Hi Guys,

A few weeks ago I went to a bar in the evening with friends. One of my friends really likes to 'circulate' and meet new people when we're out, especially girls. We had both talked to a number of girls that evening, both together and individually approaching. Some girls were actually older than me (though all were from my college so around 20-26) and the interactions had various levels of success/connection.

As always, the last girl I spoke to in the evening went really well. I felt a real connection with her though not that much was said between us (I didn't discuss her whole life story etc., just casual conversation at first). Before we even started talking, we caught each other's eyes and made really natural eye contact, and an easy conversation just sparked off from it. She was actually talking to another guy at that point, but he just stopped talking to her as he looked over and saw her looking at me (and ignoring him), and then we just started talking as if he wasn't even there (I feel kind of bad about that retrospectively, but whatever.)

We were both sat down at that point and when we stood up to move closer and carry on the conversation, I looked her much deeper in the eyes and realised I really liked this girl and I could tell she thought the same about me. I'd seen her around college a few times before, but I never realised how pretty and attractive she was. It was a really powerful feeling and I've not felt that many times in my life.

It was a sense of confidence that allowed me to do this, as my younger self would have nervously looked away or awkwardly smiled and tried to 'qualify myself' to her in the conversation that followed. So what I learned from this interaction is the real value of eye contact, and being confident enough in your self to actually look a girl in the eye. I've only noticed it recently, but I rarely actually look most people in the eye in day to day life. I think it works so well as it's quite an intimate thing to do, and is a way to show the girl the confidence you have. Once you do this it will make interactions so much better.