Should you approach for the sake of approaching?

Kingtorythegreat · 2018-08-21T01:40:35+00:00

Naturally if you want to learn to talk to people... you should get use to talking to everyone. If you only talk to females you find attractive in a social situation you may get “stuck”. And there’s more to life

alias_guy88 · 2018-08-21T02:35:24+00:00

Manson talks about the 'stories you tell yourself' when you are trying to talk to women and excuses used to not, as in 'I was too late to work out', being the example. You should talk to women because you want to, and if you honestly aren't feeling it, then don't, but you shouldn't be using excuses. For me I don't ask girls out at the gym not routinely anyway, unless I had to, but that's because it's never really worked out for me, and here and there I still will but it's dependent on my mood and the what the person is doing. That's my story, I don't ask out women at the gym routinely but I do when I feel like it.

recyclablebanthas · 2018-08-21T03:58:36+00:00

1

However, after we spot each other about 10 feet out, when we pass, she does the double take and looks directly in my eyes, before she's out of eyesight.

And THAT was the moment to say something. The problem is, you were listening to that negative self-talk in your head. The voices furiously trying to figure out what to say or do.

All you needed was to say, "HI." And wave your hand.

This is like playground level of simplicity, but we humans like to make shit complicated. (Any of us here have been through this!)

2

For about a few seconds I thought of turning around and approaching her.....

Running after her? Naw. In the moment, that was the time. Running after her, scrambling about what to say, would have killed it.

3

.....but I remember a post here saying that you should approach out of desire, not necessity/practice.

This is nonsense that doesn't make any sense. You are literally approaching all the time. You're literally interacting with people non-verbally, all the time. You already "approached," her. You just didn't open your mouth; you choked the interaction out and left it at non-verbal eye contact.

But make no mistake, you still interacted and communicated with her.

All this stuff about "approaching out of desire, not practice," doesn't mean anything. You plug yourself into the moment. You pay attention. (Hint: When you're wondering what to say, you've pulled inside of your head and are not paying attention anymore.) Pay attention, and you have information to talk about.

It doesn't even take much. Like, I said, "Hi," and a wave would have been enough. The mistake here was thinking you needed some special thing to say or some special desire or whatever. All you needed was to open your mouth and say something.

If she is interested in interacting, she'll hit the damn ball back. If she isn't, then it won't matter what glorious line you can figure out, she won't hit the ball back.

4

Plus I would be late to my workout and it would've not been a genuine direct approach.

Genuine would have been at that moment you had the double take, but I think you know this.

codewizbambam · 2018-08-21T04:01:14+00:00

Well there's people who will tell you to cold approach basically anything that's above a 5. On one hand, you need to get some practise under your belt. That given, on the other hand, the basic idea is that it's obviously pretty hard to go out of an approach without gathering some hints on what you did right and wrong, and it's basically that little bit of information you are supposed to work on. In short, it's the long and hard road to get this done, and besides that, if you think about it, taking people who are possibly a bit socially unapt and such, and sending them down the road of trying to get a lay off of main street is a bit nuts in its own regards. Additionally, people were gaming in nightclubs a lot (because of the inherent social setting), and someone had the idea to just do pretty much the same thing basically on main street, and the salvation to the issue that you're behaving like you were in a nightclub pretty much anywhere, is to push the envelope as far as you can. I honestly think that this idea is totally skewed. You should better try to get yourself into social settings around things you enjoy (meetup, salsa, the local mau mau club etc), and see if you can meet likeminded girls in a setting that is fun to you anyhow. That's a much more sane approach, and it will make approaching much easier. There are rare situations where you meet a girl in a public space, and it just so clicks from the getgo (like nonverbally), that a cold approach on main street really makes sense (you will know). Trying to force that thing usually goes downhill, and the lay rates in such things are really terribly low, and additionally anyone can easily fake daygame infield footage. </rant>

tab13092 · 2018-08-21T13:36:02+00:00

I honestly think if you're not in to it you're not in to it.

I generally will notice I've caught the eye of someone, but if I'm not in the mood/preoccupied with something I've deemed more of a priority I'll just continue on as I was.

As other's have said. It's a good chance to practice being social in terms of striking up small talk with a stranger, because every interaction doesn't have to be based with seduction in mind. Being comfortable talking with everyone is just as helpful imo.

Either way, you went with your gut feeling and passed. Nothing wrong with that.

kalz44 · 2018-08-21T13:39:01+00:00

My rule is approach when I want to. This means if I’m at the store and I see someone I want to talk to or at the club and I see someone I want to talk to. Approach if you want.

spnger4life · 2018-08-22T05:48:29+00:00

What this sounds like to me is AA, if you dont smile or say morning to her why would she stop? Your confusion is because of your ego which only gets in the way because you interpreted a glance as interest, she may or may not have been your type but if you felt it then thats something to reflect on. I let my ego protect me for too long.

Title	Should you approach for the sake of approaching?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	4
Comments	7
Date	August 21, 2018 12:32 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/98yqpa/should_you_approach_for_the_sake_of_approaching/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/should-you-approach-for-the-sake-of-approaching.1452050 https://theredarchive.com/post/1452050

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