explain to her what makes that bit of cinema interesting. What camera angles are used, what production quirks are seen in the film, etc. Show MASTERY of the topic!)

Do NOT do the following: share any tales of emotional trauma from your past, which has left you a bit damaged. (Prior GF cheated on you? Do not share. Dad used to kick the crap out of you. Do not share. These are your scars to bear. Sorry, but women do not bond tighter with you over such stuff. That is just how it is.) Cry. Spend long minutes describing how much luuuuuuuuv her. Assure her that you feel safe with her or some other sappy puppy dog love crap.

Women generally want to date thrilling, gentlemen pirates who can both swashbuckle and treat them well. They do not want to date women in male bodies. Be a gentleman pirate, not a damsel in distress.

bleh321 · 2015-01-08T01:26:33+00:00

I generally ignore the "want me to open up" comments as the more information you give, the less fantasy of a man you are to her.

Use a woman's technique and trickle feed information to her about your past experiences, ambitions and hobbies. Why trickle feed? You do not want to be an open book to her. Make her want to know everything about you but you are in control of that information. A woman's fantasy mind is always of positive nature.

In regards to "show more feelings and care" this could an indication of too much alpha. This isn't a bad thing as it is generally hard to balance alpha/beta in an LTR, especially for a newbie redpiller. Better to be overly alpha than beta! Ideally in an LTR, you want to throw in a bit of beta, tell her she looks good when she does, smells good etc

Do not start doing what she asks of you. Above all do not start talking about your feelings!

1NV0K3R · 2015-01-07T19:38:32+00:00

we lost our virginities to ourselves

What? You masturbated? That's not losing virginity mate.

Anyway my plate does this same shit. I told I don't do that kind of shit and if she wants a guy who does to go to Starbucks and pick one of the scarves there. I show through action.

She still pouts every now and then but I just flip her over and it's all good.

fnordsnord · 2015-01-07T19:47:36+00:00

If a martini were a relationship, beta is NOT the vermouth. And it's certainly not the gin. Think of it as the olive. This is a comfort test.

You can say I lurve you. Just make sure you hear it twice as much from her as she does from you.

KyfhoMyoba · 2015-01-08T00:21:35+00:00

Don't do it. If you do, she'll lose attraction for you. This is more likely a shit test than a comfort test. She is trying to find out how to control you.

Pay no attention to what she says. Pay close attention to what she does. Is she still giving you hot sex? Is she exploring her sexual boundaries with you? Is she withdrawing? Does she seem insecure about your relationship? (A little of that's a good thing, btw.)

[deleted] · 2015-01-07T19:44:46+00:00

In any LTR you need a combination of Alpha/Beta.

It's important not NOT show negative emotions (whining/complaining) but you do need to show Positive emotions.

How changes alot depending on the person, for example I'm a very physical person so when I'm OLTRing a girl, from time to time I hug her tightly and tell her she smells awesome. When she does something cute/funny I randomly kiss her with a smile etc...

Bottomline is that in an LTR she need to know you are her rock, but at the same time she must also feel cherished and wanted.

Title	gf of 3 months wants me to 'open up' and 'show more feelings and care'
Author	falafin
Upvotes	3
Comments	7
Date	January 7, 2015 7:30 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2rnphk/gf_of_3_months_wants_me_to_open_up_and_show_more/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/gf-of-3-months-wants-me-to-open-up-and-show-more.145048 https://theredarchive.com/post/145048

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