Topics of conversation

anustart777 · 2018-12-04T01:16:15+00:00

Bro that’s why you fuck openers, scripts, and all that other garbage. It’s nice when you’re starting out, but you have some of that engrained in your memory now.

You sound like you know what’s generally attractive to women when it comes to behavior. So now relax, let go of routines, and let muscle memory kick in.

FORD - talk about family, occupation, recreation, dreams.

Instill your own personality. If conversation lulls, your natural memory can sprinkle some of those statements you’ve “memorized.”

At the end of the day you’re not a robot. Polarize. If she doesn’t like you for who you are (with the assumption that you’re a fit, stylish, smart, social, hard working, non-needy dude) then on to the next one. She did you a favor.

Remember that YOU are the prize. Don’t pedestalize. And dear god, don’t directly tell them they’re attractive. They know. They’ve been hit on since 16.

Fuck_The_West · 2018-12-04T01:41:22+00:00

If you ever find your self in a situation where you need a convo starter, go with "gums gotten mintier lately. Have you noticed?"

Works every time

Renegader933 · 2018-12-04T01:02:56+00:00

Me too brother

Me too

recyclablebanthas · 2018-12-04T05:18:10+00:00

1

I find myself always getting stuck on what topics to talk about.

This shouldn't be an issue. If you're doing basic things like actively listening to her and following up based on what she just said, then you'll have loads to talk about.

(Regarding follow-up, I'm definitely not talking about relating what she said to you or whether you have direct experience with it. I'm talking about digging deeper into her emotions or motivations regarding what she just said.)

2

It’s because of all the RSD advice on push/pull, direct, indirect, setting your intentions and on and on. It’s too hard to remember everything.

They have a lot of talk about theory and such, and while it's not bad to be aware of these things, one doesn't truly implement them by thinking about each one individually. It's like, when you walk, there are so many different muscles flexing and working to make that happen. But you don't exert each one, one at a time. Fuck no, you just choose a place to walk and go there; it's more about the direction. And similarly, it's the mindsets that matter almost more than the individual parts. Getting the right mindsets down, will lead to a lot of stuff tucking itself in.

If you try to tuck in parts individually, like, oh, have to set my intention, push, pull, etc., then it comes off mechanical. As opposed to:

Adopting an attitude
Improving your self-worth
Building good circles of friends/support network, preferably as diverse as possible (i.e., not just other dudes or PUAs, etc.)

3

I feel like the biggest rule holding me back is that of “don’t make small talk, they know what you want.” Or “don’t offer to hangout and do this - be honest that you want to hangout because you’re sexually interested.”

These beliefs lead me into unnatural conversations. My instincts tell me to just do me and invite them to hangout...not make a big deal out of it or say “you’re attractive” or something.

A lot to unpack here:

Small talk is not small. It's a doorway to connecting to someone. Follow-up well on something as mundane as, "How long have you lived here?" or "What do you do for work?" and you can easily have lots of conversation that goes more than deep enough.
The implications of "They know what you want, so don't bother with small talk," is shitty advice. The idea being that you don't need to bother hiding the fact that you want to put a penis in a vagina. Of course, they know that, but people still want to feel like people, rather than someone waiting in a queue to get FUCKED. There are some girls with damage who are exceptions, but by and large, even girls who are focused overly on sex, will respond better if you build tension and connect even a little first.
"Don't offer to hang out," is fucking ridiculous and dead wrong. Inviting someone to do something, perhaps even using the words, "hang out," is fine. Just have a plan in mind. If you've been connecting with someone, and following up well on what they've said, then you'll usually have something of a decent thing to suggest doing.
Telling someone that they're attractive in the early going, is not necessary and often makes a dude look desperate unless he's advanced. Too often, unless you're already advanced, a guy who's using this sort of tactic, is doing so out of desperation and in lieu of fundamental things like following up well in conversation, active listening, or physical escalation.

4

I was about to approach this chick, was going to ask what song she was playing on guitar and that I liked her voice then go into small talk with some push/pull flirting which is my default, but then I was like “wait, all these rules” and starting thinking way too much.

Yeah, you basically overrode some excellent ideas. This shit really isn't rocket science. The problem is that you can't be married to any particular PUA or school of PUAs because some of them are in business and that means they need to sell the idea that this shit is so complicated that you need to pay for expensive camps or services to figure it out.

But it's not complicated. We had this figured out in kindergarten before we started thinking too much.

Asking her about the song she was playing would have been great! Following up by digging into why she chose the song or how she found it, or something of that nature, would have been golden..... The point is, this was someone who was showing their art, and they'd probably react well to someone asking them about them and their motivations, etc.

Saying you like her voice might have been a good first part, but not as a follow-up to asking what song she was playing.

vitofaber · 2018-12-04T10:58:36+00:00

putting it simple, just cauch her keywords

injesterstrust · 2018-12-04T11:45:04+00:00

I think I know what you mean.

In hindsight, one of the things that hurt my game was the usual typical advice about 'never asking questions, especially 'boring' ones like her name, age, where she works etc etc'' and then you start to force really strange topics of conversation so as to not 'break the rules' and you end up just not looking socially 'normal' which is kind of important!

I always see people commenting on someone's FR with stuff like ''Dude, don't ask her name or anything after you open her! That's bad game! Ask her a really interesting question instead!'' but in reality, walking up too a stranger, saying hi and then being like 'So, what would you do if you won the lottery?'' makes you sound like an oddball lol. Similarly, DHV stories and negs and cold reads etc can also make you look worse than just asking her damn name and what she's up too or whatever.

I kind of feel like the PUA industry is kind of being 'found out' nowadays! All their tricks and tips are mostly doing more harm than good. Every PUA forum I read seems to mainly be people questioning all of this 'wisdom'.

Just be 'normal' if you can. Don't' worry about what you say being boring. Actively listen and try to relate to what she's saying and stuff. Try to inject some humour and show some intent along the way. I like to forget 99% of the 'rules' nowadays

ntipz011 · 2018-12-04T06:43:07+00:00

Dude. DO SMALL TALK.

Watching too many RSD videos tricks your mind into thinking that techniques and stuff are most of game. It's not. Techniques and stuff are like 10% of it. You NEED the small talk in order to build comfort. The techniques are just there to overcome obstacles (she's bored, she's creeped out, another guy comes in, impossible to open her with words, etc).

Also, I wrote an article on that topic there, maybe it can help you talk more.

https://insaneflirt.wordpress.com/2018/11/25/the-biggest-problem-when-you-dont-know-what-to-say-and-how-to-fix-it-now/

Next step, try to master the body language basics (eye contact, voice, body position relative to her) and how to run the interaction from open to close. While doing this, just small talk. You don't need to do much really.

Title	Topics of conversation
Author	MrBobosky
Upvotes	5
Comments	15
Date	December 4, 2018 12:34 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/a2v4y6/topics_of_conversation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/topics-of-conversation.1457949 https://theredarchive.com/post/1457949

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