No dates. What's wrong with me?

Taken250 · 2019-01-01T18:21:13+00:00

I'm in the same boat my friend. It's hurt me to my inner core

tooeasilybored · 2019-01-01T18:46:09+00:00

Have you tried another approach? I'm not sure how to phrase this but don't chase "wanting a GF" but instead just enjoy life. Don't go out because you want to approach, go out because it's friday and you feel like a drink or something.

I'm 28 and have only been single for about 2 years since I was 19. I have never taken a girl on a real date...you know where you dress up and are supposed to pick them up or meet them somewhere....never done that. I just live my life, and if they want I invite them for a ride. I think a lot of people on this sub focus on getting numbers, getting dates when you all should be chasing some sort of connection with your potential partner. That connection is what keeps them coming back to you and not someone else.

People just want excitement and fun and being the nice guy is really not that exciting unless you look like ryan reynolds. Focus on having fun with those around you when you go out.

sleazyhose · 2019-01-01T18:29:58+00:00

I'm feeling this but a bit older. Was dating and getting a lot of hookups around 5 years ago but have been sexually inactive since and haven't been able to get dating.

I'm taking it more seriously this year though, a lot more opens and working daily on my self-esteem.

It's all about momentum, if you can start with opens and that leads to dates and then that leads to sex it is easier to keep it rolling even if things don't work out with that girl. I went wrong by "taking a break" from sex and dating and it has lead me to be seen by women as undesirable.

Start at opens. When girls understand you're "on the market", you should be seen as desirable more easily.

Maluc0 · 2019-01-01T20:03:42+00:00

Hate to tell you bro but you are BORING to girls. Most likely from being overly nice. This is very easy to not see in yourself. If you chat up girls all the time and dont get a reaction, then you need to change up your approach. You need to incite feelings of excitement and desire. Make her want to talk to you. Want to know more.

Max-20 · 2019-01-01T19:17:33+00:00

Why do you think you are attractive when you get no dates?

ripgd · 2019-01-01T20:27:56+00:00

“They say I’m a great guy”

Knowing noting about you but based on this statement and your facts, I think your most likely cause is being too much of a “nice guy”. By that I mean you’re building no sexual tension, not showing any real intent (or by the time you are it’s too late), or just being overall too “considerate” and or “safe”.

This is where this reddit and its posts are gold, some subtle behavioural changes could make a world of difference.

geeered · 2019-01-01T18:48:20+00:00

Were the dating coaches of the 'pickup' variety or a more 'fem-centered' style?

I'm not amazing at any of these (in fact I mostly suck), but I've always had a decent idea of the reasons why - well, I don't do the approach and laughing bits you do.
But when I am talking, I don't build attraction.

You could try seeing if the book "No More Mr Nice Guy" applies to you.

" Counselors, dating coaches, friends and family have been unable to point out anything that I'm doing wrong. They say I'm a great guy. " seems like just the sort of thing that would be told to a nice guy by people that don't really understand reality.

Models by Mark Manson discusses some of these areas, but it does seem to come to the point of view from someone that was good at pickup before he wrote the book - which I think gave him some easier routes that the rest of us may struggle with a bit more.

(For instance being more selective - that requires me to have women to deselect :) ).

Renegader933 · 2019-01-01T18:57:10+00:00

Escalation brother, escalation.

Bruce_wayne89 · 2019-01-01T19:37:01+00:00

Sexualize the conversation from the start and escalate if you don't want to be friend zoned.

If it's not working, Sexualize some more.

HunkSeven · 2019-01-01T20:58:08+00:00

Same here...it hurts so bad and my sexual desire is altering my Game.

anabolic92 · 2019-01-01T20:45:19+00:00

Attractive people has no problem getting dates (hint: you are not attractive)

Title	No dates. What's wrong with me?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	11
Comments	27
Date	January 1, 2019 6:18 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/abkebv/no_dates_whats_wrong_with_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/no-dates-whats-wrong-with-me.1459716 https://theredarchive.com/post/1459716

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